The Way She Is

Chapter 8 ~ A Shallow Grave To Stay Safe

Chapter 8 ~ A Shallow Grave To Stay Safe

How long he waited in that small and decrepit bus shelter he didn't like to think, but the longer he was there, the more time he had to think, something Phil wasn't good at controlling. The second the silver car glided into view, he was up off of the bench, bag slung lazily over his right shoulder. As it pulled up into the bus lane, the passenger side window rolled down and a young man with dark glasses perched atop his nose peered up at Phil, who grinned.

"Need a ride, hot-shot?" The guy in the car asked seductively, letting the glasses fall slightly so he could peer over them. Phil laughed and looked across at the driver, who wore a strained smile. 

"Sure do." He replied, opening the back door, tossing his bag in then following suit. The engine revved into life and the car pulled a U-turn before speeding off into the night. For the first few seconds, no one said a thing, however it wasn't long before the guy in the front spun in his seat to talk to Phil.

"Pj told me you and Dan had a fight. Are you alright, dude?" Removing the glasses from his face, the guy slipped them over the collar of his shirt and grinned reassuringly at Phil, who merely wore a look of fake indifference. 

"Yeah totally, Chris, I'm fine. Money was spent, things were said, or rather shouted and tempers were up so I thought it best to disappear for a night." His voice sounded strange to even himself, and the words felt foreign in his mouth, leaving a bitter after-taste. He hardly ever fought with Dan, and when the occasional tiff occurred, it was cleared up within minutes. This was different, and he could tell. It was almost like a gut feeling you know you should listen to. 

"Sounds awful, I mean, you guys never fight!" Chris turned back in his seat to face the front. "One of you must've done something pretty bad." At that point, Pj glanced up into the reerview mirror, studying Phil's face for any flicker of emotion that could indicate the scale of the row. But he couldn't look for long, as he was driving. 

"I don't think Phil wants to talk about it, so lets change topic." He shot a warning glare at Chris, who instantly nodded and began talking about his next video, and what they thought he should include in it. 

It wasn't long before they reached Chris and Pj's apartment, and they all commenced the long stair climb to their high-rise house. The next few weeks were spent ordering various takeouts, which Phil didn't touch much to the concerned looks from his friends, and having several Buffy and Sherlock marathons. He hadn't uttered a word after entering the apartment, and this was causing serious concern with both Pj and Chris, so they decided to tread lightly and question the ebony haired boy.

"Phil, you seem really ... Down, as of late. What's going on?" Pj asked, edging closer to his friend, a look of pure perplexity and worry twisting his handsome features. 

"I spend my weekdays counting down to the weekend." Phil answered, his voice monotone, eyes staring unblinkingly at the wall across from him. "I spend my daytime's counting down to nighttime. I spend my minutes counting down to a new hour." His dimming, lagoon blue eyes snapped up to his friend's, silently noting their concern. "Pj, I spend all my time counting time, wasting time, and ... I just don't want to any more." The last statement had alarm bells ringing within Pj's mind, he'd like to think Phil wasn't the type to do stupid things when feeling stressed or pressured, but wishful thinking wouldn't get him very far in this very real situation. 

" ... Phil? I think you should go talk to someone. Tomorrow morning before going home, maybe?" Chris muttered, attempting to subtly lighten the heavy mood whilst also saying something comforting, but to no extent did it seem to comfort him.

"I'm going to make a video." Phil declared, before standing and swinging his bag over his shoulder...

Phil's P.O.V

Walking gently to my room, my mind wondered back to before, when I was sat in the hall at home, hearing and trying not to listen to Dan painting the portrait of my night. I could see it in perfect clarity in my minds eye, however it was as though I was watching myself do all the things he had told me I'd done, instead of actually doing them. Probably because I hadn't done any of those things, so how could I possibly imagine myself in that situation? 

Rummaging though my pitiful excuse for luggage, I found my camera and thoughtlessly began setting it up beside the bedside. Taking a seat on the windowsill, I stared out into the inky darkness of the night, lessening the already lose grip I had on my imagination, allowing it to run wild and reckless. 

After a while, I regained my head and thought it a bit stuffy, so swung the window open and lent out. The cool night breeze caressed my face and ran it's tendril-like fingers through my ebony hair. Suddenly, I felt better, at ease, as though somehow someone had just taken a rubber and erased everything that had happened over the past few days. 

Suddenly, I heard the door swing open and a choked gasp from behind me. Glancing down, I realised how far I'd lent out and started to panic. Somehow, I'd managed to climb out of the window and perch on the ledge, with my legs and feet dangling perilously, hands not even holding on. Literally, if Chris hadn't have grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled me back inside the window, I sware I would've fallen from the great height to my death. 

No one's P.O.V

"What the fuck were you thinking, Phil?!" Chris hissed, jumping up and closing the window, then  pushing the door to, ensuring Pj was elsewhere and unable to listen in, for he knew how protective he'd be over Phil if he got wind of what had just happened.

"I ... I wasn't." Was the guys response. Blinking several times, he made to stand but felt uneasy, so decided it best to remain on the floor for the time being. Chris walked back to Phil and sat beside him.

"You weren't thinking? Well, you've got that right." A silence settled between them, not an awkward kind, but more of a thoughtful variety. This remained in place for a few minutes, until Chris finally spoke again. "When I walked in I thought you were like, going to jump or something." Phil's eyes snapped up to meet Chris's, swimming with concern for his welfare. 

"No, no. I just ... I needed some air, so I opened the window and then the next thing I know, I'm sitting on the ledge seconds from falling to my death." His eyes wondered back to the window, then tracing their way back to the camera. It may not have even caught his attention had the room not been as dark as it was, but blinking in the sea of weightless, spilt ink was a small red light. 

The camera had recorded the whole thing ...