IS REAL

Calling a friend

Roughly an hour later Gun's phone rang. The caller ID displayed: Newwie.
- Atthaphan, what the fuck has just happened?! - exclaimed the boy on the screen hiding his face in his hand.
- Oooh, you're calling me by my real name. Something serious indeed must've happened. - Gun smiled.
- Help me, please! - whined New.
- Okay, always, P'Newwie, but I just hope it isn't something that needs my immediate assistance, because I'm currently not in the state to leave the bed.
- What? Are you all right? - New asked worried.
- I'm great. - Gun smiled - But I'm kind of gaining back my energy now. - he giggled.
- I don't understand. - New wrinkled his brow. Gun moved the phone to show Off napping by his side shirtless.
- Do you really want to know the details? - Gun smirked.
- O-Oh. No, I don't. - New got shy realising what Gun meant. - If I'm interrupting I can call later.
- No, no. It's okay. Tell me what is it!
- Well, I've just had the strangest conversation in my life and I don't know what to do. You're the only person I can talk to about it.
- Conversation with who?
- Tawan.
- Hey, whatever he said, don't jump into conclusions, okay?
- But there's no place for any! - New said. - He... He asked... Well, not really asked. He decided we should be boyfriends!
- What? Are you serious?! - Gun was shocked. - Is HE serious?!
- Yeah, I asked the same thing many times while we talked. And apparently he is. Actually I already agreed to that...
- P'New, what the fuck? You were crying about your one sided feelings for him just yesterday! - Gun sat up.
- I know! He said many things, but mainly he was angry I'm hiding who I'm in love with and he said I should forget about that person if they make me unhappy, because he doesn't like that and he said he wants to make me happy, because I make him happy and when I said I can't forget that person, because it's him I'm in love with, he basically said we have to be boyfriends, because he wouldn't be able to stand the thought of me being with anyone else. - New inhaled heavily. - What do I do now?
- First, calm down. - Gun shook his head couple of times overwhelmed with all the informations. - Second, what do you mean, what do you do? Isn't it what you wanted?
- I know, but after months of denying myself even thinking about the possibility to be more than friends, I'm suddenly in this new situation.
- Are you home now?
- Yeah.
- And P'Tay?
- He dropped me at my place and went back to his.
- That's odd... - Gun opened his eyes widely - Shouldn't you guys like, spend some time together? I don't know. Talk everything out or something? How did the whole confession ended?
- He wanted to kiss, but I freaked out and then when he gave me a lift, I guess, he freaked out and he just went home and I did too.
- Sounds complicated. - Gun sighed with a frown that seemed to say "What the heck?".
- Yeah, I know, that's why I'm bothering you. I don't know what should I do now. - New looked as anxious as anyone could've been in his place. Gun took his time thinking about this unexpected turn of events.
- Go and get him, 'cause he is a thick head. - said Off showing his sleepy face from above Gun's shoulder. He has heard most of their conversation since he had woken up when Gun was voicing his shock rather loudly earlier.
- Hello, mate, sorry for disturbing, but I have a bit of a crisis here as you've surely heard already. - New apologised honestly feeling like he was intruding.
- 's all right. - Off mumbled cuddling his boy from behind. New thought that he is like a completely different person when his guard is down while being alone with Gun. It was amazing to see.
- I think Papii is right. If he already mentioned it, you should just go for it and kiss him. You've already agreed to be his boyfriend, right? It's better to cross the line physically too. I mean, clearly, you both want it, so don't make things awkward by hesitating.
- But it already is awkward. It all happened so suddenly. - New complained.
- I think not that suddenly. - Off added. - I would say he was into you for quite some time. You was just too busy hiding your own infatuation to notice. - he yawned.
- That's possible. - Gun laughed.
- Easier said than done. - New pouted.
- Not true. - Gun smiled mischievously and turned in Off's arms to face him. - Let me show you how to do it. - he adjusted the camera to get both of them in the shot and touched his nose to Off's  smiling. The other boy peaked at him from behind his heavy eyelids and smiled a bit too. He couldn't care less if New was watching or not. He was in a mood too good not to yield to the temptation of Gun's lips. They moved forward at the same time joining their lips together in a gentle kiss. Newwie watched them mesmerised. They were just too good together. The kiss was so loving and natural it almost hurt to watch it. Jealousy flooded him to the point he considered disconnecting the call, but before he decided to do so Gun was looking at him amused. New blushed and looked away.
