Twisted Hearts Book 1: The Beauty Tames The Beast

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

There are days when you just want to drown out everything and be by yourself. A day when you take a step back and pretend that life isn't as shitty as it may seem.

It was one of those days.

Maingat kong inilapag ang umuusok na baso ng tsaa sa malaking bato at ipinatong ang aking bag. Tahimik ang lawa. Walang tao. The calm blue-green water is inviting me. Ngunit nanatili lang akong nakaupo.

Mamasa-masa ang lupa dahil kakaulan pa lamang. Hindi na ako nag-abalang magdala pa ng payong dahil sa kamamadali ko. Ang gusto ko lamang ay makaalis sa mansiyon sa lalong madaling panahon at makapunta dito. The school announced earlier that there are no classes because of the teacher's conference. Gusto ko mang kausapin si Isla ngayong araw ay isinantabi ko na muna ito at nagpunta sa lawa.

Huminga ako nang malalim. My mother raised me alone and in our household, I am free to do any of my desire. She let me run around like a wild cub and pulls me back into the cage whenever it's necessary. At least I still had my freedom back then.

But it's not like that anymore. It's like my mother imprisoned me in a cage I didn't even like in the first place.

Kinuha ko ang mainit na baso ng tsaa'ang binili ko pa sa convenience store. I paid an additional amount for the hot water and the mug they lent to me. Ibabalik ko din naman pagkatapos.

Sumimsim ako mula sa baso at pinagmasdan ang lawa sa aking tapat. Gusto ko talagang maligo pero alam kong sobrang lamig ngayon lalo pa't kakaulan.

Tumingala ako sa medyo makulimlim pang langit. I like my silence. In fact, I value silence so much that I shut other people just so I could enjoy it. Kaya pakiramdam ko ay nasu-suffocate ako sa mansiyon dahil halos araw-araw ay may mga bago kaming mga bisita.

My mother even tried to introduce me to some of the governor's elite friends. Pero nawalan din ako ng interes. I hate small and nonsense conversation. I want someone to show me their soul, not just the skin. And I could never find it in elegant parties from people wearing expensive gowns and tuxedos.

I found it in a blind teenage boy.

Napangiti ako nang maalala si Alas. What could he be doing right now? As much as I wanted to see him right now, gusto ko munang mapag-isa. Mag-isip isip...

What would life be if my mother introduced my father to our family? Maybe one of the reasons why I longed for boys and the relationships they could give me is because I lack the father figure in our household. Gusto kong maranasan na mayroong tatay. Gusto kong maranasan kung paano niya ako ipagtanggol kapag umiyak ako sa first heartbreak ko. O kung paano niya pagbabantaan ang una kong nobyo.

My lips trembled at the thought. Ano ba naman ang pinag-iisip mo, Isabelle? I sipped from my cup again, trying to calm myself. Moments like this made me wonder about so many things in life... isa na doon ang aking ama.

Nang maubos ko na ang laman ng baso ay inilapag ko ito sa bato. I pulled some of my spare clothes from my bag. Inilatag ko ito sa mamasa-masang damuhan at nahiga. I placed my arms over my eyes and before I knew it, I fell asleep.

---

Nang magising ako ay masakit ang batok at leeg ko. the dark sky greeted me when I opened my eyes. Kaagad akong bumangon at muntik nang atakihin sa puso nang makita kong may lalaking nakaupo sa harap ng lawa at nakatalikod sa akin.

Before I could do something stupid, I realized that it was just Leon. Napahinga ako nang maluwag. The nape of his neck and his broad back is so familiar to me. Suot pa rin niya ang kulay itim na sweater kanina nang magkasalubong kami sa hagdanan.