Effeminate | Jikook ✓

[01:07]

IMESSAGE
Bun 🐰

JIMIN
hey bun.. have you left yet?

JUNGKOOK
not yet, no

JUNGKOOK
hobi just got here, why?

JUNGKOOK
whats up?

JIMIN
oh.. you're with someone else

JIMIN
nvm it's stupid..

JUNGKOOK
no it's not

JUNGKOOK
is it about us?

JIMIN
I mean.. it could be? idrk

JUNGKOOK
he's gonna drive anyways, go ahead

JIMIN
you sure it's okay..

JUNGKOOK
yeah

JIMIN
okay

JIMIN
well then.. I just had a question I guess

JUNGKOOK
shoot

JIMIN
what if..

JIMIN
um

JIMIN
what if you end up finding someone you DO love?

JUNGKOOK
oh

JUNGKOOK
uhm..

JUNGKOOK
haven't thought much about it ngl

JUNGKOOK
if it happens..

JUNGKOOK
then ill just have two priorities. simple

JIMIN
her and nayeon?

JUNGKOOK
guess so, yeah

JIMIN
it makes sense now tho..

JUNGKOOK
what does?

JIMIN
why you only have one night stands..

JUNGKOOK
well.. I haven't in a while but yeah

JIMIN
it's so you don't get attached, isn't it?

JUNGKOOK
kinda

JUNGKOOK
im much more confident when drunk

JUNGKOOK
when im drunk im very honest.. like so much that it's just blatant at this point

JUNGKOOK
it's easier to tell them no when im pissed out of my mind and they ask for something more

JUNGKOOK
I know im not like that when im sober tho.. I have a hard time saying no because I don't wanna acknowledge that im hurting someone, you know?

JUNGKOOK
ive definitely hurt girls before when ive left before they even woke up..

JUNGKOOK
I have to be drunk for me to even have sex.. I just have to be

JUNGKOOK
I cant think about it.. I don't wanna be in a conscious state when I do it

JIMIN
oh

JUNGKOOK
it's fucked up and weird.. I know

JUNGKOOK
im certainly not proud of it

JIMIN
why do you do it so often? are you stressed a lot?

JUNGKOOK
that's part of it, I guess

JUNGKOOK
its mainly my desire to actually have that with someone, it's stupid

JUNGKOOK
I WANT to be with someone, but I just can't.. thats the closest ive ever been to it

JUNGKOOK
I like being able to be close with someone without needing to worry about actually being with them..

JUNGKOOK
its kinda pathetic but

JUNGKOOK
idk..

JUNGKOOK
I hold a LOT of false confidence, im not necessarily proud of being with so many women like that

JUNGKOOK
I haven't told anybody this but I honestly only do it bc I just long for what im missing..

JUNGKOOK
I don't do it for the cliché fuckboy title.. I don't do it to "get tons of pussy" or whatever

JUNGKOOK
that aspect of it's just fucking useless, in my opinion

JUNGKOOK
I do it because its all I can offer someone

JIMIN
Jungkook..

JIMIN
oh my god.. :(

JIMIN
you've never been in a relationship, have you?

JUNGKOOK
no

JUNGKOOK
and ive always planned on keeping it that way..

JUNGKOOK
but I don't know how long I can keep doing it

JUNGKOOK
it gets to me most of the time

JUNGKOOK
I have to be drunk out of my mind to even partly provide anything for anyone..

JUNGKOOK
ive thought about stopping it before, I really have

JUNGKOOK
it's the only comfort I can get anymore tho

JUNGKOOK
pathetic how I have to be mind numbed to feel any kind of pleasure from a woman, isn't it?

JUNGKOOK
yet with you it was so simple..

JUNGKOOK
yeah, it is. it really is

JUNGKOOK
but there's nothing else I can do to help myself

JIMIN
of course there is Jungkookie... :( you just have to let yourself

JIMIN
let yourself have that with someone..

JIMIN
even if it's not me..

JIMIN
talk to some girls tonight, just see what happens, okay?

JUNGKOOK
alright.. if you think it'll help