- P'New, you can do it. - Gun cheered grinning. - You've kissed him before after all.
- Yeah, but it was for work purposes. It's not the same!
- You have to take the initiative. - Off said matter of factly.
- Me? - New was surprised.
- Yeah, not Tay, I assume, since he is a bottom. - Off answered.
- He is?!?
- As far as I know. - Off shrugged.
- Is it save to ask how the fuck do you know?? - New replied incredulously.
- It is. - Off smirked - He told me himself one drunken night. - he stuck his tongue out.
- Fuck. I'm so done. - uttered New hiding his face in his hand again.
- Do you like this piece of information? - Off asked amused.
- I like it too much. - New whined red on the face.
- Oooh~. - Off smirked even more. - Things might get interesting pretty soon. - he said and New rolled his eyes at him.
- Why are you so good at dirty jokes, but you're so shy when someone as much as mentions Gun and you? - New mocked back.
- Shut up. - Off gave up.
- There's one more thing I wanted to say to you both though. - New changed his tone for more meek. - About Tawan's teasing. He doesn't really mean anything bad by it.
- We were not taking it seriously. Don't worry. - Gun said.
- I know, but I also want you to know that when we were trying to figure out if you two were together yet or not, he was the one who was shipping you the hardest. - New smiled.
- He is sweet. - Gun giggled. - We're shipping you too, you know? - he grinned.
***
Work was busy the next couple of weeks. It was already September and their schedules were not going together as much as they would like to.
- Papii, maybe I should not go to Korea. Maybe I can do something else for my birthday. - Gun said one day when they were at the office doing this and that, but mostly just passing the time between meetings. Recently it was rare they were there together not at some job out of town or separate filming sets, so they were enjoying the time too.
- What? Are you sick, or something? Do you want to give up all that shopping? - Off joked.
- Papii, I'm being serious!
- Okay, okay, but you should go. - Off replied. - Everything is settled and you shouldn't just ditch your friends.
- But I'd prefer to go there with you. - he pouted childishly.
- You know I've got work and it's the only time you have a clear schedule. Go enjoy it. - Off patted Gun's head smiling. - Besides, you'll be back for your actual birthday, so it's not like I'm gonna miss it.
- But you're working on the day of my birthday and the day of my birthday event too.
- We can do something fun around that time. Don't worry.
- All right. Sorry for being difficult. - Gun sighed. - I don't really want anything big. Just the time with you is all I want. That's why I'm complaining. We're so busy recently. - Gun looked upset.
- We're gonna film Our Skyy soon. - Off reminded - You will be sick and tired of me then. - Off nudged the younger boy in the side.
- I doubt it. - Gun said. - Am I being too clingy? - he added jokingly.
- Publicly, yes. - Off pursed his lips in a funny way - But it's also my fault, because I can't say no to you.
- I have to try to tease you more then. Or spend some more time with other people at work. - Gun smirked.
- What people?
- I don't know? Like Tay and New, Krist? Chimon and so on.
- Do you want to make me jealous? - Off wrinkled his brow.
- Are you jealous? - Gun grinned.
- No, as long as they don't audaciously flirt with you.
- Come on, they don't. - Gun giggled.
- Maybe you see it that way, but I can see through them. They are just smitten with your ridiculous cuteness and waiting for me to be away, so they can be all over you. - Off frowned. The younger boy laughed hugging him. He got a bit stiff in his arms and pretended he is looking at something on his phone. Gun looked around, because someone must've entered the room if the other boy acted that way. It was just Godji, so Gun flashed her a smile and returned to nuzzling and placing little pecks on Papii's neck.
- Oooh! - Godji squeaked. She was delighted. - My eyes hurt from your sweetness. Have you ever kissed someone that much before? - She asked Gun.
- No, never before. - he shook his head looking up at her, a blissful expression on his face.
