I am his, and he his mine • cmbyn (DISCONTINUED)

☼five☼

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My normally soft and comforting bed felt hard and unwelcoming. I twisted and groaned but I couldn't find a spot that didn't feel like rocks. Maybe it was because of the conversation Oliver and I had a few hours ago. I obviously was unhappy with the way it ended, but I couldn't do anything about it now.

What would I do? Bust in his room and yell "I LOVE YOU TOO!" With his innocent wife sitting right next to him? Nope.

I couldn't think of much else to do, so I started on my way downstairs towards my piano. It was around 1:00 am at this point so no one was going to be around to hear my somber music.

•

I closed the doors to the living room so I wouldn't disturb anyone who was asleep. I shuffled over to the piano and laid my fingers on some keys.

Closed my eyes

Took a deep breath

Back straight

And I Played.

The notes always seemed so natural to me. I could play in my sleep if I wanted. My fingers glided over every key, feeling every single one with delicacy. I didn't miss a single note. It was never out of tune. It was never anything but perfect. Like it always is.

I heard a distant clap clap clap come from behind me and I quickly wiped the tears off my cheeks that I hadn't even known fell.

Was it oliver? If so i could tell him what I should have told him a few hours ago. I could tell him what I've been thinking nonstop about since he arrived.

I quickly spun around, just about to spill my guts out, then I swallowed my words when I saw who it was.

Lisa.

Her dark hair was messy and out of place and she held her heels in her hands. Her dress was messed up in several places, some places were unbuttoned and others stretched out a tad. What had she gotten into?

"Very good, Elio," her words were not slurred as I imagined they would be. She didn't seem drunk.

"Thanks," I mumbled

"What are you doing up so late? Isn't it passed your bed time?" She was making a baby joke. Does she not realize I'm only about 4 years younger than her? She walked over to the couch and plopped down.

"I could say the same about you, we missed you at dinner," I don't actually think anybody did miss her at dinner. It was quiet, for once. At least, I know I didn't miss her. But I wanted to be polite.

"Heh," she laughed and directed her eyes to her heels that were now sitting in her lap, "I went to dinner at some restaurant that was quite good, then I had a drink, and one drink turned to two, then three, and so on. And I didn't want to show up at your lovely house plastered so I just decided to walk around town a little and sober up. And now I'm half drunk and probably not going to remember this in the morning, so-" she grunted and got up from the sofa, " I bid you ado," she tipped her imaginary hat and stumbled up the stairs, leaving me alone again.

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I was now back in my bed, that was to my dismay, still uncomfortable. So I could have just walked into his room and tell him. Lisa wasn't even home. He could have been awake still, thinking that I hated him or something. He could have been waiting for me. And I left him waiting.

Shit.

•

The next morning at breakfast he didn't pay any attention to me and seemed to be more affectionate with his wife than I've ever seen him before.

He played with her hair, he held her hand, they shared playful glances with one another. Every single little action tore my heart slowly apart. I tried to ignore them and imagine Oliver staring at me, not paying any attention to Lisa.

I didn't feel like eating once the food got served so I just fiddled with it on my plate. I hated this feeling, but when it comes to oliver, I've grown accustomed to it.

Abandonment.

He seems to abandon me a lot. I know the first time wasn't his choice and that he had to leave but it still left me feeling empty.

But today, he was doing it on purpose. He was purposefully messing with me. Did he want me to hurt? Probably. Who knows how bad he hurt after last night. Or maybe he was trying to convince himself that he loved Lisa more than me. Or that he in fact he didn't love me at all and it's always been Lisa.

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I excused myself early from breakfast and left for the lake. I wasn't going to put up with his shit right now. My heart was hurting and I needed some space, but he was suffocating me in regret. Regret of last night. Regret of not running back to him. Regret, regret, regret.

At the lake I was alone, to my surprise. I expected to see at least a few people I recognized, since the weather was so nice, but I was all alone. I actually preferred this. I would much rather being alone than being suffocated ,yet again, by people I didn't want to be around.

I Laid down on the ground taking in the sun rays. I could hear the bugs buzz around me and I started to feel a little sweaty. I grabbed my Walkman, slipped on the headphones and played some Mozart before falling into sleep.

•

I woke up what must have been only 45 minutes later to foot steps heading my way. The grass rusted under whoever's feet it was and I just stayed still, pretending to still be asleep.

"Elio?" It was Marzia. The last person I expected it to be

My eyes shot open and saw her peering over me, "hey," she giggled and went to sit by me.

"Hm," I hummed back at her, sitting up.

•

Okay so crap chapter but it was really just a filler. Next one we get a Elio-Marzia convo and the rest I haven't planned out but it's going to be long I hope!!

Okay that's it, sorry this chapter was painful to read.

Xoxo