It takes one single moment to define your life.
Cassie learned it the hard way. She's seventeen and felt like she has the world on her shoulders. Trying to survive and keep going despite the sadness and fear, Cassie finds out that opening your hear...
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The distinctive smell of pancakes woke me up. Bright sun slipped from beneath the curtains. The house felt too warm and everything was too bright. Warily, I got up and paced downstairs. Every step I took made the smell stronger. Pancakes had always been my favorite food as a child. The kitchen was so bright that I had to cover my eyes for a moment.
My whole world stopped when I heard her laughing. I stood still as I watched Mom smiling at me. She pulled a chair and gestured me to sit down. She looked young. Her hair was brown and rested on her shoulders. She was wearing her favorite dress. It was white with orange embroidery. She wasn't pale anymore. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes looked full of life. She looked completely healthy. Like she had been three years ago. Even younger.
Mom. You're not real. You're dead.
She placed a large plate of pancakes in front of me and took a seat across the table. Her light brown eyes gazed at me with love. My heart was pounding faster inside my chest. A large lump was forming inside my throat and I couldn't say anything. I knew this was a dream. I knew she was still gone.
She seemed so real, though.
A moment later, without knowing how it happened, I was sitting on the table in front of her. She beamed at me. The large lump I was feeling sunk deeper in my chest. I couldn't breathe. Gently, her hand reached out for my hand on the table. I followed her movements as she placed it on top of mine and held it tightly. My heart skipped a beat as I could actually feel her fingers closing in on me as she smiled. A bright and encouraging smile. Warmness wrapped over me. A small sob left my lips as her hold tightened.
I wanted to say so much to her. So many things that I needed to clear up with her. So many apologies that she deserved.
Yet, I couldn't say anything. No word left my mouth.
I love you Cassie.
Her lips didn't move. She didn't say it. But I heard her voice and I could feel it.
With a sudden gasp, I opened my eyes. Darkness encased me as I realized that I was in my room. My hand touched my cheek as I felt tears rolling down. Slowly, my eyes adjusted to the dark and I could see the distinctive silhouette of the wooden desk beside the window, the open suitcase that I left on the floor last night. It was just a dream.
I sat in bed and wrapped my arms around my knees. I closed my eyes even though I was still crying.
It felt so real.
I could still feel the lingering warmness of her hand on mine. I visualized her bright smile. The way she looked. She was so different than the last image I had of her. She had regained vitality. Most of all, she seemed at peace and happy.
I wondered if that's how I wanted to see her.
Was it real? Was there more to life after dead? Was she all right?
