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SingulariTae : i love taetae-oppa so much, he's mine and that hoe @chinsunnie should stop thirsting after him and hanging out with him, he's MY boyfriend 😡 754 retweets, 813 likes, 97 comments
helloimgayforseulgi what the actual hell is this account i'm-
jungkookswife you and taehyung-oppa should go on a double date with me and jeongguk-oppa! 😍
HobiGoesHard she's literally their friend and works as a photographer for bighit- goodbye braincells...
SingulariTae yes unnie! 💝💝 @jungkookswife
kumamonxyoongi can you two like... not...
RapMonO ^ i agree with kumamon dude @kumamonxyoongi
helloimgayforseulgi smh idk who 'singularitae' is but 'jungkookswife' never fails to amaze me with her stupidity
HobiGoesHard 'singularitae' is a bitch who hates jimin and is mean to me, @RapMono, and @seokjin.blossom 's friends jung and min @helloimgayforseulgi
imatree wAIT IMA MAKE A GC WITH ALL OF US
'imatree had added you to a group!' 'would you like to accept?'
'yes' 'no'
'imatree, RapMonO, taeslion, + three more'
'imatree updated the group name to "the resistance"'
seokjin.blossom i'm so confused rn
taeslion honestly same eunbi what is this
imatree so we all saw the dumb shit on those two hoes' pages right
helloimgayforseulgi wait who tf are all you asides from eunbi, beomseok, and sungmin
RapMonO I WAS GOING TO ASK THE SAME THING
'RapMonO has changed their name to "jisoo"'
jisoo so uh yeah if that didn't make it obvious i'm jisoo and i always miss namjoon so uh yeah stream forever rain thanks
HobiGoesHard YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR NAME!?
'HobiGoesHard has changed their name to "sunghyun"'
'helloimgayforseulgi has changed their name to "seulgi's wife (sooji)"'
'taeslion has changed their name to "sungmin"'
'you have changed your name to "woojin loves his bf"'
'kumamonxyoongi has changed their name to "beomseok"'
'imatree has changed their name to "eunbi"'
eunbi okay let's just all introduce ourselves before i discuss my plan
eunbi i'm eunbi :)
seulgi's wife (sooji) plan...?
seulgi's wife (sooji) aNygays
seulgi's wife (sooji) hi i'm sooji and i love seulgi more than anything else like she can step on me and i'd thank her and ask her to do it again
woojin loves his bf when your inner kinky gay takes over
sungmin speaking of kinks...
beomseok you guys are never going to let that go are you
seulgi's wife (sooji) nope
sunghyun i'm... confused but i don't want to ask
sunghyun anyway i'm sunghyun, and woojin is my boyfriend, it's nice to meet you all i guess
eunbi oKay so introductions are done let me keep talking about the plan
woojin loves his bf HEY I STILL HAVEN'T INTRODUCED MYSELF!!!
sungmin ^
beomseok ^^
eunbi IDRC WE CAN SEE YOUR NAMES ANYWAY
jisoo lmao eunbi are you my spirit animal because you're my 24/7 mood when dealing with woojin
woojin loves his bf EXCUSE ME!?
eunbi IM JUST GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY PLAN NOW
sunghyun oh yeah what exactly is this???
eunbi we are the resistance, the select few chosen to fight against the horrible demons known as 'singularitae' and 'jungkookswife'
seulgi's wife (sooji) so is this a cult or what
eunbi ITS NOT A CULT
eunbi actually hell yeah it's a cult
eunbi a tree cult
eunbi a gay tree cult
eunbi and i'm the gay tree cult leader
sungmin i'm-
jisoo what the hell is happening
eunbi now listen to me, my cultists, and we shall plot the downfall of jungkookswife and singularitae
and so, the gay tree cult was born, and the six cultists, following their leader eunbi, began to plan the downfall of 'singularitae' and 'jungkookswife.' would their plan work? who knows? but the gay tree cult was powerful, and would stop at nothing to achieve their goal.
—
a / n
this chapter is honestly mostly crack but i enjoyed writing it :)
if you guys want to see more of eunbi, sungmin, sooji, and beomseok, check out fanboy by my friend @TINYMINNIES ! she writes some of the best fics <3
