Violet Shadows (FFVII)

XXII) Ultimate Weapon

Once I'm back on board the Highwind, I head straight to my cabin and lock the door. Throwing my bow on the floor and fling my cape into the corner, I dive into my bed, pressing my face into my pillow and groaning.

I warned you against—

Don't you start with that #$%^&*$%. You told me to do plenty of things.

Why did you listen?

I don't know.

Someone tries to open the door, likely to see if I left or if I'm staying behind. I'm positive anyone who was on board saw my valiant leap to the ground, but they might not have seen my return. I sigh. It doesn't matter anymore, they just need to stop making so much noise. There's a beep and the door opens; I keep wallowing.

"Hey, Vi."

"What're you still doing here?" I roll onto my back and watch Cid dig through my bedside table. "What are you doing?"

"Brat stole all my cigs," he grumbles, closing a drawer. "So I hid 'em in here. Hope you don't mind. I knew you wouldn't have anything too sketchy in there."

"Gods," I grimace, earning a chuckle. Sighing, I look up at the plain ceiling. What am I supposed to do after we defeat Sephiroth—if we defeat Sephiroth? Wander the Planet alone for an eternity? Watch it destroy itself only to relive it all over again? Will Shinra be reborn? Will Hojo? What if centuries from now, another Avalanche rises up? Will I help them? Will I find another Vincent? Don't think like that. You knew it was temporary. You were lonely.

"He left, didn't he?"

"Yup."

"Said he's not comin' back?"

"Bingo."

"His loss," Cid shrugs, lighting a cigarette. "I don't get it though, not that love and all that mushy #$%^ is my forte."

"Speaking of mushy #$%^," I sit up. "Go talk to Shera. We don't know if we'll be surviving this. Don't you want to at least apologize?"

"I did," he huffs, scratching the back of his neck. His boot taps on the floor and I fight a small smile. The same thing he did when he was nervous when we first found him all that time ago. "After we got back from space."

"Then go see her," I roll my eyes. "Honestly, I would have given up on you a million years ago if I was her."

"Hey!"

"What? You expect her to wait around forever for some man who's only ever been a complete #$%^ to her?" I demand, though it's not all that effective because we both know that she would. "I'll be out on the deck." I stand and step out of my room.

"... Yer just gonna let him go?"

"What..." I swallow hard, shaking my head and taking a shuddering breath. "What else can I do, Cid?"

"I dunno, kid."

"Well, I don't either."

I head up to the place where the wind whips the sense out of my mind, where the nighttime sky is illuminated by thousands of stars and colors that I can't possibly name. I know he can see the very same sky—unless he's in Lucrecia's cave, playing my naive stupidity over in his head. My hands tighten around the rail and I shudder. I shut my eyes and picture David's face, wonder what he would do if he knew a man had treated me as Reno had, or if he heard how anyone broke me as Vincent did. He would hug me, hold me tight, convincing me it would be okay, that I'd get past it, that he's here now. He'd convince I wouldn't get hurt again because he was there. And it would all be true- at least until he dissolved away between my fingers again.