***
It seems people around them started to notice Off and Gun are even closer than before. If anyone asked they still answered they are really close brothers, because there was always a chance someone sneaky from the staff members might be taking a video and they wanted to avoid too much attention. Godji knew the truth, because she was like a mother to them and she could be trusted not to post something inappropriate even if by a mistake. She said she was not surprised they ended up together and joked it was good for their ship. She also advised them that if anyone doubted their relationship they should just call it a fan service and they'll be safe. She was right. If not for the OffGun ship they would be exposed pretty quickly and in the show business world it wouldn't be a good thing. That's why both of them appreciated their fans so much. Thanks to them sailing the OffGun ship they could be together almost freely.
It was hard missing each other sometimes though. On the occasions they were working together like for the School Rangers or some other program it was exciting, because more often than not meeting on set was the first time they met after days of being apart. The videos of Gun kissing Papii's neck quickly became a thing, but Gun indulged, because Off's smell was his absolutely favourite thing he couldn't live without. It was a relatively safe thing too, since he had said once before he likes it, because P'Off smelled like a baby to him. It was a big bullshit obviously, but there was no way Gun could even hint at the fact Papii's smell turned him on and that it was his number one kink. He was often wondering how anyone still believed it was just an innocent thing.
When Gun was spending his holidays in Korea he went with his friends that were girls only. Papii teased him that it was the gayest thing ever, but he invited just the female part of his friends, because they were his closest. And it accidentally added the convenience of Papii not getting jealous. Spending time with girls was nice and it put him at ease. Although they were teasing him about the money he got as an early birthday present from Off. They called Off his sugar daddy, but strangely Off was all right with it. Gun had to admit to himself that it made him feel good seeing the girls envy him his man. Otherwise than that Off seemed not that much interested in his birthday. The money was a generous gesture, but it seemed they won't even see each other on the actual date of his birth and when Gun asked about it Off just said that he has work and there is nothing they can do about it. Gun knew he shouldn't be too needy, but still he felt a tiny bit sad.
***
Sometimes Gun tend to forget how attractive he was. It was easy to forget, because he was constantly around many other attractive people and he rather saw himself as too childish or dorky to be what people usually considered handsome. During this trip he got hit on several times. He just ignored it, but the girls snapped some slightly embarrassing IG stories. There was this time they were at a club and a group of boys was checking him out quite obviously. Then the waiter approached him with a tray of different drinks saying that every single man from the table across the room wanted to buy him a drink. "Ooh, Atthaphan, which one you gonna choose? You're so popular, it's not fair." his friends said. He was flattered, of course, and maybe a year ago he would have responded positively to that, but he wasn't feeling like flirting with anyone. He accepted all of the drinks giving one to each of the girls and asked the waiter to pass the information that he is taken. "What happened to you? Rejecting such handsome boys?!" the girls wondered, but he wasn't feeling like explaining.
***
GunGun: Papii, are you asleep yet?
Papii: No. - he replied after good ten minutes.
GunGun: Can I call?
Papii: P'Yui just messaged me saying she has something important to discuss, so I'll be calling her now. Maybe tomorrow, okay?
GunGun: Oh, I see. I'm going to bed then. Good night, Papii.
GunGun: I miss you. - he added after three minutes of the older one not responding.
Papii: Good night? Aren't you out with your friends? I saw their posts on IG.
GunGun: No, not tonight. I said I was not feeling well, so I stayed.
Papii: Are you not feeling well?!?
GunGun: No, don't worry. I just wasn't feeling like going out tonight.
Papii: Oh, okay. Good night then.
Gun read the last message and waited a bit more, but nothing more was sent to him. He didn't know what he was expecting, but maybe some "I miss you too"? He was away more than a week already and he couldn't stop having a feeling like Papii was somehow distant. He knew the other boy wasn't very keen on sharing his feelings, but no one was reading their chat, so there was no need to be reserved. But on the other hand there was no reason to be too affectionate either. Off was pretty busy with work too, but still it made him feel neglected and guilty to feel like that at the same time...
