The Spirit Guardians Book 3: Fated

Chapter 35

Irene reclined against the seat in the technician's office as Charles and Monica encoded rebel messages. She had to be careful about spending too much time away from her house. If Lynch unexpectedly visited and found her gone, she doubted he'd buy into her lies.

There was something comforting about sitting with the other spies, talking fondly of the future ahead. Not that Irene expected to benefit much in the long run. She'd already lost everyone close to her. Her decision to spy wasn't meant to correct her horrid behavior in the past. She didn't expect an apology. She didn't expect Cherie to take her back. She didn't expect to see Elijah again. She didn't expect Lillian to love her. But she hoped they would be able to stop looking at her like a monster when all this was done with.

"Looks like they'll be planning the operation in October," Monica said as she jotted down notes in front of her.

"Will that be enough time to prepare?" Irene wondered.

Charles sipped on his mug of hot coffee. "Should be. If they wait too long, Lynch might catch on. We're very careful around here, but Lynch must know messages are being relayed. Why he's waiting to take action, I'm not sure."

Irene slowly nodded, her palms beginning to feel clammy. She hated that she felt fear around that man, but his mysterious visits and vague speeches always left her with a sense of discomfort. She was glad now more than ever that Elijah was away from the headquarters and safe.

"Are you planning to join them, Irene?" Charles asked curiously.

Irene shook her head. "I think it's better I stay here."

"You might get into some serious trouble if you linger too long," Monica stated as she began clicking through some more files. "The way I see it, either the spies are going to join the rebels or be killed off. There won't be a happy medium. There's nothing keeping you here, is there? Why not go home?"

Irene dryly gulped. "I don't want to. Not yet."

"You've already done enough," Charles told her.

"No. I need to do more. I need to prove to them..."

"If you're trying to prove yourself, why not reveal your identity?" Monica suggested. "Maybe they'll be willing to cooperate even more if they know it's you."

"They wouldn't. I don't want to leave or reveal myself anytime soon. I need to keep fooling Lynch," Irene said.

"You won't be able to fool him forever," Charles warned.

"I can. I can," Irene repeated, almost as if it were a mantra. Why couldn't she just step out the headquarters and escape? She could reasonably do so with the number of allies she'd gained lately. There was fear on other side. Remaining here might mean punishment by Lynch, but heading back would most likely result in cold responses from the others.

There's nowhere left for me, Irene thought hopelessly.

She stood up, saying her quiet good-byes. As she headed out of the Tech building, onto the street, she watched the sun begin to set. Irene shivered a bit, finding that the weather was getting colder at night.

Her heart sunk as she thought of the discussion that had transpired. In truth, she did miss the others. She missed Cherie's warm attitude, Marc and Conny's playfulness, Lillian's love...Hell, she even missed Cassie's obnoxiousness. She hoped they were taking good care of her son.

Irene let out a sigh, wondering how she had ever dug herself into this mess, wondering why she had let fear make her decisions for her. For so many years now she'd lived in limbo, never sure of her actual place in this world or what she was meant to do.