A Change Of Heart ♀Kaylor

Four // IV

"You smashed the glass into pieces
That's around the time I left"

1 week later:

Each day that passed, the guilt of sleeping with another woman other than Taylor seemed to weigh more and more heavily on Karlies shoulders. So much so that she couldn't hold it in any longer.

"You what?" Taylor whispers as she grabs a bottle of vodka from the shelf in the kitchen and takes a careless swig from it.

"I had sex with another woman," Karlie reiterates, not going into any specifics.

"You fucked someone behind my back!" Taylor shouts, no longer calm as she begins drinking more and more from the small bottle that she seemed intent on emptying out.

"I'm so sorry babe, I didn't mean to hurt you," The brunette replied quietly, sobbing as she watched her girlfriend chug more vodka down.

They argued about it for another ten minutes, before it started to get really toxic and really hurtful things were being said in the heat of the moment.

"Stop drinking that, you're going to kill yourself," she said, reaching for the bottle.

Instead of handing it over, she quickly drank what was left in the bottle and impulsively and drunkenly threw the empty bottle at the wall behind Karlie, who jumped slightly in surprise.

The alcohol had already taken her into a drunken state and Karlie could see just how rash and violent Taylor could get - it was a side she had never really seen before, but she definitely didn't want to see it again. It was too much to see the girl she loved and idolised act in such a dysfunctional way; Taylor's reckless behaviour was starting to make her uncomfortable to say the least.

Taylor started downing a bottle of whiskey, and instead of watching the aftermath of this, Karlie comes to the conclusion that she had made the right choice when she had ran away and runs into the bedroom. She pulls her suitcase from out under the bed and throws everything back in it, she had strategically placed everything in the room that she would need if she was ever going to leave again and was packed in no time.

Another smash sounds from the kitchen and Karlie makes her way to the front door and simply heads out without looking at Taylor one last time - it would break her heart if she were to do so, so she just left without so much as a farewell. As if their ten year relationship had meant nothing to her at all.

However, Taylor follows after her and watches her put the things in her car without stopping the girl. The blonde did nothing to stop Karlie, based on the fact that she knew she wasn't actually going to leave her. Or so she had thought. Then Karlie stops and looks at her, she was standing about a metre away from the car, and their eyes meet.

In this moment, Taylor sees the hurt and seriousness set in Karlies emerald eyes and realised that it's going to happen. As soon as the brunette opens the car door and starts to get in, Taylor runs forward and stops the door from being shut at the last second.

"What do you want, Tay?" Karlie whispered through the tears that were still falling.

"I want you to stay. I'm so sorry. Please don't go. Please don't leave me. I don't know how I'll live without you. I can't live without you. You're the love of my life," Taylor stutters out, as she begins to cry hard, and falls on her knees in front of Karlie.

"I'm sorry Tay, I love you, but I can't do this. Look in my coat pocket, I left it at the apartment, it explains everything."

Feeling utterly useless and knowing that she can't do anything else to convince the woman to stay, Taylor nods, stands up, and walks backwards to allow Karlie to shut the door.

The car is then driving down the road, taking the last ten years of Taylor's life with it. She felt numb and empty, her head began to spin as she quickly made her way back to the apartment that now seemed too big.

As she lay on her side of the king sized bed, the read letter in her left hand, she looked over to Karlies side and saw the mould of the younger girls body that was still there as if she'd never left. Just this morning she thought she was in a secure relationship, now she was left with a shattered heart that she didn't have all of the pieces to.

Karlie parked on a deserted side street to gather her bearings before she would set off again. Her sweaty hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles turned white, and she lowered her forehead on to her knuckles - she took deep breaths as she thought back to one specific night that occurred a decade ago.

No longer crying, but laying completely still on her back, Taylor stared at the ceiling and thought back to the same night.

"And you were coming across as clever
Then you lit the wrong end of your cigarette"

FLASHBACK (February, 2008):

"Anyone want a cigarette?" Selena asks as she pulls out a pack from her denim jacket pocket and holds it up to the rest of the group.

Everyone except for Karlie nods and Selena dishes them out.

They were all at Selena house cramming for a chemistry test that they had tomorrow. Although, so far it had been Karlie and Taylor talking everyone through everything so far - whilst everyone else tried to understand what Born-Haber cycles and electrons affinities were.

Unlike everyone else in that group (so excluding Karlie who was only there because she was Taylor's girlfriend) Taylor was the only clever one who got straight A's. It never failed to impress the brunettes how intelligent she actually was.

Somehow, the topic had turned to drugs and behind relatively new to them, Taylor lagged behind in the conversation; as hard as she tried to keep up, she couldn't offer anything other than a word or agreeable 'yeah' here and there. Karlie just watched the older girl with curiosity as she took the cigarette from Selena, still trying to keep up with the conversation and debate about which drugs worked the best.

In fact, she was so focused on trying to fit in and making it seem like she knew what they were talking about, she ended up placing the cigarette in her mouth backwards. The orange part jutted out on the wrong end, as the white part settled between her lips.

As she was about to light it, Karlie swooped in quickly and flipped the cigarette around the correct away, startling Taylor a little as she had been so invested in the conversation around her.

"I used to think you were clever until you were about light the wrong end of your cigarette," Karlie lightly teases the blonde, shining her shoulder playfully and giving her a bright smile that could light up heaven and earth for the rest of eternity.

Taylor rolled her eyes as she lit the right end, "shut up, asshole," she giggles.

Taking the cigarette out from in-between her lips, she pulls Karlie in for a long kiss.

END OF FLASHBACK

Sitting in her car, considerably calmer now, Karlie thinks back to that night. She sees how much Taylor tried to fit into that conversation and how nervous she was, so much so that she almost lit the wrong end of a cigarette.

At the time, the brunette still saw the older girl as clever and beautiful, but looking back at her actions suggest otherwise; it showed her that Taylor was aloof and emotional and cared what others thought of her.

This was a completed juxtaposition to what Taylor's self-perception was - the blonde believes herself to be a brash and confident person, but in reality she is just naive and anxious.

Even Taylor replied this as she lay still on the bed with no intention of getting up.

Then Karlie thought back to all the other times where the blonde had made little mistakes, despite seeming like she knew what she was doing - all she was and had ever been was a young and inexperienced girl who had managed to mask herself behind a facade that had taken Karlie a decade to see behind.

The sudden realisation wasn't enough to make her stay though. She started the car back up and kept driving - however, nothing good starts in a getaway car... or does it?