Gun didn't want to go out, because of the situation the day before. Being hit on by someone only reminded him how lonely he was feeling without Papii by his side. He was not telling Off about it, because he was afraid he was too needy. He couldn't talk about it with his friends, because they didn't know about them, since Gun decided the less people knew the better. He tried to message their manager what was the matter she contacted Papii about, but she said it was nothing important and he should enjoy his trip instead of thinking about work. The weirdest thing was that she said Papii didn't call her tonight contrary to what Off had told him. Gun's heart felt heavy after that. Why did he lied to him? Was he doing something he didn't want Gun to know? Was he with someone and not telling him? This stupid trip. He should've stayed home... But then again, even if he stayed what could he do? Watch Papii's every move? Control him? Forbid him to see people? He couldn't do it. He didn't want to do it. He wanted to trust him unconditionally, but even though Off said he loves him and when they are together he can definitely feel the other boy does, at times like today Gun couldn't help but feel insecure. Somewhere inside his mind the fear of not being good enough was always there. Off has had a girlfriend before, he was able to be in a relationship with a woman and that was what was expected from him. That was what was probably better for him. There might come a time he meets someone and fall in love and the need to start a family may be stronger than whatever feelings he has for Gun now. There might come a time Gun will have to let him go even if it will break his heart forever. On a lonely nights like today Gun was kind of trying to get ready for a scenario like that. He tried to imagine what it would be like if he had never met Off. It could save him so much pain in the future, but despite that he was sure not knowing Off would be way worse. He wanted someone to cheer him up, to say whatever just to stop him from thinking all those things. New. He can talk to him. Gun grabbed his phone tapping at New's contact and hoping he will pick up.
***
It was kind of late already and Off just finished sending some e-mails. Among other job related things he was really looking forward to the next Land Of Something x Gente collaboration. They made some cool projects with Gun that he couldn't wait to show their fans.
His phone rang and he picked up quickly thinking it's the manager P'Yui again with some details about a secret meeting for Gun's birthday fans were preparing.
- Jumpol, mate, are you free tonight? - a man on the other side of the line slurred his words.
- Tawan?
- Who else? Of course it's me, your pal. - he said his voice muffled as if he was covering the microphone with something. - Can I come, plizzz?
- Have you been drinking? - Off asked although he was pretty sure he was, remembering how his friend sounds while being tipsy.
- No. Yes. I mean, I started drinking alone and it wasn't the best idea.
- Clearly. - Off retorted.
- C'mon, buddy, let me in.
- In? Where are you?
- In front of your apartment.
- What? - Off exclaimed, but concluded he hasn't got much choice but to let the other boy in. - Okay, come up.
Tay entered Off's flat holding a bag with snacks and beers. Off sighed, but agreed to join his little party. The other boy was beating around the bush, but finally admitted the reason he was drinking was New.
- Just tell me what's the matter. - Off said - I already know he agreed to be your boyfriend. Respect for having guts to confess and ask him straightforwardly, by the way.
- Yeah, I was surprised with myself to be honest.
- You're an idiot like that. - Off snickered.
- It seems it was my only brave moment though.
- Did you kissed? Because when New was calling Gun that day he was worried about both of you freaking out about that.
- New told you about it? - Tay was surprised.
- Not exactly, he was talking to Gun, but I was there at that time so we ended up chatting. The three of us. I think I provided him with some useful information. - Off smirked.
- What did you tell him??
- Did he initiated the kiss after all? - Off ignored the question asking one himself.
- He did, why?
- I kind of suggested it to him. That's all you need to know. - Off said mysteriously.
- You're not telling me anything, are you? - Tay smiled.
- Wait till I finish my second beer. - Off huffed.
- He did kiss me. We were both really nervous and the reason I'm here today is to... I don't know, maybe acquire some useful informations from you myself? - Tay smiled feeling relaxed after drinking the alcohol.
- I'll answer all your questions tonight, but... - Off made a dramatic pause. - But you have to promise to stop constantly mocking me, or at least to not doing it that often. You're getting on my nerves.
- All questions? - Tay wanted to be sure. Off downed the rest of his beverage.
- All questions. - he confirmed - But if you wanted to know about anything New might confided in us I'm not gonna tell.
- Fair enough. - Tay agreed and handed Off another beer. They clinked the cans and drank some more. - I was really happy he said he likes me too and agreed to be with me, but it seems we were focused on pretending to be just best friends for so long it's hard to cross the line now.
- But you said he kissed you. How did it go?
- I liked it a lot, but I can tell he didn't want to do too much, probably afraid to force me or something. But with him I sort of want him to push me down and snog me. I want to be forced in a way. - Tay blushed.
