365 Days

Day 261

Here I am. In a club with my friends, drinking our lives away and all I can do is sit and worry about hurting a guy who isn't even mine. So much for my attempt at not caring. Honestly, all I wanted to do was go home, but Kat and Flo refused to let me mope around on my own, which is why they dragged me out in the first place soon after we got home.

Me and Will basically went back to normal after our kiss, We talked for a few hours and then agreed that my life was basically too complicated right now for me to be even thinking about anything like that. He knows about my feeling for Luke, and everything that happened with Paul. I basically became a waterfall and just spilled out the entirety of the thoughts that have been keeping me awake at night for the past few weeks. He was understanding, he even attempted to give me advice on what to do about Luke, which I was grateful for. I needed a male view on the situation. He admitted that he had always seen something between me and Luke, he didn't understand why he was back with Elizabeth either but I guess no one really knows the real reason other than Luke himself.

I can feel the alcohol settling in my system and begin to relax a little, even joined in with a few conversations, rekindling my friendship with the group I had abandoned when me and Paul split. After I finished the rest of my drink, I got up to go get a new one, offering if anyone else would like me to get them one, when suddenly, I heard shouting.

'Where the fuck is she?' Oh god, I recognise that voice anywhere.

'Paige, do you want us to tell him to leave?' Kat looked at me with concern, but I just shrugged. I expected this, he would find out about Will eventually so I might as well take the hit as it's coming.

'There you are! What the fuck do you think you're doing? I'm out here trying to prove to you that I deserve another chance. I haven't even looked at another girl Paige, you can even ask Jay. He's been by my side the entire time, and you're just going round with whoever you want??' Paul looks like he is about to explode, a few looks are thrown at us but I ignore them. I was expecting him to be mad, but maybe not this mad.

'Okay, for one you need to calm down before you get us thrown out of here. And two it's none of your damn business who I am with, besides it was just a kiss so I don't even understand why you are so angry!' I put my hands on my hips, giving Paul an annoyed look. His eyes widened and he just shook his head.

'Oh yeah and the rest?' he said, as if he wanted me to continue.

'What are you talking about?'

'I'm talking about the fact that you slept with Will, while I'm here trying to prove my love for you which is pretty damn hard considering you've been gone for two wee...' I put my hand up stopping him abruptly, not actually believing what I'm hearing.

'Wait! What did you just say? I did what?' He looks at me like I've grown two heads.

'You fucking slept with Will, is it just that easy for you to get over me?' Paul was about to go on his rant again but I held my hand up, stopping him.

'I never fucking slept with him, so you need to get your facts straight before you come barging in here accusing me of shit like that! We kissed and that was it!!' I was almost yelling now, again earning a few glares from people in the club.

'Oh yeah? Well that's not what Will said, he seemed pretty damn proud of the fact he had been able to bed you and was quite happy to tell anything that had ears'

'WHAT!?!' Me, Kat and Flo all screamed at the same time. Just as I was about to ask Paul for more information, Luke came barging through the door, running towards us. I hadn't seen him in over a week and he was still just as beautiful as when I had left. It annoyed me that he still had this affect on me, to make me feel that it was only me and him in the room the minute he entered. I wanted to run up to him and hold him against me, tell him how much I missed him, But right now, he looked like he had bigger things to deal with other than my creepy, clingy arse.

'Seriously Paul, did you not hear me shouting your name? You need to calm down before you pop a fucking blood vessel' Luke didn't even acknowledge me, which hurt me a little bit. I tried to bite down the pain and believe that it was simply because he was attempting to calm Paul down.

'Fuck this, I'm out of here. Call me when you sort your fucking head out!!' Paul said as he walked away. Finally, Luke turned his head towards me and the moment our eyes met, every single feeling that I had tried to suppress shot through me like a bullet. I couldn't even comprehend what was happening in this moment of time, but I didn't care as long as he was here.

'Care to explain something?' Wait? Why did his voice sound so cold? Is he pissed off with me, dear god this can't be happening.

'I was about to ask you the same thing. Can we talk outside?' I gestured towards the door and he followed me outside. I instantly lit a cigarette, offering him one which he rejected.

'What happened while you were away Paige? Because honestly, the shit I've heard about you in the past 4 hours does not sound like the girl that left' Luke looked at me with disgust in his eyes.

'I didn't sleep with Will, that you have to believe. I don't know what the fuck he thinks he is doing by telling people otherwise, but believe me. Please' I sit down in the closest chair and fiddle with my cigarette, not able to look at him.

'Okay...' Luke says as he sits in the chair next to me.

'Explain' So I fill him in on literally everything that happened this week, obviously leaving out the part where me and Will talked about my feelings for him. By the end of my recap, the disgusted look in Lukes eyes had completely transformed into a look of sympathy.

'I thought he was supposed to be my best friend, I don't know why he would lie about something like this. Especially since I fucking saved his arse from getting arrested and then nearly got arrested myself for him!! I thought I could trust him' I almost whispered.

Luke put his arm around my shoulders and pulled my head into his chest. I missed his smell, the way he felt against me, a sudden wave of safety washed over me and I found myself crying into his chest. All the tension and drama of this week just faded way and I finally felt like I could let it all out. He just stroked my hair while I cried, until I felt like I had no tears left.

'I thought everything in my life was getting better, I thought getting rid of Paul would be the answer to my happiness. But everything just seems to have gone more to shit since hes been gone. It makes me think you know, maybe I made a mistake' Luke lifts my chin to look into his eyes.

'Paige, are you seriously telling me that you would go back to him, to that life?'

'Maybe it won't be the same? Maybe now that I've shown him I am not afraid to leave, he will be more careful around me and actually treat me with respect' I say hopefully. Luke stands up and runs his hands through his hair, exasperated.

'Paige. Please don't' I could see the fear in his eyes and it only confused me more. What is his problem, does he just expect me to be alone forever while he plays fucking happy relationships with Satan?

'Why the hell not? You've got Elizabeth back after what she did, why can't I do the same? I have fucking nothing now Luke! I had so much planned for when I was finally free and none of it is happening. It's not what I thought it would be, I thought I would have shit figured out by now. But I haven't, with Paul I had it all there set out in front of me and it was safe. Secure' I shake my head and walk away from Luke, in the complete opposite direction to the club.

'Paige! Wait..' Luke yells after me.

'I need time to clear my head Luke. Just leave me alone' with that, I walk away from him.