Paris En Tu Invierno (ChuuVes FF)

xi: paris, france.

trigger warnings: abuse, drug abuse

Jiwoo.

I waited for Max outside of the Admissions Building since they were helping the head of admissions deal with a heavy amount of transfers. I was holding onto the bag of take-out that I recently got for us for dinner. I hope they like it. I sat outside on the bench, playing around with outfits on Zepeto until I heard the door click. It was just another student. I sighed heavily as a few notifications buzzed in my pocket. None of them were Max. I found my eyes closing and then I was shaken awake.

"Jiwoo!"

Max was smiling at me, smelling like some type of cheap perfume. I never wore that. I scrunched my nose as they embraced me into their arms. "Es-tu prêt?" (are you ready?)they ask me, their eyes shining brightly. I guess Max was trying something new. But, I really hated the smell of this cheap perfume.

"Oui." I didn't want to anger them. We got on our way to the train. I never stayed slept in the same bed as someone since Yves and I broke up. I wonder if it would feel the same. I wonder how it would feel to sleep with Max. They were always touchy, I wonder what we would do when we got back. Tonight was our trial run. I was staying over so that Heejin could study for their test, also because I wanted to spend time with Max. I also couldn't bare to look at Sooyoung (or Yves) in the eye. I wasn't in the mood.

We got inside and their apartment strongly smelled of alcohol and some foul stench. They sat my bag next to their cactus and slid off their shoes. I took off my own, setting the bag of food on the table. Max grins at me. "Tu m'as acheté le dîner?"

"Mmm." I sat beside them on the couch. They turned on the television and the news was on. I immediately got bored. They took the food out the bag and furrowed their brow. I got worried. They looked at me and grin. "What's wrong?"

"Je n'aime pas cette nourriture." Max threw it in the trash immediately. They didn't like the food. I got upset. I spent a good deal of the money I had on that meal. I didn't bother to search for a job here because I was loaded for a good year. But, I was harping on saving my money. I kept my mouth shut as I focused on my plate. Max made their own dinner, that was a sad little sandwich. They sat beside me. "Comment était la classe?" (how was class?)

"Eh." I recalled I finally made a friend today. Her name was Willete and she was a foreign exchange student from the United States. "Je me suis fait un ami." (I made a friend).

"Un ami?" Max smiles. There's mon amoureux (my lover). "Qui est cet 'ami'?" (who is this friend?).

"Willete." I finish up my dinner. "Des États-Unis. Elle est dans ma classe de français." (From the United States. She is in my french class)

Max raises their eyebrows and dabs their mouth with a napkin. "Intéressant. Je veux la rencontrer." (Interesting. I want to meet her.)

I laid on Max's lap and they stroked my hair, looking down on me. I smiled up at them. Immediately, they pulled me onto their lap and wrapped their arms around my waist, per usual. I tilted my head, curious as to what was going to happen. They lifted me up and we were going to the bedroom. I giggle as they lay me on their bed. I noticed a lot of bottles of alcohol and an ashtray was there. I didn't know that Max smoked. They hovered over me. I pull them close to me. "Je t'aime, Max." (I love you, Max).

Though it was only a short while, Max made me love them so much. I couldn't see a life without having Max by my side. They were giving me a home to call my own. They made me feel appreciated. I felt something for the first time in a while. Nothing felt comparable to the way they held and touched me. They were my everything. I known from the moment I laid eyes on them and they always told me how much they adored me.

Max kisses my neck. "Je t'aime plus que moi-même." (I love you more than myself.) We started kissing. This felt so right. I didn't know what right was right now. I couldn't quite digest that thought as I didn't know what this encompassed. As they kept showing how much they adored me, I felt pain inflicted on me. I also felt pleasure but the pain outweighed the pleasure. And once I woke up in the morning, I saw passion marks all over my body.

Max was fast asleep. I went to their dresser to see what they had on there. There was cigarettes and alcohol bottles on there. There was also a piece of lingerie. I know I don't wear it. I turn to see Max rubbing their eyes. They saw me and then literally jumped up from the bed and tackled me to the ground. They began hitting me in the face. "Pourquoi regardez-vous à travers mes affaires? C'est à moi!" (Why are you looking through my things? Those are mine!)

I was on my knees now. "S'il vous plaît, pardonnez-moi. Je voulais juste voir-" (Please forgive me. I just wanted to see-)

They slammed me across my lips. Tears welled up in my eyes. They gripped my throat and I was gasping for air. "Sois une bonne fille pour moi." (Be a good girl for me). I nod my head. "Si nous vivons ensemble, vous ne pouvez pas regarder mes affaires." (If we're going to live together, you can't look through my things.) I nodded again, obediantly. They lead me to the bathroom and dab my eye with a rag. "Tsk. Look at what you make me do," Max drawls in English. "Si vous étiez une bonne fille, nous ne passerions pas par là." (If you were a good girl, we wouldn't be going through this). They take a good look at me before going to the kitchen and returning with an ice pack. I didn't know what to do. I felt scared of Max now, but their attitude just changes and then...

They kiss my forehead. "I sorry," they say to me. "Fais-moi mon petit-déjeuner, chérie." (Make me my breakfast, honey).

I go to the kitchen and felt tears pour from my eyes. I felt my body heavy with fear and uncertainty. I felt myself crack eggs, but then my vision was slightly blurry. I wanted to see myself in a mirror. I checked my face in the reflection of a silver pot in Max's cabinet. I had a black eye and my cheek was bruised. I felt myself tremble. What am I even doing? I turn to see Max reading a newspaper and sipping on a glass of something brown. "M-m...mon cher..."

"Mm?"

"Et si je reste à l'appartement après le départ de Heejin?" (What if I stayed in the apartment after Heejin leaves?)

Max sat down the glass and puts down the newspaper. "Comment allez-vous payer pour cela?" (How will you pay for it?)

"Argent de ma famille." (Money from my family).

"Tu ne veux pas être avec moi?" (You don't want to be with me?) Max frowned. They guzzled down their alcohol and rolled their shoulders. "Mais je t'aime." (But I love you). I felt Max's eyes look at me from the back of my head. I didn't want them to be angered any more. I just wanted them to be pleased with me just once.

I didn't know what else to say. I watched the food cook, trying to catch a breather. I felt something hit the back of my head and then I felt blood pour. I grunted in pain as Max gripped my neck. "Si tu me laisses," Max hissed in my ear. "je jure sur mon père, je vais te tuer." (If you leave me, I swear on my father I will kill you). Then I watched as they walked away, as I laid helpless on the ground.