I Couldn't Stop Caring

Chapter 14

Clarke sat in front of the fire on the warm rug before it, slumped against the table beside it with her legs tucked underneath her comfortably. After much digging around, she had found a pencil and paper. And, with her injured arm dangling helplessly to one side, decided to draw to fill in the time.

The hard lead of her pencil brushing against the rough paper filled the room, and then joined by the soft crackle of flames behind her. Every once in a while, her eyes would flick up from her artwork to land on Lexa, cornflower blue hovering over the commander's features before moving back down to capture them. Lexa breathed heavily in her sleep, chest rising and falling harshly. Clarke could only guess it was from lack of air. Her throat must be a lot worse than she thought.

Clarke traced the elegant swell of Lexa's lips, eyes furrows in concentration and, as she glanced up, she saw Lexa stir slightly in her sleep. Her tongue darted out between her parted lips, attempting to remove the dryness subconsciously. Her head moved to rest more comfortably against the arm of the couch, and she pulled her arm closer to her chest. Clarke frowned and looked down at her drawing, slightly frustrated that Lexa had changed positions, now making her artwork rather inaccurate. She bit her lip as she tried to adjust the drawing to Lexa's new position.

That was, until she moved again. This time, her long strengthened legs kicked out, eyes wide as she quickly pushed herself into a sitting position. Her hands gripped tightly onto the sides of the couch, and her head turned to look around the room at a fast pace.

Clarke dropped her pencil at the sudden rushed movement, taken by surprise. That didn't stop her, though, from dropping her paper and moving to Lexa's side to provide some sort of comfort. Lexa's breath caught in her throat as Clarke's hand landed softly upon her leg, her eyes still searching the room with... with fear. She was like a whole other girl.

"Hey" Clarke leant forward to catch her eyes, to bring her attention to something other than what she had just awoken from "hey, you're okay"

Lexa's breaths came out in rapid, inhaling nothing but small gasps. She leant forward, hands pressing to her forehead. Her throat bobbed as she swallowed down her fear. She seemed so... vulnerable. It was strange for Clarke to see her strength falter.

"What were you dreaming about?" She asked, eyebrows pulled together into a concerned frown.

"I-" Lexa pushed herself to sit more comfortably. Even now after plenty of rest, her voice was croaky from the attack. Clarke's hand remained on her leg, thumb brushing back and forth against her knee. It wasn't meant to be anything more than comforting, and that's all it was. To both of them. "Past commanders communicate with the present commander through sleep. They show memories and speak. They all showed me a section of their lives I do not ever wish to see or live, Clarke"

When Lexa stared at the ground, Clarke shook her head subtly. What was she even talking about? Past commander's communicating with her through her dreams? She thought Lexa must be paranoid.

"It was just a nightmare" Clarke assured "how about we talk about it-"

"No. No, I can tell the difference between a nightmare and this" Lexa turned to her, eyes urgent "They are not just nightmares Clarke. They are real."

"And what exactly did they show you?"

Lexa pushed herself to the edge of the couch, ready to stand. She pressed a palm to her temple, as if somehow, it would drive all of the nightmares from her head.

"We do not need this distraction" Lexa said, straightening her back as she stood, blinking rapidly and swaying ever so slightly. Her face hardened in determination "we... we must open the door to security and contact Raven."