A Pleasant Little Conversation

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Tabby crossed her arms. "And? How are we doing that?"

"This is my territory!" Jackie said, pointing at a Camp Crystal Lake sign that was conveniently visible for all to see.

"Then maybe you shouldn't let one of your victims get targeted by the Boss." Tabby replied.

"I can't help that!" Jackie whined.

"Then I can't help you." Tabby shrugged.

"...fine. If I can't kill any of them, I'll just have to kill you." Jackie leapt forward, a machete in hand.

Tabby smirked and stepped to the side, grabbing her arm as Jackie hit the ground, and twisted it.

"You ain't on the list, girlie, and you may have some future use for the Boss. How about you go back to your little hidey-hole and stay there until we finish our job?" Tabby whispered in her ear.

Jackie shoved her away and swung her machete at Tabby, who ducked under it and slashed at her with a hatchet. Jackie dodged barely, and then spun around, kicking Tabby in the face, sending her glasses flying.

Tabby staggered back a bit, but reached into her hoodie and pulled out another hatchet.

"Y/N, go finish the job. I'll handle her here." Tabby ordered, but he had already left.

Y/N was currently being dragged through the forest by the Xenomorph.

"Uh where are we going?" He asked her.

She shrieked in response, but didn't say anything.

Well, she literally can't speak, so I don't know what I was expecting.

The Xenomorph hissed at him, and pinned him against a tree.

"Oh... you know, I'm glad we made you humanoid, because otherwise I would probably not enjoy this." Y/N commented, establishing this fact for the audience.

The alien's claws ripped through his clothing.

Aw great, now the author has to yadda-yadda-yadda me getting more clothes when the lemon scene is over.

I know, right? Being an author is tough.

Shut up.

Anyway, so the alien kissed him, forcing her inner tongue/mouth thing-

Wait, why'd you let her keep that part?

Because I can.

If this thing bites my tongue off, I'm gonna strangle you.

You can't do that.

Watch me.

-into his mouth.

Probably the most bizarre frenching I think I'll ever experience...

And while that was happening, her other hand started stroking him off.

I'm a little scared. If I pop her cherry, does her acid blood melt my dick off?

...

ANSWER MEEEEEEE!!!

When he was sufficiently hard, she slammed her hips down, engulfing his dick inside of her.

...no acid blood... phew.

Yeah, I don't think the readers would enjoy it if you lost your dick.

Then why didn't you answer me?

It was funny to listen to you panic.

You're a real asshole, you know that?

The Xenomorph hissed, her tail stabbed into the tree, a few inches away from Y/N.

"Please don't stick me with that thing." He asked politely as she began humping him.

The experience was weird, I would even say it was Alien.

Badum-tsh.

Thank you, thank you.

It wasn't that funny.

But it wasn't unpleasant. Her walls hugged him tightly, her juices making him a little nervous, but they didn't do anything damaging to him.

When she finally separated from the kiss, Y/N was pretty scarred from being french kissed by the Xenomorph, and his expression showed it.

The Xenomorph tilted her head, confused by his reaction.

Y/N came into the Xenomorph after a little while.

Hooray! More face-huggers!

And the Xenomorph let him go, hissing softly at him as the author magically created clothing for him to put on.

As he did this, he heard a branch crack, and he turned around to find...

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