- Yeah, I get it. It was similar with me, but we talk things out a lot with Gun, so he told me pretty early in our relationship that he can lead and I said I'd prefer that at least at the beginning when it was all new for me. Something like that. - Off said embarrassed. - And do you know what else that naughty kid said to me? And it was even before we made out for the first time. - Off said and Tay eagerly awaited the next part. - He said that he is a power bottom.
- Of course he is. - Tay giggled.
- When I heard that, it was such a turn on for me. - Off groaned.
- How far did you go?
- How far? In terms of? - Jumpol asked.
- In terms of sex. - Tay rolled his eyes, because what else could he mean.
- Pretty far until now, apart from the actual penetration. - Off admitted getting red and looking at his can as if it was something interesting.
- Is there a not actual penetration? - Tay laughed.
- I think so. - Off replied - Like fingering, for example.
- You did that? - Tay was suddenly very interested.
- No, he did that to me. - Off got embarrassed again turning the can in his hands, but at the same time he was kind of proud he is now more experienced than Tay and Off wanted him to know.
- So, who is actually the bottom? - Tawan asked confused.
- I think we are both versatile. I mean, I want to try everything with him. No reason to be restricted. - he shrugged nonchalantly.
- How was the first time? Like, the first time you did something including your dicks? - Tay huffed an embarrassed laugh at his own choice of words, but it was the only way to communicate precisely what he meant and he was so curious.
- I never thought you and me would be having a talk about gay sex. - Off giggled feeling the alcohol is making him talk. He was grateful for that otherwise it would be too embarrassing. - It was so good, man. - he smiled dreamily - I really wanted to do it...
- I bet. - Tay smirked.
- Shut up. - Off smiled back. - And I was so tense... Like, you know how awkward I can be, but Gun is always so affectionate and... courageous. He is so much less shy about these things. It was like perfect match for us. He guided me through it, took care of me and I've never felt this good in my life. He helped me open up to it and now we can both enjoy it even more. I advise you to try that as soon as possible. And don't be shy to talk with New about what you want, I'm sure he is waiting for it too.
- You really made me want to go to Newwie right now and say "Take me" or some lame shit like that. - Tay hid his face in his hands groaning. - Off laughed at that.
- You already know you fancy each other, so just cut the crap and go for it.
- I wanna. - Tay nodded his head thinking. - I needed this conversation to know I'm not the only one dealing with that kind of thing. I always knew I was attracted to guys, maybe even more than girls, but I always tried to be more straight than I really am. Now... Since I met Newwie, I see it was stupid.
- You know what I think now? - Off said and Tay eyed him questioningly - I think I'm so gay for this little devil I don't really care if I'm bi or what anymore. I just want him.
- Man, you almost sound romantic now. - Tay teased.
- Fuck off. - Jumpol said, but laughed anyway.
- Did you blow him? - Tay asked out of the blue smirking again.
- Aren't you too nosy? - Off replied amused.
- You said you gonna answer everything! - Tay argued.
- All right, I did. - Off rolled his eyes.
- Did you do anything during our trip? - Tay was enjoying this interrogation.
- Absolutely not. - Off denied and Tawan laughed.
- We booked a double bed for you to make things convenient. - Tay said disappointed.
- Well, thanks. I enjoyed sharing a bed anyway.
- I'm glad to hear that. - Tay smiled.
- I was thinking recently, that being with a guy makes you both more equal. Also when it comes to sex. At least with me and Gun there's no one that gives more or receives more. It made me see sex from another perspective.
- Yeah. I think I understand that. Being with a girl, it is always you as a guy who is expected to be top, to be manly and all that bullshit.
- Exactly. - They both sat for a while engrossed in thoughts and finishing their drinks. - New is serious about you, so open up to him if you are serious too. - Off said speaking from his own experience.
- Of course I am. - Tawan sat up as if it would add more seriousness to his statement.
- Good. Are you staying the night?
- Can I? - Tay smiled cheerfully.
- Yeah, you're drunk.
- Just a bit. - Tawan grinned goofily.
- And not a word to anybody about tonight. - Off warned.
- You don't want anyone to know we're hanging out? - Tay pouted.
- No, jackass, about what we talked about. - Off sighed irritated.
- Oh, that. Of course. Like I would want people to know I was having heart to heart about such things with you of all people! - Tay snickered.