Without Me

Writers block

"Why is this so hard?" Marshall shouted running his hands through his hair. Ashley had been gone two hours, and in that time he'd only managed to write two lines. He had no inspiration no ideas, and it was tearing him up inside.

He tried for another half an hour before he gave up, shoving his notebook and pen back inside his suitcase. He was frustrated, normally if he had some time alone on a trip, his imagination ran wild, but for once he had nothing.

So in need of a much-needed distraction, Marshall reached over to grab the remote from the floor, where it had landed after he'd previously knocked it off the bed. He then turned the Tv on, the first channel that appeared was some celebrity news gossip show. Which was showing the red carpet from the Met.

Marshall sighed and was about to turn over when the picture showed Ashley, about to begin an interview. He couldn't help but watch and listen.

"Ashley it's your first Met, how are you feeling?" To Marshall, the female interviewer seemed nice enough, although the first questions asked were normally always asking how you were.

"I was kinda nervous, to begin with, not gonna lie, " she let out a little laugh, which made the hairs on his arms stand up. Ashley wasn't happy and the sharp cold laugh was enough to let him know that.

He zoned out from the conversation and focused more on the way Ashely moved when she spoke. She was uncomfortable and it made him wonder what was wrong, was it just her nervous or had something happened before she'd reached the interviewer. He was quickly drawn back to the conversation when the tone of Ashley's voice matched how uncomfortable she seemed to be.

''Um, I er,'' Marshall hadn't heard what the woman had asked, but it didn't stop him from feeling angry as Ashley looked for the words to say in reply, ''no, I'm, just going to say no. There is a longer story to it, but I'm not sharing it,'' he furrowed his brow, her answer hadn't really given him any clues to the question. All he could think about was something to do with Alonzo, but he was sure that something like that coming up wouldn't cause her to stumble over her words like she had.

''Well thank you and enjoy the rest of the event,'' Ashley nodded to the interviewer and Marshall watched her wander out of shot.

***

From the moment Ashley stepped foot back inside the hotel room, Marshall could tell she had not enjoyed, 'the rest of the event.' He could tell because, she had literally thrown her heels off and grabbed the nearest pieces of clothing she could, before locking herself in the bathroom to get changed. He found the silence unbearable as he waited patiently on the bed for her to come back out of the bathroom. However, the time it took for her to eventually come out of the bathroom, did allow him to come up with a plan, which was that he wasn't going to pressure her in telling him what happened.

''Go on then, ask me why I'm in such a pissy mood,'' Ashley grumbled out as she perched on the edge of the bed, the other end to him.

''I'm not going to ask you anything Ash,'' he crawled over to her, before sitting himself next to her on her right.

''Normally you do,'' she mumbled, fiddling with the sleeve of the hoodie she had changed into moments ago.

''Well normally I don't see the way you react to what others are saying to you,'' he explained, which caused her to lift her head up and turn to look at him.

''You heard what she asked me. Shit,'' she whispered the last part, but Marshall managed to catch it.

''No I heard your answer. What did she ask?''

''I thought you weren't asking me anything,'' she pointed out, turning her head away from him and down to look at her feet which hung off the bed. there was a small moment of silence before Marshall's hand crept across to wrap around her small slender one. He was thankful she didn't move away.

''I know, but I worry Ash, I've always worried about you. If this gonna work you gotta tell me stuff when you're upset or afraid."

"What exactly is this, " she piped up, letting go of his hand so she could put air quotations around the word 'this' as she spoke.

"What do you mean, 'this'?" Ashley sighed standing up, leaving Marshall staring up at her blankly from his position on the bed.

"What are we, Marshall. I know you wanted to wait and see how it goes before telling Jamie. But explain to me how 'it, ' is meant to go if I have no idea what we are, " Ashley exclaimed, running a tight-fisted hand through her knotted hair.

"Ash you need to stop over thinking this, " Marshall tried to calm her down, by reaching over to grab her, but she moved away. She only moved back half a step, but it was enough to make Marshall annoyed at how upset she was getting.

"I'm not overthinking Marshall, I just wanna know where we stand. What we're calling this because if you can answer that I'll tell you what the woman said to me and why I was so uncomfortable about it, " she finally explained and Marshall finally understood.

"Ash, I like you ok. God, I sound like a lovestruck teenager. If you want we to call you my girlfriend then I'm ok with it, " he responded, carefully edging closer to her and taking both her hands in his.

"You may not want to be with me after what I say, " Ashley cast her eyes down once more to look at her feet.

"I don't care, say it, " Marshall near enough demanded as he grabbed her chin to make her look up at him.

"She asked me about relationships and whether I thought about having more kids and I..."

"Said no. If this carries on then I'm ok with that Ash, " Marshall cut her off part way through her response.

"It's not that I don't want more. It's highly unlikely I can, " she confessed and his jaw dropped as totally new information to him was just revealed.

"What? How?Why?" He stuttered and Ashley looked him in utter sympathy.

"Sit, I'm gonna tell you about how Jamie had near enough a one in a million chance of being here, " and so Marshall listened, then he understood and then he didn't think twice about what he said next.

"Ash, will you be my girlfriend please," he knew it sounded corny, but he didn't care because all he cared about was her answer.

"Yeah sure whatever, " she replied shrugging her shoulders.

"Hey, " he protested, fake hurt strewn across his features.

"Yes, I will. Don't panic."

"Bitch had me worried, " he added with a grin.

"Oh shut up, " Ashley responded by wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

"Wait, " she frowned at him as he pulled away, "so that means I don't have to worry about protection? He asked.

"Not necessarily. Why?" she questioned.

"Only because I didn't bring any, " and before Ashley could reply his lips were on hers again.