Spooky Time (Creepy Harem)

I must axe you a question

Y/N sighed, drawing his blade. Tabby swung her axe, Y/N ducking under the swing and grabbing the hilt. Tabby kicked his chest and sent him back a bit, Y/N spun his blades around in his hand, energy rushing through his body, the excitement of a fight.

"You're lucky I don't have my bayonet." He said happily.

Tabby chuckled a bit. "Oh please, like that could touch me."

Y/N flipped forward, bringing his blade down over her head, only for her to raise her axe to the blade, resulting in a loud cracking noise.

Tabby's cocky smirk was stuck on her face as she whipped around, the back of the axe blade hitting Y/N across the face. He saw stars as he staggered, Tabby lowered her axe.

"Be thankful I'm not trying to kill you, or you'd be dead for sure." She said, stalking over to him.

She reached out to grab him when Y/N's blade shot into her stomach, cutting through the flesh, just narrowly missing all the vital organs.

"And you're lucky I feel the same way." Y/N hissed, "if I had aimed just a bit lower, this knife would've punctured organs you can't live without." He shoved her backwards, pushing the blade through her body.

Tabby started laughing as he removed the knife. "Heh, you think I'm done with you?"

"For now." Y/N said, wiping the blood off with his shirt.

Tabby threw the axe at him, and he ducked, the weapon sticking into the tree behind him.

"Too slow." Y/N said.

"Not my intention." Tabby grinned, and with a sudden groan, the tree fell backwards, and a long hanging branch whacked Y/N upside the head, sending him down to the ground in a daze.

"Fuck..." he muttered, holding his head in his hands.

Tabby clutched her stomach, the blood oozing between her fingers. She unsteadily moved towards Y/N, reaching out once more to grab his arm. Then, two daggers whizzed past her face, one cutting her nose. She turned to see a pale woman leap towards her, tackling Tabby to the ground.

Y/N shook his head, feeling woozy. Tabby retreated, muttering curses under her breath as the woman watched.

"...Jess?" Y/N said, his vision darkening.

The woman said nothing, she kicked him in the head, knocking him out.

Y/N woke up in a hammock, his knife sheathed beside him. The woman was sitting beside the fire. At first glance she looked like Jess, the pale skin and black hair. But she was different. She didn't wear the white hoodie, and the 'smile scars' weren't there. Her eyes were black as coal, and they were emotionless.

"I am not Jess." She said aloud, noticing him. "You asked, didn't you?" Y/N rolled off the hammock and walked up beside her.

"Um, so you're not related to her?"

"No."

"Oh good, because if the author says we're gonna be fucking later along with Jess, this might be slightly incestuous."

The woman chose to ignore that statement. "I am Jane, if it pleases you." She said, raising her hands to warm them. "You have a home nearby?"

"Yeah, with a psychopath, a shape shifter, and two ghosts."

"When you live here long enough, you get used to that stuff." She said, her eyes watching the blaze. "So, shall we be off?"

"'We?'"

"Well, I can hardly expect you to travel by yourself after you've been targeted by Slender."

"Slender?"

"The most powerful of us all." Jane replied.

"...that doesn't help."

"Well, just don't run into her. You met one of her proxies, Ticci Tabby."

"Uh... what is a proxy exactly?"

"Her servants. They do her bidding. She imprints in them, and eventually they go insane and join her. Weak minded people turn easier than strong minded."

"You sure know a lot."

Jane glanced at him. "Well, if one is going to survive out here you have to have some info on the world around you."

"So... can you tell me about who I'm bunking with?"

"Sure, what are their names?"

"SkinWalker, Salad Fingers, Sally, and Benny."

"Hmm..." Jane put a finger to her lips. "I know the SkinWalker and Sally, but the other two I've never heard of. Where did you find them?"

"Salad Fingers was wandering around, and I freed Benny from a Majora's Mask cartridge."

"Oh well, anyway, the SkinWalker was a legend spread through the SouthWestern US, of witches who could change shape. As you've seen, most of the legend is accurate, except for their true forms. No one has ever seen one's true form. Sally is a passive ghost who was abused as a child. Because of this scarred mind of hers, she's always had a mind similar to a child's. She looks for a playmate of sorts."

"Me..." Y/N muttered.

Jane nodded. "Most of the creatures here fall into three categories: Otherworldly creatures, ghosts, and serial killers."

"Which one are you?"

"A serial killer of course." Jane said simply.

"Huh..."

"Yeah, and I assume you are one too?"

"Actually, escaped criminal/mercenary/ex-serial killer."

Jane nodded, "sounds like you've had some experience with the craft."

"Yeah."

"Well, shall we go home?"

"Aren't we at your house?"

"Why would I keep living in the wide open forest when I just learned there's a safe cave over there?  Of course I'm moving in with you."

Hey author! Aren't you typing an ending?

What? I was playing Enter the Gungeon.

I asked if you were gonna write and ending?

Do it yourself.

Fine. Uh... bye?