Social Anxiety | Jensoo

Chapter 10

Jennie's P.O.V

The pain in my chest started to hurt so bad after crying. I wanted to die. I couldn't help but feel hurt.

I was so scared to love again. My first love especially made it hurt even worse. It killed me inside.

Him. Kim Jiwoo. He just used me. I loved him though. I thought I would have given up on love till I met her.

Kang Selugi. She was my first girl crush and made me believe in love again.

She treated me like I was everything to her. She was my best friend. Soon enough I had feelings for her.

She made me feel different than anybody else and made my day when I got the chance to see her.

Until someone told her that I liked her. After that she treated me differently but we still stayed friends.

It hurts me every time I think about her knowing that I'm not good enough to be her girlfriend. She meant a lot to me and I didn't want to lose her.

Every time someone spoke about me liking her she would just sit there and get mad.

It would break my heart each and every time causing more pain.

She meant so much to me that I still held on to her. I kept thinking that there could still be a chance for me to be hers.

But it never became that way. I still loved her but it came to a point where there were times we didn't talk. Some could last a week or at most 2 months.

We eventually made up. But it wasn't the same as before. We didn't talk the same way we used to talk.

I knew it was all my fault. It was my fault for liking her. My fault for being here. My fault for still giving love a chance.

I couldn't help but cry even more. It's started to dig a whole in my heart. Now it's filled with loneliness and longing for love.

I hugged my pillow and cried. I grabbed one of my stuffed animals thinking it was a real human and hugged it. I just wanted someone to hug me knowing that everything is going to be alright.

But in my eyes no one will ever do that to a girl like me.

A/N: Sorry if it got too depressing. All of this is based off of true events that are happening to me irl. I just needed an output for my feelings. I really do need JamlessJasmine and Mana_Dark rn.