Cuts || Taekook [ Finished ]

9

three weeks later, i opened the frontdoor, cold, icey wind brushing my face. it had been a while since i'd been outside. my fingers were interlocked with jeongguk, who was, since a few days, officially my boyfriend. the both of us walked down the busy streets of daegu. snowflakes danced down the grey sky as we paced towards the graveyards seven blocks away. we were going to visit jimin. jeongguk had told me i'd be better to tell him goodbye before moving on. i thought he was right, so i let him drag me to the curch seven blocks away.

we had been walking for nothing more than 7 minutes, when i ended up on jeongguks back. after whining and groaning the muscled piggie had put me on his back. he walked slowly but made big paces. like a clock. a clock of which the hands made a tapping sound in a big silent room, the taps echooing between the marble walls. jeongguk was like a clock.

once we had reached the graveyards, i got of jeongguks back carefully. the younger having carried a bouquet of flowers all along, handed it to me before he took my free hand in his. i sighed. "i don't know if i can do this.." i said softly after pulling down the red scarf that was covering my face from the cold. i felt his hand slide to my waist. "i am right here if you need me, baby. c'mon, let's go." he said, in his ever so caring voice before he pecked my neck softly.

we walked through the graves, looking for jimin. i had offered to both search a different side, but jeonggukkie insisted to stay at mine. it made me a little warm in these cold days; knowing someone actually cared. and yes he may be my boyfriend but still. no-one but jimin had ever really cared about him. "here he is." jeongguk said after a while. i walked close to him and looked down at the gravestone of my best friend. i just stood there, feeling lifeless, empty, alone. jeongguk kneeled down, swooping the small amount of snow off the stone. it was a beautiful stone, just like jimin was. the stone was shaped round, it's color white, unlike all the other gravestones, they'd all be black, or greyish. the text on jimins gravestone was colored a deep silver, the color jimin had loved.

here rests jimin park
beloved son, brother and friend
☆ 13-10-1995
+ 02-11-2018
you will always be in our hearts

i sighed deeply, trying to hold back my emotions as i stared at the picture of my best friend that was sealed on the gravestone. i was a beautiful picture, one i'd once made. we were out in the fields during summer break. it was a happy time. i smiled softly as the memory sneaked into my head.

"aiiiishh jimin-siii!" i groaned as the older had splashed me with water. he laughed and ran away, his strong legs running all over the place. i smiled and fluttered my hoodie against my body. it was currently mid-summer, and about 31 degrees. "taetae, take it off, i know anyway." i sighed. "i know, cloud, but, that doesn't mean it makes it more comfortable all of a second." jimin shrugged and stepped closer, grabbing the edges of my hoodie. "hands up rain." i did as said and i felt the soft fabric of my hoodie raise over my body, untill there was nothing left. jimin smiled and looked into my eyes. "rain, i'm your best friend, i won't judge you for those." he nodded towards my split-open body. i looked down and nodded. "let's go for a walk, i'll give you one of my t-shirts to borrow." jimin suggested and i agreed. with my camera around my neck and jimin skipping in front of me, we walked towards the fields. the fields, huge areas with all kinds of flowers. flowers everywhere and in every color. a perfect place to make photos. it was getting later already and the sun started to set, so jimin dived into a flowerbed with only yellow flowers. i shot an ass load of pictures and since then, jimins picture everywhere would be that one.

the one that's now on his gravestone. i bent down to place the bouquet on the ground. tears had started to drip down as i did so. they dropped on the ground, leaving holes in the snow. i sobbed and got up and turned myself to jeongguk, who stood there, a sad smile on his face as he watched me put the flowers down. i buried my face into his chest whilst broken sobs left me. jeongguk made reassuring circles on my back. he didn't say much, just stood there, holding me close. "let's go home.." i said once my sobs had gotten less. jeongguk nodded and took me home.

once we got home, jeongguk took his leave, he had to come home. i begged him to stay, but he really had to leave. so here i was, all alone in my silent house, the only thing what could be heard was the tapping of the clock. i got up and walked to the bathroom. i leaned myself on the washing sink, my eyes on the mirror in front of me. i looked at myself only for a small amount of time. i reached for the razorblade under the sink. i had put it under there with a bit of tape it hung onto, so no-one would find it, though only me and jeongguk come around here now. i took the blade and held it against my arm. i pressed it, a little bit of blood dripping out. i hissed at the pain but kept the blade on it's place. i started to cry and took the blade off, crying even harder. i couldn't do it. i just couldn't drag the blade down my skin. i turned on the cold water, and held my wound under it. the bleeding stopped after a while, and i carefully dabbled a towel on and around the scar. i took a bandage and wrapped it around. i had never taken care of any of my cuts like this, nor had i never been able to not cut down further than just pressing the blade down. after aiding my wound, i stumbled to my bed, and dropped myself on it. my head heavy and my arm full of pain, i drifted off into neverland. a place where i'd meet jimin again.

// i love you all <3