Lovers in Blue

Chapter 21

*Thursday Back in New York*

I was glad to be back home and to try and put recent events behind me I had gotten a call from the ADA who was trying Liam case and she let me know she had gotten a continuation on the trial with everything that had happened to me. Jamie and I had been discussing the wedding on and off all day we hadn't picked an exact date but we wanted to go with late October or early November of next year. That would give me plenty of time to plan and plenty of time to get better . I was excited to go to the doctor tomorrow but also nervous hoping they would tell me I could go back to work instead of having to wait longer because staying home was getting old. Jamie and I spent most of the day catching up on laundry and going to the grocery store. Jamie and I had talked about the wedding and some aspects of our life after we were married but one thing we hadn't talked about was if I would move into his place or if he would move into mine. I had the bigger apartment with the extra room for my sister but if I did move in with Jamie she would have to live on campus which I knew she wouldn't want to do or we could get our own place. I had only talked to Lilly since I had been back in the city but she had decided she wanted to move in June instead of July so that meant my family would be in New York next month. Sleep still wasn't happening for me much so I was up most of the night Jamie and I got an early start Friday morning while he was in the shower I was fixing my hair and the whole living situation was still on my mind so I just brought it up I said " Jamie can I say something " he said " yeah go ahead" I said " I don't know how much thought you've given it but I've been thinking about it a lot but where are we going to live your place, my place, or a new place." he said " well we spend more time at your place than we do mine but I love my apartment but a new place sounds good too" I said " what do you think about living here" he said "I would love it its not like I would be moving very far either" I said "okay then its settled that was a lot less painful than I thought" he said " so far none of our conversations have been to painful but one more thing babe " I said "yeah" he said "when ?" I said "well that's something I didn't think about you could move in now or later or after we are married" he said "I don't see any reason why I wouldn't just move now" I said "I don't either." Once we were ready we went to grab breakfast and then headed to my first appointment with my doctor. He said my knee wasn't at 100% yet but I was fine to go back to work and that I did suffer major head trauma but my all reports I was ready to return to work. I had talked to my Psychiatrist and she agreed to also to my psych evaluation while I was in today. I talked to her for an hour and a half and and then she spent about an hour on my psych evaluation she thought I was ready to return to work but she did want to see my 2 times a month for the the next several months. She did think I had PTSD and she thought I probably had it for a long time but it just really started to manifest itself. She changed up my medicine to see if that would help me any, I called to let my Lieutenant know I could return to work on Monday then we went and dropped off all of my releases. Then I called to let Danny know I would be back on Monday he was happy not to have to ride with our Lieutenant anymore. Linda text me and asked if we wanted to come over for dinner the boys were going to stay at a friends for the night. Jamie and I decided to go I felt like I hadn't seen them in forever. It was good to see Danny and Linda that night I had missed them we played catch up. After dinner the boys cleaned up and Linda and I sat in the living room and talked about the wedding. We stayed over there for a long time we finally went home around 1030 on the way home Jamie said him and his dad were going fishing in the morning and after he got done we could go to his place and start getting his stuff ready to move and I planned to go shopping with Erin and Linda in the morning.
         We went home and got ready for bed I started my new sleeping medicine and I hoped that it would help well it didn't I just hoped it needed time to get in my system. Around 2 am I got up and went to sit outside I was pretty sure I didn't wake up Jamie. I sat out there for a little while and then i heard the door open and shut I knew it was Jamie he said " Are you still not sleeping?" I said "no I think the medicine just needs time to get in my system" he said "well come inside I'll make us some coffee and we can talk." We went inside and Jamie put the coffee on he said "what's on your mind?" I said " just thinking about these past couple months" he said " do you want to talk about it" I said " yes I just keep thinking about all my my near death experiences with Liam, when Susman took me, and when dad took me. I just keep thinking if Liam had killed me I never would have met you, and then the other two times all I thought the whole time was I hope Jamie finds and I hope I make it home to him. Then I think about my family all the pain my mom is filling right now and the fact she is blaming herself, I hope this doesn't push Mike to start using again, I hope Kaine and Brycen find a healthy way to cope, and Lilly I honestly don't know if she will ever be same. " he said " I don't think any of you guys will ever be the same after what just happened to you guys and then you watched your father get gunned down too. As for you you've had a rough several months but from where I'm standing it seems like slowly things are looking up. I know there are a lot things you have to work through but never forget that I'm right here by your side the whole way." I said " thank you for saying that Jamie" he said " can I say something?" I said "shoot" he said "this will be one of the only things I say about the wedding because well that's all you and you can say no if you want but I've been thinking what if we got married this fall instead of next year I know our whole relationship has been fast but I just want you to be my wife and that's all" I said "I've been throwing the idea around in my head but I didn't know if you would be on board. I am definitely up for that if you are." he said "okay if we go with the last week of October or the first week of November that would give you almost exactly 6 months to plan it " I said "now to find a venue that is not completely booked up then" he said " I have faith in you baby you find it and plan our dream wedding" We stayed up talking until around 5 when Jamie went to get ready to meet his Dad for fishing. I knew my Mom was working this Saturday and I knew she would be up right now so I called her. We talked about my doctors appointments, about me going back to work, the wedding , my brothers and sister, and Lilly moving I knew Mom wasn't ready for her youngest to move out but it was happening soon. I got ready around 7 I was meeting Erin and Linda for breakfast at 830 and then we were going shopping. We all sat down for breakfast Erin wanted to see my ring I told her about everything that had been going on. We talked more about the wedding I told them around the time we wanted to get married and I asked them to be my bridesmaids. I had planned to do a gift box for each person I was going to ask to be in the wedding but I hadn't had the chance to make them they said yes . This was something else Jamie and I had talked about who would be in our wedding my maid of honor would be Aspyn and bridesmaids were going to be Lilly, Chelsea, Kaylee, Erin, and Linda Jamie's best man was going to be Pops and his grooms men were going to be Danny, Anthony Renzulli, Mike, Kaine, and Brycen and our ushers would be Sean and Jack. Erin said " the burning question is are you going to get married in a Catholic Church or letting aCatholic Priest marry you guys I know your not Catholic but we are all wondering?" I said " I haven't gotten that far yet I know that will be something I have to give a good bit of thought before I make a decision but my dream has always been for my papaw to marry me" Linda said " I don't think it should matter who marries you guys as long as you get married after everything you guys have been through separately and together." We had a great morning shopping I headed home around 1 to meet Jamie at his place he would be getting rid of and storing some of his stuff just because I already had furniture and all that stuff at my place but we did have to pack it all up either way.