Ms. Tilly

Chapter 9

There's always a barrier when one awakes or when they are asleep. In that barrier, they themselves don't know who they are. No future, no past, and especially no present. It's completely neutral. And when it's neutral, it's calming. That person is one with the universe that expands every nanosecond. That person has no body and no mind in the barrier. 

The one thing about that barrier, it's not long enough. It's barely considered an existence because no one remembers it. Yet, that's the unfortunate thing about it. 

No one remembers not existing, it's because the mind was absent. 

But not existing is somewhat a relief. Nothing bad happens, no pain, no tears, no emotion. Only neutrality with the universe.

But once they wake up, there's that everlasting mystery we ask ourselves absent-mindedly, how is this day going to end?

Is it going to end in neutrality? Was this day an accomplishment, did they end in some kind of achievement? Or did they fail? Is it going to end in failure, loss, pain, anger? Or is it going to end period? That's the most terrifying cost of waking up, they don't know how their day is going to end. Maybe that's why they hate waking up. It's not always because they just like to sleep...

it's because they're terrified of facing the unpredictable.

When I woke up this morning, I thought I could predict the future. It's because every day is the same for me. Wake up, eat breakfast, bathe, relax, eat, nap, bathe, relax more, eat, and then sleep. I never thought I'd be bored of that simple routine, which I never was. I enjoy not having responsibilities or having to worry about conveniences. I enjoy being neutral and one with the universe, just like that nano-sized barrier between asleep and awake.

I find it scary how bad days can start out like good days. Wake up, stuff your face, relax. Sounds like a good time, doesn't it? That's where the bad get's us. It comes out of nowhere, it catches us off guard, perhaps that why everyone considers it so terrible than it actually is.

Want to know the worst part? That inconvenience, that error in our simple lives, it was there the whole time. Without us knowing it.

***

Today was a Monday. Yuck.

Nobody likes Mondays. Well, I have no reason to not like Mondays. I stay home all day, I don't have to do a thing but lay my fat self over that couch, and nap all day. Why? Because I can.

I love it when it's quiet in the house. No teenagers screaming over the last bowl of cereal, no middle-aged man yelling at the teenagers and trying to maintain the toddler from destroying the home. I've mentioned this before, and I'll probably mention this again because I appreciate its existence.

Around 4 o'clock, the girls corrupt my peace and quiet by coming home from school. They're both exhausted and probably sick of school.

"I can't believe Mr. Humes gave us a pop quiz," Mackenzie whined while investigating the snack cabinets.

"Oh yeah? Well, my seminar teacher pulled me out of class to tell me that I had 3 F's in my CORE classes. She said she was going to contact dad! Dad is going to actually kill me," Taylor one-upped Mackenzie with complaints and extreme exaggerations.

"Tsk, he's not going to kill you, he knows you're already dumb," Mackenzie said, sticking out her tongue, "that's like complaining that ice is cold."

"Or complaining that you're a freak," Taylor kicked Mackenzie in the leg.

"It'd be great if you would quiet down," I yawned from the couch. They stopped fighting and bickering and turned their attention to me. "Oh sorry, Ms. Tilly, did we wake you up from your nap?" Taylor cooed at me. "Actually you did," I wanted to say.

Once it got dark, Gary was home with Ivan. He also looked drained, Ivan didn't, since he's really a ball of renewable energy. He crawled off Gary and began screeching of excitement. I think he was trying to say my name because he kept repeating 'mi tiyeeee'. Thankfully, he didn't come and disrupt my personal space. Only the teenagers did.

"Dad, what's wrong?" Taylor asked, probably hoping that he didn't hear about her grades. Gary sighed as he emptied his pockets. A whole bunch of change, keys, crumpled up papers scattered over the kitchen counter. He had dark circles over his swollen eyes. He looked he had been crying.

Without a word, he opened the cabinet over the fridge and pulled out a tall, transparent, green bottle with a weathered paper wrapped around it. "Taylor, grab me a wine glass, will ya?" He said as he popped the cork off the bottle.

Taylor obeyed. He slammed the oddly shaped glass cup on the counter and poured a crimson red liquid into it. Wine. He poured sorrowful Wine into his memory. Gary never did drink that much, except right after the divorce. But when he did drink alcohol, each type of alcohol represented something. Shampaigne meant celebration or New Year's Eve. Whiskey meant a bad day. Hard liquor meant someone died in the family and Wine...Wine suggested the worst had happened to him.

"Dad? What happened?" Mackenzie freaked out. Taylor began concerned too.

"You're going to need to sit down with this news," Gary gulped down his Wine. The girls listened to him and sat next to me. I pretended to take another nap, so I could eavesdrop better. 

Gary also sat down, but then stood up again. He was stalling.

"You're scaring us," Taylor looked at him with fear in her eyes.

When Gary sighed, it quivered. "I-I got a call today from my lawyer," he sat back down and leaned his head against his hands. "It's about your mother."

The girls nodded, paying attention closely.

When I think about it, I've always been living in that neutral barrier. Nothing ever woke me up, nothing interfered with me. There was nothing that could make me wake up.

But for the first time

"She's taking me to court,  Helen wants you guys back."

I woke up.

***A/N***

When I was having my friend read this before I published it, she said:

"Omg, please don't leave off like this, I'm begging for mercy." I responded in my most apathetic voice "Then beg."

The story's finally getting serious. I hope y'all are crying. I still love you though, remember that.

If you thought 'wow, I love getting my heart crushed in tiny bits of pieces', then feel free to comment and slap that vote button as hard as you can.

See ya next week(maybe lol, I'm never consistent).

-MissyKV