I am his, and he his mine • cmbyn (DISCONTINUED)

☼eight☼

Hey everybody, it's your girl, skinny penis.
So with every chapter i write I listen to music and normally the music heavily inspires the writing. And I think if y'all listen to the same stuff I do while writing you might be able to love the chapter a little more! So if I made a playlist on sound cloud should y'all listen to it while reading?
Let me know so I can make a playlist if y'all want it!! And maybe you could go back and read the chapters with the music to give it a new meaning or something deep that that???
Lmao idek but really tell me what y'all think of the playlist thing cuz I'd be happy to make one :))
(Also I've started to put some pictures on the top thingy cuz I like the way that looks :-))

•

The sun was setting and I was laying in the grass inhaling the wild lavender that was growing in patches around my mothers well kept yard.

I still hadn't said anything to oliver. Every time I would approach him I would get clammy and nervous. What was wrong with me? I was never like that with him. We were always open with each other and he was a open book while I was shut with a lock with a thrown away key.

I wanted to cry

I wanted to scream

I wanted to rip away at my skin

And then I wanted him to fix me.

I wanted him to kiss my boo-boos and tell me it was going to be alright.

But Lisa was in the way. And she was always going to be there. They were going to grow old together and eventually they would both forget about me and crema. I would fade a away bit by bit and he would make new memories with Lisa. They would have a child, then grandchildren, maybe even great-grandchildren.

Have they called each other by their names?

Had Oliver been Lisa?

Had Lisa been Oliver?

Was that now "their thing"?

Or did he keep that to himself? Did he keep that little secret in his pocket and never take it out when they were together?

•

That night at dinner Oliver took it down a notch with Lisa. He wasn't as touchy but Lisa was going at him full force. She was pushing him playfully, she was trying to feed him some of her food but he just sat there, elbows on the table, and hands folded, staring at me.

He wouldn't break eye contact, I would look back at him but he kept his gaze. I would even mouth "what?" But he never responded he just kept staring, staring, staring.

Was he having a fucking stroke?

Eventually he starting talking to my father about one thing or another and once his gaze fell I immediately wanted it back staring at me. Although, I did relax a tad when he stoped staring.

•

After dinner my parents suggested me to Play a piece on the piano. I didn't want to, I never want to. But I always play, even if I fight for a little bit, I always end up playing.

I walked over to the piano while my family and Oliver and Lisa followed me, not far behind. I sat on the piano bench and rested my fingers on the piano before playing ever so gracefully.

Debussy, Arabesque No. 1

I wanted to impress Oliver. I wanted him to think I had gotten better since last summer. I wanted him to think how much more talented I was than Lisa.

Once the song was over I looked over to them and saw them smiling lightly and clapping.

I stretched and told them I wanted to get some rest and headed up to my room.

•

Not long after I sat down in my room to write some more music I heard the door open slightly.

"Liar," Oliver.

I whipped around and my heart sunk at his face. He closed the door behind him and walked closer to me and looking at my room, inspecting it.

"You changed it up, I haven't been in here since..." he trailed off and looked to me.

"Yeah," I shrugged, "I like change," I redirected the conversation back to my room.

"Mhm," he didn't pay much attention to me and just continued to wonder around my room. He was getting on my nerves, did he want something or was he here to purposely mess around with my feelings? Because every step he took my heart would ache and my hands would try to reach out and touch him, but I restrained them and kept my cool.

"Did you need something?" I asked and he sat on my bed, our bed.

"No, I just wanted to be with you. Is that alright?"

Of course it's alright Oliver, would you like to sleep here too? "What about Lisa, wouldn't you rather be with her?"

A long silence. Had I said something wrong? Her name was Lisa right? Oh please tell me her name was Lisa.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

"I'd rather not right now," he was staring at his hands and shifted uncomfortably.

"Why not?" I pressed. I knew I shouldn't have but I didn't care. I wanted to make him uncomfortable.

"She cheated," he shrugged like it was nothing.

"Oh my god Oliver, I'm so sorry," I didn't know really what to do so I rushed over to him and sat beside him on our bed.

"Heh," he laughed deeply, "don't be, I'm not upset really,"

"Oh?" He wasn't upset?

"Are you surprised?" He was confused. Should I have known he was going to be fine with his wife cheating?

"W-well, Yeah a little," I didn't know what to say. I felt like I was fucking it up with every word I said.

"Your right you know. You don't know anything about the things that matter," and with that, he kissed me. Oliver kissed me.

His soft lips molded into mine, like they were created for each other. He ran his hands in my hair and He straddled me underneath him all without breaking contact.

We were in sync and we both wanted each other. This wasn't a fast kiss, he was slow, he kissed me as if I were the last chocolate he were to ever taste. He kissed me like it was the first time.

He laughed into my mouth and gave me one last kiss before he hopped off and started out the door. Was that it?

"Wait," I said and reached out for his wrist

"Yes, Oliver?" He called me oliver. I felt paralyzed and weak. Like I didn't have the strength to hold a pencil.

"I-I uh," my face went red and I started to fumble, "I love you too," I just needed him to know. And this seemed like the perfect time to say something.

He smiled and walked back to his place on the bed. "I know," and he kissed the tip of my nose and left.

He left me there on my bed.

Like I hadn't been waiting for that moment for a year.

Traitor.

•

:-)

Xoxo