Far From Home // t.h.

44 - y/n

He walked down the three small stairs. You were putting his stuff back into your bag when he spoke out again: "Thanks, love." and then you could feel his lips again on your cheek. The whole thing was bizarre. As many times he had called you Darling, you have never heard him say, love. Not to anyone. Then the kiss. You felt like he had put a spell on you with it because you couldn't move anymore. You just looked at him as he walked on like it was no big deal. Then after a moment, he froze too. The spell caught up to him. He turned around and stared back at you. He looked a bit scared and shocked by his own actions.

"Uhm... I mean..."

"It's fine." you shrugged it off. It was just a silly subconscious thing he did. It was no big thing. Nope, no reason to freak out about it. Clearly, Tom did not have the same idea as you.

"No. We should talk." he walked back to you.

"About what?" You didn't want to play dumb. You knew what he meant. Yet still, this was the only sentence you were able to form.

"About everything. About what happened today. About us." A part of you wanted to brush everything off. It was just one stupid kiss, anyway. It didn't mean anything. He was the famous Tom Holland, while you were his little assistant and that was the whole story. You had just experienced a near death experience (or so it felt at least) so obviously, the adrenaline was still high in both of you. Yep, no big deal.

The other part of you wanted to sit down with him and just talk. Not even about the events of the day, but about everything and nothing. Just sit on a couch together, maybe even cuddled up, and joke around... Ok, yeah, maybe it was more than just a kiss.

"Can you please say something?" he sounded desperate. You didn't know how long for you were zoned out. You didn't even know you did zone out. You shook your head slightly to line everything up. Just don't forget to breathe.

"So, where do you want to talk?" That seemed like a good question. Tom smiled weakly, probably appreciate your answer. "In there?" he suggested the trailer. You wondered if it would be a good idea for the two of you to be alone in such a small space. Maybe it was better to do it in public? Then again, you had a hunch this could get really personal and the idea of someone hearing this, didn't sound very appealing.

"Sounds good." you wanted to sound casual, even though your heart was beating a million per minute. You walked back to the small room on wheels. It was rather cozy. Also a bit of a mess. Sometimes, while Tom would be filming, you would get over there and clean up a bit. Today was not one of those days. The couch just so happened to be free of rogue pieces of clothing. Probably because you had just picked them up when you were looking for clothes to bring to Tom when he was getting out of the Spider-Man suit. You sat down, facing each other.

"So, I've been thinking about what I wanted to say for some time now and it's a lot and I'm scared that if you say something meanwhile, I will probably start to freak out and just stop, and I don't want to stop," he said. You didn't know if that already meant this, so you just nodded. Making sure he got it that you understood. Tom took a deep and long breath and then started talking: "I just want to say that what happened today, I honestly wanted it to happen for a long time now. I only realized it when I actually kissed you, but I wanted to kiss you since the day we met. Yes, I know it sounds crazy and stupid and yeah, I know how could I possibly know that so soon, but I just knew.
"So as you see, I've had feelings for you for a really long time. Feelings that I tried to just hide under the bed with all the other nonsense in my life, but this was one thing that I just wouldn't fit.
"And today, when all of that shit happened, I was so scared. Not only that something would happen to you, but also scared of what you would think. I didn't want to think about how it was my fault. I felt so horrible. I thought you would hate every cell in my body for doing that to you and that broke my heart because I was, still am, so sorry. If anything would happen to you, I don't know if I would be able to live with myself." You wanted to say something. How you also had feelings for him. That he shouldn't beat himself up for anything that happened today because you were perfectly fine, but you kept to your promise.

"When we were talking back there earlier, I was going crazy. I couldn't think straight anymore. So when I kissed you, everything stopped. My head was clear again and I finally saw the thing that really mattered: you. You matter so f-fucking much to me, it hurts.
"Then you kissed me back and I knew that it was right. Or at least, I hoped so." He paused to look at you. "Oh no, no, no, no. Shit. Don't cry." You didn't know what he was talking about. Then his hand reached up to your face and he wiped away a single tear from under your eye. You were actually so mesmerized by his words that you didn't even know you had started to cry. You put your hand on his, which was still cupping your cheek, and smiled. "It's ok," you said. You weren't sure if you were allowed to talk again. Was he done? Could you now say what you were thinking? But after all those amazing things he said, how could you ever compare? Then Tom spoke again:

"I don't know if I should say this. I'm not even sure I should have said or done anything today, but," he paused again, "I love you."

"I love you too." you didn't even have a chance to think about. You didn't need to think about it. As soon as those words left his mouth, you knew it too. You have loved him ever since he walked through that old pub door.