My Little Pinkie Pie - MLP Fanfic

Chapter 21 - Final Goodbyes

It's been a year since Pinkie left, and the only things that have changed are the dates.

I'm still sad and lonely, yet I'm still pushing people away. Josh called six times three days ago, all going to voice mail. He wants to get back with me.

My publisher called two months ago. He said my series could redeem itself if I wrote a short chapter on the next book. I never wrote it. Why should I? Pinkie is gone, I have no real motivation to live.

Nobody really cares. Nobody really cares about me. Nobody cares enough to come visit me. Josh doesn't. He'll just call me names.

Maybe I should just leave now.

I think that as I run a cold bath. I think that when I get in wearing my best party dress and best makeup. If I go, I guess I'll go looking beautiful.

I wonder how long it'll take for someone to find me? Will they find my fleshy body, or my skeleton? Will they ever find me? Or will I just rot away in this bathroom forever?

I grab the fruit knife. It's small and sharp, perfect to do the job with.

I hover it over my left wrist. Just one cut.

Just one cut on each wrist and I'm gone. And when Josh dies, and everyone I knew dies, it'll be as though I'd've never existed.

The pain of losing Pinkie really can't beat any other pain, anyway.

Come on, cut! I should cut! Cut it now!

I lower the knife closer to my skin. Just when it's millimetres away, something from across the room catches my eye. I pause and flick my head towards it.

It's the corner of a brown box on the bottom shelf of the bathroom cupboard. I don't remember putting that there, but something tells me I should go and open it.

I drop the knife in the water. It sinks to the bottom of the bathtub, making a small *chink*. I crawl on the floor towards the box, my soggy dress dripping on the white tiles.

I pick the cardboard box up and open it up slowly, my eyes widening. I see Pinkie's toy alligator, Gummy.

I see the camera she received for her birthday one time. I see the photos printed off and placed neatly in the corner of the box.

I see a Derpy plushie from that awful BronyCon.

I see bubblegum bubble bath mixture.

I see an old, hard, white chocolate chip cookie with smarties in top.

I see a chewed up Loki action figure.

I see Pinkie's cupcake recipe.

I see an old scrubbing brush.

I see my old phone.

I see an ice skate and a pink scarf.

And then I see Pinkie's iPad at the bottom of the box with a sticky note with scribbled writing saying, 'Watch me! Password; 3983"

I turn the iPad on and unlock it. It opens to the Photo Album, with one video in it. I tap on it and it starts to play.

Pinkie is sitting on the bathroom mat, barely holding herself together. She has an empty cardboard box in front of her, with all the things around her. "Mommy," she says, "I'm scared. I admit it, I'm scared. I'm scared of what might happen to me, but mostly, I'm scared of what you might do to yourself when I'm gone. Huh, I didn't even get to finish planning our party. So I decided to, instead of talk about my years with you, I'd like to show you them.

I don't remember much from when I was a filly, but I remember loving this stuff," she holds up the bubble bath. "I remember one time, I messed up the house and we spent the whole day cleaning it. I used these as skates to clean the floors," she giggles sadly at the small scrubbing brush she had in her hoof, and she puts it in the box. "You were so mad at me."

"Speaking of skates, remember that time you taught me ice skating? I was a... What did you call it? Natural! That's it. You got me this scarf and everything, which probably helped!" Pinkie reminisces, lifting up one of her old ice skates. "I only have one left," she chuckles, placing it in the box and nuzzling into her pink scarf, before putting that in the box, too.

She looks back at the camera. "Oh yeah, and when I tried to wrap up winter? Yeah, you recorded it, hahaha," she picks up my old phone and puts it in the box, too.

"Here's my secret cupcake recipe. You don't have to bake it, but I'll never forget it, so you can have it. And I forgot the recipe to those cookies we made a while back, so I left one in here for you," she puts the paper and the old biscuit in the box, then holds up an old, battered camera.

"Josh gave me this for my birthday, remember?" she smiles and picks up the selfie of Josh, Pinkie and I smiling at the camera, Pinkie in the middle. "I printed the photos off. And then how you totally owned that meany bo-beanie girl, too. That was awesome! And yes, I saw that, hahaha!"

"And here's my favourite Marvel character of all, Loki! This was my favourite toy, next to Gummy of course," Pinkie picks up both toys and gives Gummy a big hug, before placing him in the box. "Take good care of him, okay?"

"Oh, yeah, and the Derpy plushie. Hahaha, I don't even know why I'm putting this in here! I guess it just reminds me of the day I got my cutie mark. You were there, remember? When I saw all those people smiling, and knowing that I was doing that made me realise that that was sort of... my destiny, I guess. To make people and ponies happy.

That's why I don't wanna leave you. It will make you sad.

Mommy, I love you. You know that. But I'm not the only pony in your life. So go out and live it! There's no need to stop your life because of me. I'm not saying don't forget me. I won't forget you. But I promise, that things will get better, for my name isn't Pinkamena Diane Pie!

I love you Mommy.

Thanks for making my time here the best it could ever have been!

... I'm not really sure how to end this, hehehe. So I'll end it like this," she takes a deep, shaky breath.

"Do you remember that time we went to Mark's treehouse? Yeah, I haven't forgotten about that. Remember what I said? Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." She waves to the camera and closes the box.

"Goodbye, Mommy. I love you."

A few tears roll down her cheek and the video ends.

I bawl loudly, pressing my forehead against the iPad, not really caring for the last part she said. I have every reason to cry. "Don't leave me!" I shout at the electronic. "Please..."

I sit there for hours, replaying

the video until I've totally memorised it. I miss Pinkie, but she has a point.

I don't need to kill myself. People come and go, some people you let go, some you never do or ever will. So maybe, just maybe, I still have my life to live.

So I guess I'm just going to live it.