what led to us

chapter two

[two days before the break up]

waking up to what could only be the worst and best thing. the heatings broke, but you can still feel your own personal radiator softly sleeping next to you. you turned your head gently to glance down at yoongis cheek resting on your shoulder, you would always fall asleep in his arms only to wake up with him in yours. his breaths were slow and steady on your chilled skin, giving you goosebumps, shivering slightly making him fidget in his sleep. his lips parted in the cutest yawn as he unconsciously brought himself closer to you, this time hugging at your waist. you placed your hand on his head, your fingers getting lost in his bed hair. this was the best moment of your day. waking up with him. in these quiet moments you can appreciate what you'll soon have to lose.

you needed to get up, you had to be somewhere in an hour, it was urgent you couldn't miss it, but yoongis grip was like a vice, he wouldn't budge. "baby" you hummed cupping his cheek to gently wake him, he grumbled taking your hand in his. making you laugh, "yoongi i need to get up" you knew he was listening, just ignoring you. you made an attempt to get up nearly successful when your feet touch the cold wooden floor, only to be pulled back on to the bed now staring at the ceiling with yoongi hanging over you.

"goodmorning" he whispered as he closed the space between you, kissing your lips delicately. he pulled away, stroking the strands of your hair aside so he could admire your face, "you look pretty today" he said smiling as if he was the luckiest guy, "you said that yesterday" you teased trying to sit up, pinning you back down onto the bed with his lips and nothing else, "you look pretty everyday" he murmured against your lips.

"yoongi baby i really need to get ready" he pouted, finally letting you sit up. he pulled a shirt off the floor putting it on, walking out of your room with just his shirt and boxers. you had to admit he was not a bad sight to look at from behind. "stop staring at my ass" he said without even looking back. you laughed. finally getting dressed.

"so where are you going?" yoongi said leaning against the kitchen counter, coffee in hand. "i just have to go get a few things" he nodded not really investigating anymore into it. which you were glad about. 

"i'll see you later" you reached up placing your hands on his chest, leaning down he kissed you like nobody else ever could. "don't be long" nodding you left the house.

you knew where you were going and you hated doing this behind his back. seeing someone, talking to someone else about your problems. you only ever told yoongi these things. you asked yourself each morning how you could leave his arms and put your trust in another's. it's not that you didn't want to share this part of you with yoongi, but he couldn't help you like they could, so you had to lie. it killed you inside. literally.

"hey" you said as jae leaned down hugging you tightly. "how are you" he said sincerely holding the sides of your head while he examined you carefully. "i'm fine" he scoffed, "you always say that" but he smiled afterwards and you smiled back. this felt so wrong.

"were you at home last night?" you panicked shaking your head, "i was at a friends" he looked suspicious but dropped it, he trusted you, even when you didn't deserve it. you were lying to the two people you loved most.

"jae what would you do if i left you?" he was taken back, his eyes narrowing, the question startled even you, why the fuck did you ask that so boldly. "why do you ask? your not leaving me are you?" you shook your head, not being able to lie through your teeth.

"the thought kills me." that was all he said turning around and focusing on the cup of tea he was making for you. fuck.

later on that night you arrived back home, to yoongi. you'd know he wouldn't be home, working late as usual, so you thought you'd make some food for when he gets back. after everything you were doing to him, to jae, you knew you had to at least pretend like you weren't a horrible person. you loved yoongi yet you so easily lied to him every day.

"i hate myself"

you heard keys in the door of your home, you panicked because it was only eight, yoongi doesn't get home till around ten? "yoongi is that you?" you got no answer but soon enough his head popped round the kitchen door. sighing in relief, he smiled walking through the door straight to you, "i missed you so i came home early" your heart melting. he picked you up by your waist, sitting you on the counter top, standing between your legs, his hands resting on your thighs, reaching up you lazily draped your arms around his shoulders, he was just smiling at you, you were a little confused, "are you okay, why are you smiling so much" he kissed you, quickly and short before he parted your lips.

"i just love you." what was he doing to you. he had your heart in a million ways yet you couldn't give him what he deserved. you never could. "i love you so much, no matter what happens" he was off about your choice of words but brushed them aside, "i'm never letting you go, you're stuck with me forever" why was he being exceptionally lovey, "what's with all the mush min?" his face turning serious at the question. "waking up with you this morning, these past mornings, only made me realise how much i cant bare to be apart from you, i need you with me all the time, i'm happy because i have you, but i'm happier because i'm taking you with me. everywhere" you frowned, "everywhere?" he pulled plane tickets out of his back pocket, "our tour starts next month, i'm taking you with us" your heart was over joyed, you were so happy they agreed, hugging him tightly he giggled into the crook of your neck, spinning around the kitchen with you in his arms, when he put you down on the ground kissing you, the moment felt like nothing could ruin it. only did the gravity pull you back to the realisation that you couldn't.

everything was ruined in a split second, all because of your horrible lie. i hate this so much. why can't i just make him happy. why do i have to do this to him, be this person. i wanted to give him better.

he saw your expression change, "what's wrong?" shaking your head you faked a smile, hugging him again, not letting him see the guilt in your eyes, while your thoughts spiraled into sadness, knowing the fact you won't be going on that tour with him.