wild heart. bws

XIII

-Stella- 

I was standing in in front of Brads apartment throwing stones at his windowpane because he didn't let me in. I don't even know whether he is there or not. At least I tried. 

After throwing the stones and knocking several times I gave up. 

I didn't have anywhere to go since I left the keys to my hotel room in Brads apartment instead leaving it at the reception. Well done me. 

I called Dele since I knew that he was still around somewhere. It hasn't been long since he drove away. 

He immediately picked up and said that he would be there soon. Now I was standing here in the rain. London weather is horrible. 

I noticed a car approaching slowly. 

Thank God it was Dele. 

I got into the car and we drove away. I don't know if I was just imagining it but I couldn't help but think that there was light at Brads window. 

-Brad- 

I knew it, maybe she was just here to get her keys so they can get to her room to fuck. 

Why always me? 

I had always bad luck with girls. While my mates met girls and even got engaged or already married, I was still single as ever. It was frustrating me. I had girls all over the world screaming my name but I still couldn't get a girlfriend. No one I liked, liked me back. 

It was me. Not them. 

Stella was just one of them. 

What did I do wrong that she had to get away with the next best guy she talked to. A football player. 

It is always the same. First I like a girl who's really into girls without me noticing even a slightest bit while everyone around me knew and now Stella. A girl who has a crush on football players bigger that Mount Everest. 

And I had a crush on her just as big. How could I not, I mean, she was a hurricane. No one was saved from her, she destroys everything in a radius of kilometers. 

She was the great storm that left nothing behind. 

And I fell for it. 

-Stella-

"So, why are you here with me right now and not with Brad?" I was in Deles apartment, he prepared his couch for me and after that we made ourselves a cuppa tea. 

"He was not at home I think. Well, he could have been but he didn't open up, I don't know what his problem is, I just can't figure him out. Why are you guys always so complicated?"

"If he was home and he saw that you came with me maybe he got jealous, I mean, how would you feel if you've seen him talking to a girl? And I did kiss you after all, there were people around and you don't know if he didn't see us. Just imagine, if it would have been me, I would lose it."

"But Brad doesn't like me this way, we are fuck buddies. We like to have no strings attached. He can do whatever he wants."

"Oh come on, don't be such a cliché. What is up with you? What made you this cold? He wants more that just sex! And you do too. You girls are just so clueless. Just admit it to yourself and everything else will come its way."

"Seriously there is nothing wrong with me, and if so it doesn't concern you!"

"No reason to get angry at me, you know you can talk with me? Right?"

"Yes I guess so. Well, I had everything in my life, I was so happy and I guess that changed, I got diagnosed with a heart condition. Maybe it was just some bad joke of God, such as a punishment for being so careless and happy before."

"And you are now afraid to be happy because than something bad will happen? So what, you don't ever let yourself be happy again? Never fall in love? Just because you think God will punish you for being happy?"

"Well, yes. I guess I deserved it after all, I was a really bitch before the diagnose, not that I was better after."

"I think that is bullshit, you are just trying to justify your cowardice. Just address to yourself that you like him."

"I already did, but nothing happened!"

"How could something happen if you didn't tell him, we boys are not so smart like we pretend. It hurts my ego to admit that but it is the truth, we don't understand your mind games and we surely can't read your mind."

"Well, then let's try, I like him, I like him a lot. He is just amazing, first I hated him, he was womanizing and I misunderstood him being charming. Then he opened up here in London and I saw something in him, I felt something other than sexual tension."

"You are so fucked girl! That is love!"

Maybe he was right and the only way for me to know if Brad and I could be more was to be brave and tell him how I feel.