Effeminate | Jikook ✓

[01:33] 🔞

|| THIRD PERSON ||

jungkook was nervous, more nervous than he's ever been in his entire life. only one thing was on his mind throughout the night: jimin.

what terrified him the most was that he had no idea what's been going on the past three days with him.

for all he knew, taehyung could've been feeding his overly protective and bias opinions to the blonde, tricking him into believing jungkook really didn't have any legitimate feelings for him.

which he did.

for all he knew, jimin could've been under the impression that yet another straight boy was destroying him again, only using him and wanting him for his body.

which he wasn't.

for all he knew, jungkook failed to properly express himself to the latter, making it appear as if he really didn't find every single version of him to be appealing and instead confused his sense of discomfort as something to deal with him and his transition.

which it wasn't.. god.. that just wasn't it at all.

there's nothing more jungkook needed right now than to explain the whole mess of miscommunication; the last thing he wanted was jimin believing he's given up on himself.

or even worse, that jungkook's given up on him for something as life changing as his body's traumatic experience.

he would never.. he respected jimin, no matter what.

besides, after some genuine consideration, jungkook really didn't find it all that weird or strange. the blonde was just a very beautiful person in general, before and after his surgery.

he would never leave him for being what he was, a boy.

he knew that going into this, he'd be an ass if that were true.

"jimin?" the younger called out, nerves carving deep from within the shaky veins, hearing a few rounds of soft sobs from behind the door. "please listen to me.."

nothing. absolutely nothing. just a louder, more ear wrenching shriek of coughs and tears at the calming honey voice.

deep down, jimin wanted jungkook to finally come over and speak to him again, to hold him again, comfort him again. just anything, really.

hearing his voice hurt more than he ever could've imagined; he didn't know if he was ready to face him again so soon.

he just revealed his darkest secret, taking a bold leap of faith by exposing the younger to his story and formally introducing his truest form all at once; only to receive the reaction he feared the most.

jimin was convinced jungkook was only comfortable with him because he possessed a body he was so used to handling. it only made sense that once he saw his true prior self it would scare him off.

as we've seen from the raven boy himself, that wasn't the case. he never lied about being fully committed to trying with jimin, he's all in. but equally, we couldn't blame the blonde for having these thoughts.

after all, he was to blame. he doesn't react well. he strives to work on that if it means jimin doesn't have to doubt either of them anymore.

in his defense, at least they were common from people undergoing sexuality experiments. so yes, jungkook would surely find himself stuck a few times here and there since this wasn't anything he's ever done before.

however, that didn't mean he wasn't seriously sorry for the confusion and starting to figure himself out because of it. he knew he wanted jimin, no matter what his past was and no matter what his future'll be.