Some Secrets Are Meant To Be Kept[Lashton]

Chapter 19

AN: This is long over due and I'm sorry :-(

And if you can see the media that is what Lindsey looks like... why can't I be that pretty

And also re-read Chapter 18 because I changed it because I got a new idea for this story!

*Ashton's POV*

It's been a few days since I've seen the boys and Luke. To be honest with you, I miss them so much. 

Lindsey and Amber have been a big help too. They have been feeding me, but not forcefully feeding me. They give me small amounts each day that doesn't overwhelm me. I usually eat a couple crackers a day then I get full.

Lindsey and Amber are proud of me though. At least I'm not a disappointment to someone on this planet. 

I have also gotten closer to Lindsey. She is really lovely and sweet. She loves to crack jokes every once in awhile. All around she is a great person. 

I also haven't had the urges to cut. I think the reason is because I'm not looking at the hate and just in a better mood since I've been with those two. 

"Hey Ashton," Lindsey said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Yes Lindsey," I said with a raised eyebrow.

"I think it's time for you to go back to the boys," I froze. 

They'll judge me. They'll hate me for not talking to them for the past few days. They'll just hate me in general since I'm such a failure.

"Do I have to?" I asked, giving my best puppy dog look.

"Ashton," she sighed,"they miss you like crazy. Luke has been calling Amber continuously asking if he can see you."

"What if I get bad thoughts?" I asked in a small voice.

"You can call me and I'll be right over. You're my best friend," Lindsey exclaimed putting a hand on my knee. 

"You're just saying that," I mumbled, thoughts clouding my head.

"Do you want to know a secret?" Lindsey asked me.

I nodded.

"I was bullied in high school for liking the same gender. I first came out to my parents and my dad was supportive saying that he will accept me no matter what and that I'll always be his little princess. My mom was a different case. My mom didn't accept me calling me a disgrace to the family and that I was a mistake. She then later moved out saying that she can't even stand me anymore. I thought she would have a different reaction, but I was clearly wrong. I then told my best friend. I thought I could trust her," she paused holding back the tears not wanting to think about the past.

"You don't have to continue," I said, but she insisted that she should.

"She went and told the whole school saying that I had a crush on her and tried to have sex with her. I hated her so much after that. I didn't get physically abused. I got verbal abuse which hurt. Sure I would get the occasional slap in the face or a punch to the stomach, but nothing major. Words that people had said to me hurt the most. I couldn't take it anymore so I started cutting as a way to relieve the pain people were giving me. That went on for my high school years and then I cracked in senior year. I tried committing suicide. News got around and people just stopped bullying me and trying to be friends. I ignored every one and became mute. Then Amber came along and lifted me back up and got me on the right track and now I'm happy that I didn't die otherwise I wouldn't of met Amber and I wouldn't be here right now helping you get through this."

I looked at Lindsey and noticed that she was crying as was I. I gave her a hug and decided that I would go home and to promise to talk to her if I needed anything.

~

I had got home and noticed tha nobody was home which made me frown a little. I decided to go to Luke's room since I haven't been home for a long time. 

I walked up the stairs into his room and sat on his bed. I let my arms wrap around his pillow when I felt something under it. I pulled it out and noticed it was a journal. I wanted to put it back, but the voices in my head were telling me to look at it. So I did.

Dear Journal,

I learned that Ashton has feelings for me. 

I find it strange that my best mate has feelings for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not homophobic I just feel slightly uncomfortable that he has feelings for me. I love Ashton. Just not in that way.

I don't know what to do since I don't return those feelings. Do I date him out of pity?

I think that's what I'll have to do. Let him date me then break up with him. He won't be that hurt will he? I think he'll learn that it's just a little crush and get over it.

Write in you soon,

Luke

~

AN:

Don't hate me!

I hope you enjoyed it :-)

I'll try and update this weekend and this is over 900 words which I'm really proud of. 

Goal: 3+ votes and comments

Love Y'all

Stay Fab!!!!