The Best For Us (Namjoon Fanfic)

Chapter 20

Normal POV

"Katie"

I look beside me and see Namjoon looking worried. I feel bad. I shouldn't have run away but I couldn't face Rinay and her parents after what happened.

"Are you ok?" He asks me.

I shake my head. Tears still streaming down my face. He pulls me into his chest and I cry.

"I-I'm s-sorry for running away..I was s-scared..it's my f-fault that Alicia died..I could have moved..but I didn't..if only I had she would have been here right now.." I start crying loudly.

"It wasn't your fault Katie..nothing could have changed what was meant to happen..not you or her and I'm sure she doesn't blame you otherwise why would she have pushed you away.." he says.

"B-but I still could have tried...Rinay will never forgive me..I killed her sister..." I say.

"You did not kill Alicia! It's not your fault! Stop being so hard on yourself! As for Rinay, she's the one who told me to look for you..she's not mad at you because she knows her sister did that to save you..It was her choice and there was nothing you could do..Rinay knows that and she loves you and she  is very worried about you,"he says.

I look down. I didn't know Rinay was worried. I shouldn't have left the hospital. He's right. I couldn't have changed it, but it is still my fault that Alicia died. I was careless but she had to suffer.

Alicia is gone...

And it's my fault...

"You know I finally realized what he meant that day..," I say.

Namjoon looks at me in confusion. "Who?"

I look at him and sigh.

"It was two weeks after my dad had left and I was on the roof crying. My mum was depressed and had sudden episodes where she wouldn't talk or eat...I was worried..I couldn't handle it...I was suffering from depression too but I couldn't tell anyone...I met a boy that day....

He was tall, had blonde hair and enchanting green eyes...I was intoxicated by him...his smile...his laugh...he said he'll always take care of me...he said he'll be there no matter what...I told him everything and he didn't judge me but instead helped me through everything...he said he loved me and I was on cloud nine..." I try to hold back my tears.

"We used to do everything together..go on walks...watch movies...sleepover...sing...he was my first date, first kiss and first boyfriend
....my first love...huh at that time I thought I was going to spend the rest of my miserable life with him because I knew if he was in it than it was worth it...he helped my mum get in therapy and finally things were going well...

One day I saw him kissing another girl and it broke me...I wanted life to stop...I asked him why?...

Flashback

"Why would you do this to me James?" I ask with eyes full of tears.
"You said you loved me!"

He sighs. "Katie do you think anyone would love someone like you?" He asks and the girl with him smirks.

"W-what do you mean?" I ask hurt and confused.

"I'm sorry Katie but you're a mess.
Your life is hell and you are too. I know I said I loved you but that was before I actually got to see the real you..I thought you were a bit attractive so I decided to talk to you and I started to care for you..I do care for you..a lot but I can never love you the way you love me...I can never love a girl with scars. Who would? They look and are disgusting..and you're not beautiful or anything...I'm sorry but it's the truth..I don't think any reason is enough of an excuse for that..so I'm sorry but it's better if you stay away from me from now." He says without a look of pity or care in his eyes.

I didn't feel anything from that moment. I was numb. My life could never be the same again. His words were like knives piercing my heart.

I stood there like an idiot that I was crying while he simply walked away. The girl that was with him came up to me and said,"hmmm I almost feel sorry for you." And with that she walked away too.

End of flashback

I take a deep breath. "So yeah he pretty much left my life fucked up and walked away like it was nothing...I tried to kill myself many times after that but I never succeeded...I always thought of my mum and stopped..not that she gives a fuck anyways...luckily I met Alicia and Rinay after that and they helped me even though I was cold and bitchy towards them...they truly loved me and cared for me...they stayed...they never asked me about anything i didnt want to talk about and always let me stay with them when i couldnt stay alone at home...and now because of me one of them are gone..," I say softly.

"I told you it's not because of you...and I'm sorry for what you had to go through...that guy was a jerk and I would kill him if he was here right now...," he says angrily and I can see he's really mad because of the way his jaw twitches and his eyes are burning.

"But he was right about one thing..I am a mess..I always manage to make everyone go away.." I say.

Namjoon pulls me closer to him and faces me.

"Listen Katie..you do not make people go away..they leave when their time in your life is over..and yes you are a mess..you are a beautiful mess that brings joy in this miserable life of mine...that James doesn't know what he's talking about because I know you and I've seen your flaws and to me they are perfect..you are perfect..you are mine and I love you..I will always love you regardless of what you do, say or what anyone says...to me you are the most precious thing in the whole world angel..you are my reason to live," he says while caressing my cheek as he softly kisses my lips.

When he breaks away, I hug him and I promise to myself that no matter what happens I will always be there for Namjoon and I will always put him before me because I truly believe now that he is mine and I am his.

Sorry for the short chapter guys but hope you liked it anyway🌹this book is gonna finish soon inshaallah and I might write a fantasy next😊 don't be a silent reader, pliz comment share and like. I would love to hear your views and thoughts🍭
Love y'all ❤

Xoxo

And congrats to our angels😍😍❤❤❤keep loving them always and keep slayying armys😙😙 remember to stream daydream and airplane for hobis birthday and epiphany for Jin's birthday and also singularity for taes birthday🥀