Some Secrets Are Meant To Be Kept[Lashton]

Chapter 4

AN: *stich voice* Hi!

*Ashton's POV* [This is when Luke went to the bathroom]

"We have to talk," Calum said sternly

"What do you mean?" I ask wearily.

"What we mean is that we think you're hiding something," Michael stated.

"Why would you think that?" I asked confused. They can't know about my secrets, I mean some secrets are meant to be kept.

"You're hiding something from us Ashton. You've been so distant lately what's up with that?" Calum asked concerned.

"Nothing," I say quickly.

"God dammit Ashton just tell us," Michael snapped. I feel both of their stares and that's when I snap.

"I'm gay and in love with Luke," I say. After realizing what I said tears started coming out of my eyes as I put a hand up to my mouth.

"What?" Michael asked in disbelief.

I quickly ran out of my room and house leaving a confused Michael and Calum.

~

I don't know how long it's been and nor do I care. My phone has been blowing up with messages from the boys but I keep ignoring them. I think the reason I'm ignoring them is because I don't want to see their judgmental words.

How could I have been so stupid. I even told myself that they would never find out about me being gay and being in love with Luke. As long as they don't find out about me hating myself and stooping low enough to self harm.

Right now I'm currently at a park sitting under a willow tree. I think about how peaceful it is.

'Would it be like this if I just went ahead and died?' I think to myself.

I sit and listen to the wind blowing the leaves. I find it nice and calming hearing the rustling of the leaves. I'm the only one at the tree because the tree is hard to find.

'Maybe I should make this my safe haven' I think to myself. If I ever need peace and quiet I should just come here.

~

A couple hours later I went home. When I got home I was bombarded with questions. I just ignored them and went straight up to my room and locked the door.

I immediately went to my bathroom and locked my bathroom door.

*TRIGGER*

I opened up the cabinet door and took out my razor.

'Fuck. There is still dry blood on it what if someone saw' I think to myself.

I took off my many bracelets and brought the blade up to my wrist.

*END TRIGGER*

Cuts later I sat on my bathroom floor looking at my creations. After a while of sitting I cleaned up my bathroom and made sure to clean my blade this time.

I unlocked my bathroom door and got some clothes deciding to take a shower. When I picked a pair of sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt to cover up my reasons on why I'm a fuck up. I re-entered my bathroom and locked the door again. I stripped my clothes off and looked at myself in the mirror.

'No wonder everyone hates me. I'm so fat' I thought.

I got into the shower and did the things you do in the shower [and if you are dirty minded like me he does not jack off in the shower]

I get out of the shower and dry off and put on my sweatpants and long sleeved shirt. I then brush my teeth and get ready for bed.

I exit my bathroom and get under my covers and then realized something

'I didn't eat today'

And I was just fine with that

~

AN:

Hiya!

So I updated today and sorry if it's shitty I rushed it and didn't bother editing it.

I'm also gonna start school soon so I won't be able to update as often.

Also is it bad that I already know how my story is gonna end?

Don't worry the story won't be ending soon. I also don't know how long this story will be.

Anywhore I have to go and I'll try and update soon!

Also thanks for all the amazing support I have gotten so far!!

GOAL: 2 comments 2 votes!

If this story gets more popular I'll up my goals!

Love y'all

Stay Fab!