Y O U R C R U C I B L E
"May you be in heaven a full half hour before the devil knows you're dead."
Lottie Thorne, sister of the notorious Freddie Thorne, is counted as part of the Shelby family. And her loyalty is...
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"I was a fool"
Lottie was numb as she put on her makeup; James didn't allow her to wear her signature red lipstick, believing it to be unsuitable for a respectable lady of London. She curled her hair into soft ringlets and let it cover the back of her neck where his marks lay. As she finished getting ready, she looked at her reflection in before her and she didn't recognise herself. Her usual bright eyes were dim with sadness and exhaustion, her makeup too formal and her clothes not in her taste. She was staring at a stranger in the mirror. Not herself.
She hated this person. The person who was Lotitia and not Lottie.
All she wanted was to run away like she had done all those years ago, but she was trapped. He had Freddie locked away and so she had to stay.
She closed her eyes as a tear fell down her cheek, longing for home, longing for Michael, for Tommy, for Maxim, John and Arthur. She wanted to be with them. Not here. She'd stopped staring out of the window, searching for Tommy. A glimpse of his hat, a puff of smoke from his cigarette. Why wasn't he saving her? She hated the idea of being a damsel, but she felt like one. She felt like a victim and she hated it. She hated herself.
Quickly wiping all traces of her sadness away, she stood up and left the room, her eyes instantly going towards the door of the attic where Freddie was hidden. The sound of a clearing throat caught her attention. She looked down and saw James standing at the bottom of the stairs in a black suit, his dark hair brushed sleekly back. Forcing the smile she knew was perfect onto her lips, she started the act. The curtains were lifted and she stepped on stage to play Lotitia.
Putting her arm through his, she looked warmly up at him. "You ready?" He asked.
She nodded.
"You know the story, don't you, of what to say if people ask you where you've been?"
"I know what to say," she promised.
***
Lottie barely touched her food as she sat at the table but she smiled, greeted, and talked to those around her. Once the meal ended and people got up to dance, Lottie took the opportunity to go outside. Lottie let the evening go past her in a blur. She didn't want to remember any of it, didn't want to be part of it. Her body felt alien and her mind far gone into itself. It was like she was a ghost, only people could see her. After a while in the cold, smoking a cigarette, Alice, a wife of one of James' colleagues joined her.
"So, Mrs Teel, you are truly a mystery woman," she said, downing her glass of champagne. "James has told us all about you, of course. That you'd been travelling and attending to a poor sick relation."
