Without Me

The Way I am

''Ashley I can't possibly express how happy I am to see you again,'' Miss Charles beamed as Marshall and Ashley situated themselves on the worn sofa that sat in a rather cosey living room.

Looking around the room Ashley realised that nothing had really changed. Of course, there were a couple of new portraits of children come and gone littered around the room, along with a brand new flat-screen TV, which Ashley knew definitely hadn't been there in 95 (mainly because they didn't exist). The room had shaped her childhood and for the most part, she was glad it hadn't changed.

''I wish I came to visit when we had shows here, but I... we just never had the time,'' it was a half-truth. On occasions, they had had plenty of times to come and visit, but other activities had gotten in the way; parties, lots of parties.

''Yes and I've only ever raised good kids, who didn't blast inappropriate songs during assembly,'' Cathrine's eyes peeked over her glances to give Ashley a stern stare.

''There was no evidence it was actually, they just figured it was me,'' she pointed out picking up the glass of water that sat on the coffee table. Miss Charles had made tea for herself and water for them after asking what they wanted. She'd also placed a bowl of homemade baked biscuits in the centre of the table, of which Marshall was seemingly stuffing his face with.

''It was you though,'' Ashley just shrugged this time, Marshall making a mental note to ask what music she had blasted out in assembly.

''Well what did you expect sending me to a private school,'' there was nearly a confetti biscuit crumbs courtesy of Marshall, but he thankfully kept them in his mouth and eventually swallowed. He didn't take another one after that.

''Well all the others came out good, you were the only one and you were only sent there because they had to let a certain amount of children from less privvilaged backgrounds. Apparently fostered children fell into that. Although all of you were privileged in your own ways,'' Miss Charles had to begin to rant. Ashley let her nodding along and rolling her eyes at the appropriate times. Marshall sat quietly, trying not to eat another biscuit in fear he'd nearly choke again.

''You know what I'd like to see?'' Marshall piped up after Cathrine had finished her ranting.

''What's that dear?'' She responded taking her glasses off to give them a little clean via the cloth she'd had tucked in her pocket.

''You got any baby photo's of Ash,'' Ashley glared at him, ''I mean you've seen all mine,'' he whispered as Cathrine got up to do just that.

''I was an ugly baby so prepare to want your eyes gouged out,'' Marshall just chuckled as Miss Charles came back in with a photo album.

''I haven't got many baby photos since Ashley came to me at five, so many are mostly toddler photos,'' she explained handing the album over to Marshall'd greedy outstretched arms. Ashley rolled her eyes as she watched him start to turn the pages.

''Aw look at you, so happy,'' he joked as a black and white photo depicted Ashley with a stern face as posed with a cake in front of her, the numbers on top indicating that she was seven.

''The cake was carrot cake and I hated carrot cake,'' Ashley responded defending the sour look on her younger selfs face.

''You liked carrots so I thought you'd be happy. How was I supposed to know you didn't like carrot cake,'' Miss Charles shrugged as she glanced over at the page. A warm smile spread across her features as she relived the memory for herself.

''You don't make a carrot cake with actual carrots,'' Ashely pointed outcrossing her arms defensively.

''Yes well I knew that afterwards didn't I,'' Marshall hadn't been listening to the conversation, he was very much intrigued with one particular picture he had come across.

''Hey when was this?'' He asked, waving both women over to look at the image. It showed Ashley with a football scarf around her neck and a big fluffy coat covering her body. The picture was in colour, allowing him to make out the blue and white of the scarf along with her bright red hair pocking out of the hat she was wearing. She looked exactly like she had when he'd met her all Rosey cheeked with an innocent smile adorning her features.

''A week before I left, it was kinda like a going-away present,'' Ashley shrugged as if it was no big deal, ''I'd always wanted to see Chelsea play, you know without fighting over the Tv remote,'' she added.

''You liked Soccer?''

''Football dear,'' Miss Charles corrected him before Ashley had the chance.

''Oh whatever. I didn't realise you were that into it. I mean I always thought Chelsa was a person, like someone's child,'' Ashely scrunched her eyebrows together, ''I mean like when you used to say I'm watching Chelsea play I'll be over after.''

''You thought I was babysitting when in fact I was watching football. Oh my god and I'm having your child,'' Ashley gasped placing her hand on his shoulder.

''Oh dear, what have you done,'' Miss Charles tone was so serious Marshall couldn't figure out whether she was joking or not. The laugh that came after a few seconds proved that she was.

+++

''I cannot believe you had no idea that Chelsea was a football team,'' Ashley was smiling widely as they jumped back into his car. Miss Charles wanted them out before the kids came home from school; Ashely couldn't quite believe that she was still fostering all those years later. Although as she thought about she wouldn't have expected anything less.

''How the fuck was I supposed to know that?'' Marshall pointed out as the driver pulled the car away and down the street. Ashley rolled her eyes and tutted in a taunting away.

''Well since I've watched plenty of American football games,'' she put air quotes around American football, ''why don't you watch a proper football match.''

''Will there even be one on?''

''YouTube my friend, YouTube will have the answer,'' Ashley giggled as it was Marshalls turn to roll his eyes; something Ashley usually did.

''Fine, I doubt I'll enjoy it though.''

''We'll see.''