what led to us

chapter one

i stared down at the letter that i was clutching between my fingers, noticing a corner suddenly turning wet, it had started to rain. slowly and then all at once. perfect. i guess this way it would hide the sadness that would surely pour out heavier than the pats of rain on my now soaking back. putting the letter into my pocket, he finally came out the building i was standing outside of.
"baby what are you doing outside? you're getting soaked come in" his gentle and caring voice was making all the events leading to this much harder than i thought. yoongi was still staring at you dumbfounded as you hadn't moved the slightest. he sighed running out to grab your wrist to pull you inside but you recoiled at his touch. this is when the first tear fell. unnoticed because of the rain. however yoongi knew you, he saw the sadness you displayed when you looked up to him, now in total confusion.

"y/n what's wrong? why are you crying?" he kept reaching out hoping to hold your sides, but it would only make things worse. you didn't want to feel his warmth surround you, making you feel safe, you couldn't want that anymore.

"i think we need to end this" ...he looked down at you like you had spoken another language, he brushed your comment off and this time grabbed your wrist pulling you only a few steps towards the door before you stopped him once again.
"no yoongi" this came out in a sob rather than a command.

"we need to end this? what the fuck do you mean 'end this' what needs to end is this act! come inside and talk to me" the anger in his voice only faded when his eyes flooded with worry. "please y/n you're scaring me" you smiled through the tears looking up to him, he would stand in this rain for hours until you told him what was wrong and you couldn't believe someone like him was really yours. he loved me, more than i ever knew someone could.

"you're smiling now? what is this some kind of joke because it isn't funny-"

"i'm sorry" cutting him off. he waited for you to carry on and and it felt like you were also waiting, "we need to break up, i can't do this anymore and you need to move on, i came here to say goodbye and i won't-" suddenly he engulfed you with his arms, his arms tight and unmoving, you didn't know what to do, so you stood there, with your arms by your side, the urge to hug him, to hold him; painful.

then, cries... you could hear his unsteady breaths, you broke down because you knew this was the part you feared the most. you were standing, crying in the dead of night, while the rain pored on the both of you.

"i- i'm sorry i don't know what i've done but let me make it better, tell me what to do please if i hurt you upset you i- i can get better, i can show you more attention please i-" he was frantic the strain in his voice as he pleaded you not to make this choice. but you had to. for the both of you this was the only way.

"yoongi please let me go"

it was a long time before he pulled apart, the street light now lighting up the streaks of tears down his cheeks. "i cant be with you anymore" each word broke me, but i knew it was hurting him more.

"just tell me what i did please i'll fix it, ANYTHING"

"you can't fix it!" you screamed back.

silence.

"d-do you not love me anymore?" the words sent every muscle into lock, you wanted to yell back yes, so fucking much, but you couldn't. you had to do this, and you had to do it now.

"...no" this whispered into the cold air. one last tear falling from his eyes. the time around us both stopping, neither of us making a sound or move.

"goodbye yoongi" you choked out.

finally finding your footing, you ran away from the casualty that was the love of your life. you left him standing there, alone, broken. you knew you shouldn't have looked back, but you had to see him one last time, even if it meant seeing his body crumbled on the ground, his head hanging between his knees, his sobs slightly echoing the streets that were getting farther and farther away, until he was gone.

out of sight, out of reach. you cried, endlessly while the blackened sky hung above you. bitting your lips to prevent the choked sobs that came out of you.

"i love you yoongi, i always have"