what led to us

chapter twelve

[the day before you met]

you wondered the streets. not sure what to do with yourself. the sound of your feet scuffing the ground you wanted to crumble into. your life was a spinning loop of never ending sadness. your life was depressing and you wanted it over with already. if there was anything you could do, to have a normal life, to be a normal girl, you'd do it. however life wasn't easy to you. there were so many hurdles, people, things, that got in the way. you never thought you'd be your own destruction.

the cold air made your fingers numb, you hoped it would numb the feelings you felt surging through you, but nothing but death could erase the pain you felt. the irony in that making you laugh. the street was lonely, as were you. walking aimlessly through the back streets of the town. wondering where it would take you. maybe to a bridge, to a ditch. you didn't know. your life was unexpected. forever a disappointment in your eyes.

turning the corner of an unmarked street, you saw a group of boys, all standing outside a building, you paid no attention to them as they did the same to you, as you were getting closer however you did notice one of them was staring at you, but then, you found yourself staring at him, the scarf wrapped round your face hid the tears that were falling continuously, his mask only revealing his eyes. they were pretty eyes you admitted to yourself. however you looked away. if only that guy could cure the pain and sadness in your heart. wondering what it would be like to be swept away into a cheesy love story. someone to make you forget the life you've lived till now.

there was no time for it anymore. you couldn't have that love story. you couldn't have anything anymore. your life was decided for you. you had no choice in the making. yet the control you had of where you'd end up taken from you, meant that you no longer held a care for what happened to you. you were fine to take it all away. end it right now. your life was over before you could even argue. the ropes you held pulling yourself in the direction of your hopes and dreams, pulled right out of your hands.

it was pointless. your life was just that. you wished for something to change. yet you knew hope was a disappointing concept. so you continued on your journey, every step of the way, you searched for a someone, for a something that would give you a purpose.