Ms. Tilly

Chapter 10

I don't love them. I don't love them.

But if I don't love them, then what's this feeling in my heart when I watch the girls cry? Why is my chest heavy? Why can't I breathe? I don't love them. Why do I have to remind myself that?

"Dad, I don't want to go to Chicago with Mom," Mackenzie rubbed her swollen eyes, "isn't that illegal? Doesn't the kids have to testify?"

Gary shook his head, doubtful, "I don't know, I don't know what the hell's going on." His voice shook. Gary kept rubbing his head in frustration, kind of like Taylor with her math homework. I only did glance, but I saw Gary shed tears. I never have seen him cry. Not even when he got the divorce.

"I hate her. I hate her and her stupid boyfriend, Brandon! I HATE THAT GODAM-" Taylor began to scream curse words. She cried harder than Gary did. Even this was a little too much for me. Gary tried to calm down Taylor by hugging her, it only worked a little.

"Tayyyerr!" Ivan screeched from the hallway. He was in his red footie pajamas. He clutched his brown teddy bear and swung it around whenever he walked.

The silly thing about Ivan and his bear; his teddy bear is named Stoopy. Don't ask why it's Stoopy, Ivan named him. When it's a little past dark, Ivan whips out Stoopy and drags him around the house. Sometimes, when Ivan's in a really good mood, he'll pretend he's Stoopy. He'll talk for him and everything. It's kind of cu-

I don't love them. I'm serious! I don't love those kids. They're pests, they're nightmares. They're children.

"What-what are gonna do?" Taylor blubbered out the words. I could tell she was in pain. Maybe not break-her-ankle pain, but watching her favorite glass cup break in front of her pain.

Gary shook his head again, completely unsure. 

I wish I was in that barrier again. Where nothing happened and everything still. No minor inconveniences, no tears to shed, just neutrality.

Wait-

how come this is affecting me? This shouldn't bother anything. Hey, maybe if that washed-up-piece-of-trash-of-a-woman took the kids, then it'd be quieter! I wouldn't have to deal with those children anymore. That'd be nice.

Mackenzie was sobbing like a waterfall. Her shirt collar was soaking wet from the slobber and tears falling off her face.  She pushed back her messy brown hair. When she arrived home from school, her hair was straightened and neat, but I guess when someone hears some heart-breaking news, they don't pay any attention to how they appear.

"How about we head to bed, girls," Gary said softly. Gary was tired. He was tired of today, probably even tired of living. I wonder how Gary walks forward every day. How does he smile and keep his head high, even though the ground before him is crumbling?

But then again, how do I know that his head's about to fall and his smile was fake?

***

I lied beside Gary in his bed, listening to him whimper. I curled up into his side and tried to comfort him. The lights were out, but I could still picture Gary crying.

"Ms. Tilly," he muttered, he turned to his side and squeezed me with his warmth. "What am I going to do?" He whispered into my ear, kissing the top of my head. I could feel tears dripping into my hair, understanding that this custody battle was only the beginning.

I understood that this was killing Gary. Hell, his children are being taken from them if he loses. Imagine, he's just going to be a lonely-piece-of-old-trash, maybe with Petra as his girlfriend, and me.

Oh yeah, Petra has a dog.

OH NO PETRA HAS A DOG. Why did I forget about that? NOOOO. 

I hate that thing so much. I hope she doesn't move in...ughh!

My heart sped up as I lied next to Gary, I was thinking about that damn dog again. Gary noticed and pet my head, "Ms. Tilly, I bet you're stressed as well. I'm sorry, honey," his soothing voice was soft. It sounded like a mother consoling their crying baby. Maybe that's what Gary's doing. He's consoling me. He's the mother and I'm the crying baby.

He needs the consoling! I don't need comfort. I perfectly fine. I didn't raise these kids, let alone give birth to them, so they're not my problem. Why must I keep reminding myself that? I know this! This is simple, so why can't I get this knocked into my brain? 

Is there something wrong with me? Do I have some kind of condition that causes me to repeat myself?

No, no. Who am I kidding? I'm just going crazy. I'm sure thirty-five-year-olds become repetitive all the time. I'm normal, right?

***

Gary fell asleep holding me. He snored lightly as he was sound asleep. His face wrinkled as he dreamt. I could tell he was dreaming of the losing everything he's ever had. His kids, me, his home, probably Petra, did I say me yet? 

If his dream became reality, I don't know what he might do. I wouldn't be shocked to see him give up on life. I can't let him give up. Where am I going to go live once he's dead?

Everything was quiet, but not at peace. No one was sleeping peacefully. I guarantee everyone was having a nightmare. Including Ivan. But this is a nightmare, however. A nightmare that has come true.

As I let my eyelids close and sleep continue to take me away, Gary's device rang. He sat up instantly, without a second to fill, and answered. His drowsiness turned quickly into an alerted person that was on standby. "Hello?"

I looked at him, even if I can't see his face, I knew exactly what his face was showing: fear.

"It's finalized? When?" He asked with distress. There was a pause. "Shit! Okay, thank you. I'll be there for an appointment on Thursday." He cursed.

He slammed his head back down onto the pillow, releasing a huge sigh.

I later found out that Helen was taking Gary to court, in two weeks. Little did I know, two weeks go by faster than some think.

***A/N***

Hey guys! What a tiresome chapter, eh? I certainly was drained planning this chapter, not because of how dramatic it is, but of stress. Stress? Yep! Not the regular stress: the stress of how I'm going to make your sweet lives miserable by ruining everything and destroying your hearts in these next few chapters.

I also want to mention, we're halfway through the story! I only planned for 20 chapters, sorry to disappoint you. But it's about to get really chaotic for these last 10 parts. Just wanted you to know, so keep your heads up. Additionally, if I am on schedule (fingers crossed) I might post Chapter 19-20 on the same day. <IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE TAGS, I WARNED THERE'S GOING TO BE A PLOTTWIST, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THAT. IT'S COMING. I'VE BEEN HINTING IT SINCE CHAPTER ONE.>

Thanks my dudes for reading chapter 10. If you thought this was a decent part, please feel free to vote, harass the comment button, and give me a kiss goodnight. You don't have to do the last one, but I feel lonely. Sorry. Love you guys!

-MissyKZV