Trust In Me: Shawn Mendes ✔️

13

"I know but it wasn't your fault"
Heather Flores

Today is the day of the operation, I have this ritual with Paige and Ness that before every big operation we all meet in my office and drink shots of expresso because we obviously can't drink, then wish the person luck. I don't know how this started but it just did.

I sit in my chair reading up any last bits and Paige giggles. "What is it?" I ask.

"Shawn said 'good luck doc x'" she reads out loud. I reach over grabbing my phone, I lock it and put it in my drawer. "Ladies I have to go now so wish me luck" I stand up walking outside with the pair of them

"Good luck!" They both shout as I walk in to the operation theatre. I double check all the equipment again and read over her files one more time and have a quick talk through with the nurses.

Mrs Stevenson soon gets wheeled in already put to sleep. We begin operating and its all going well, everything is exactly how it should be. Only 4 hours of operating left.

"Scissors" I get handed the scissors.

"Give me stats" I say pulling my mask higher. "Doctor Flores" I hear but I don't have time to look up.

"Light" the light gets moved down. "Doctor Flores heartbeat decrease" I hear.

"It's okay we'll get her going, John stitch her up and get the shockers ready" I say putting the equipment to the side. "Heart rate decreases 23 bpm"

I look seeing the hear monitor beeping slower. I quickly take the stitches finishing it up and grab the shockers. "150" I shout pressing them to her chest.

"Heart decrease 16 bpm" I shock her again.

"Rapid decrease doc!" I shock again looking at her body I pray to the god that the machine begins beeping.

"Flat line!" I hear.

"150 Volts" I shout pressing them to her chest. I see no difference and do it again and again.

"Poppy Stevenson time of death 2:36 pm. Thursday 17th January "

"No, give me 150 again" I yell shocking her body but nothing works. I press two fingers to her wrist and try to feel for a pulse but nothing.

"150 volts!" I yell again.

"Doctor Flores she's gone" I get pulled back gently. I look around putting the shockers back then at Mrs Stevenson. "Tell Mr Stevenson" I say and the nurse nods walking away as the other nurses clean the room and someone rolls her out.

A tear escapes my eye, I sniffle wiping it away then I walk out the room seeing Mr Stevenson. He walks over to me and engulfs me in a big hug. "Thank you for everything Heather" he cries on my shoulder and I let out a sob.

"She was truly amazing and now she's not suffering" I say and he nods then walks away following the nurses.

I walk to my office and sit down taking deep breathes staring straight at the door. My peace is disturbed when someone opens the door.

"Heather do you have the files for Mr Evans?" My dad asks. I wipe my tears and nod getting up walking to my cabinet. I grab the files and give them to him. "Stop sulking around kiddo" he nudges me and walks away. I shut the door and weep even more.

I know everyone must be thinking to be a doctor you need to box off emotions and attachment but when someone dies in your hands it's a feeling so numb and filled with pain.
-
"Come here babe" Spence engulfs me in a hug as I walk in to Cakes N Shakes. I'm guessing Paige filled him in. I hug him back and cry in to his shoulder but I don't just cry for Mrs Stevenson but for myself, the way my dad acted completely broke me.

"Spence she died" I mumble. "I know but it wasn't your fault" he rubs my back.

"There's someone coming in, here sit down next to Matt and we'll go home later" I nod sitting down giving a small smile to Matt.

"Feather it's Shawn" Spence mumbles quickly. I look towards Matt and he passes me a napkin letting me dry my eyes. "Am I good?" I ask him and he nods. "You're good" he smiles at me.

"Hey Heather!" I hear Shawn's sweet voice and feel his hand on my shoulder. I turn in my seat and look down "Hey where's Luna?"

"She's with my mum for the next few days, my mum said she wants to look after her" he shrugs still standing in front of me. "Anyway how did the operation go?"

I see Spence from the corner of my eye telling me to breath and stay calm, Matt rubs my back gently and I feel a knot in my throat then I let out a sob.

Shawn looks down at me confused and immediately hugs me. "You're okay" he tells me rubbing my back soothingly. I cry in to his chest holding on to his scarf.

"Shh Heather, you're okay" he whispers in my ear leaning down wiping my cheeks. I nod and settle my breathing.

"I wanna go home" I get up but Shawn grips my arm as I stumble. "I'll take you home, did you come in your car because I walked here" I nod giving him the keys.

I link my arm around his upper arm holding on to him. "Bye Spence and Matt, I'll call you guys later" I send them a small smile and walk out with Shawn. I lead him to my car and he helps me get in the passenger side and he gets in.

"Okay I need to be really careful driving this thing" he chuckles pressing the start button and begins driving, he keeps a hand on my thigh rubbing it comfortingly as I choke on my own cries a few times but when his hand makes contact with my leg I stop and breath normally.