Amalgamation

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

"I don't want you to keep looking for my owner, " Suga mutters quietly, fingers brushing a lazy pattern against the bare skin of my back.

I am snuggled so completely into him that the question of who's limbs are whose has become irrelevant.

"It wouldn't be so bad, if you'd just adopt me, " he says softly.

I bristle at the very idea.

"I would never be okay with such a thing. You know why, " I remark, untangling my limbs from his so that I can sit up.

I face away from him, hurt that he would even suggest such a thing. Hurt for his sake, and for the realities of his life. Hurt that he would ever think I could possibly treat him in such a way. But most of all, hurt because it is clear that he will never be able to care for me in the way that I've come to care for him. How could he? He's unable to put himself on equal ground, unable to believe in his own self-worth as a person.

Trembling arms wrap themselves around my equally trembling body.

"I know, " he tells me softly. "It's just that... I really... Care about you...and I'm not really good at this, but I need to tell you-"

I smile, sealing his mouth with my own suddenly. I've been too entranced by his blush and his sweet words to hold myself back. Maybe, just maybe, I was wrong. Maybe it's possible that he does feel the same.

"I don't want this to end, " he tells me softly, still panting slightly after our kiss. He pulls me back down and onto the bed once more, tucking me into his side gently.

"Me either, " I whisper.

"I didn't think it was possible, " he tells me, shifting onto one of his elbows in order to look me in the eyes. "But I'm happy when I'm with you. The pain in my past doesn't matter so much, because you're always there. No matter how grumpy or cruel I've been to you... You just wouldn't give up on me. I didn't know how to take it at first."

I watch him raptly, eagerly listening as our fingers entwine together upon the blanket.

"I still don't know who my parents are, " he says, eyes distant as if he were far away instead of right here with me. "But I wasn't always a street rat. I had a home, a real loving one too. But I was still just a pet. I wasn't an equal. And that home... Well, it didn't last so long."

I squeeze his fingers tightly, urging him to remember that I'm still here.

"They sold me to this lady, she was lonely. Marital problems, you know? Anyway, she used me for her own satisfaction in the sickest ways possible, and then beat me when her husband divorced her because of it."

"Suga..." I begin, not sure of what to say but still certain that I should say something.

"No, " he tells me, pulling me into his arms once more as he rolls onto his back. "Don't feel sorry for me. I don't need that, not when you're here and in my arms. This... This is all I need."

I snuggle into his chest, doing my best to keep tears at bay. Such a heart-wrenching life... So I'd been right all along.

"Also, " he tells me, lifting my chin with his forefinger in order to regard me with a full smile upon his face "my name is actually Yoongi."

"Yoongi, huh? It suits you." I reply, smiling from ear to ear myself.

"It sounds really nice coming from your lips, " he tells me, nipping at my lips playfully as he lifts his hips, grinding his member against me once more. "What do you say to round ten?"

I giggle in response.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So, " Kookie begins hesitantly. "You and kitty cat a thing now?"

I nod, humming affirmatively as I fold the last bit of laundry.

"You're really sure about him? Cuz you know, I'd-"

"Hey, " Yoongi interrupts. "You smell wonderful today."

He wraps his arms around me from behind, paying no mind to Kookie who sits beside me on the couch. I blush, but I can't deny that I enjoy this.

"Couldn't have anything to do with the way you've been scent marking her like crazy lately. I fucking get it, okay? So can you lay off?" Kookie retorts.

"Nope." Yoongi replies nonchalantly.

I smile, watching the two bicker as they normally do. For Yoongi though, there doesn't seem to be any malice behind it. All things considered he's been in a pretty great mood lately. It still feels weird, calling him by his real name. But it's also something that he's been adamant about.

It almost seems as if he's determined to bury his past for good.

But I'm not so sure that he can.

I grimace, thinking about the news that I'd received just recently. Just a couple of days ago, right after Yoongi and I had finally gone to pick up Kookie and bring him home, I'd received a call from Jin.

It would seem that he'd found Yoongi's old owner. Rather, she'd found him.

Though I'm hesitant to bring it up, I don't dare meet with her without at least talking to Yoongi first. But how can I bring it up when he's already stated that he doesn't want me searching for her anymore? Not that I can let it go either. How else will he ever be free?

I bite my lip, so deep in my thoughts that I haven't even realized Yoongi is trying to speak to me.

"Hey!" Yoongi shouts, racing his hand before my face in an attempt to snag my attention. "Earth to Hazel!"

I snap back to reality, smiling apologetically. "I'm sorry, " I tell him. "What were you saying?"

He pouts, looking so adorable that I can't help but to giggle.

"I asked you what we had planned for dinner. I was hoping to help you in the kitchen." He replies, still pouting.

"Nuh uh, " I tell him, "no way you're stepping into my kitchen again. Last time you 'helped' me in the kitchen we ended up having to order take out, Mr. can't keep his hands to himself."

"Awww, come on!" He whines pitifully. "You know you enjoyed it!"

I sigh. Can't really deny that one. But I also don't really want to waste any more groceries at this point.

I stand, stretching vigorously as I do. So much laundry for only three people... I really need to start doing laundry more often.

And just as I am about to pick up the basket containing our shared pile of folded clothes, the doorbell rings. We all look to the door in surprise. No one ever comes here, so who could it be?

"Don't worry about the door, I'll get it." Yoongi tells me. The face that he adopts makes me giggle a little more.

I like to call it the angry face. It's a mask, I've come to realize. Yoongi's way of shielding himself from the world around him. But, he also seems to enjoy making use of it to frighten away anyone who might otherwise be encouraged to speak to me. It's a little problematic since anything with a penis is enough to send him slightly off the deep end, but it's also adorable.

He's taken to answering the door quite often lately, ever since that incident with the door to door salesman...

I shake my head, watching as he walks to the door. I should probably wait and make sure that nothing gets out of hand, but I see no harm in giving him whatever security he feels he needs. Let him answer the door, if it makes him happy.

He struts to the door confidently, yanking it open with every intention of scaring whoever may be on the other side etched clearly upon his face. But instead, he stands at the open door, shocked and obviously at a loss for words. I crane my neck, trying to get a good view of who might be on the other side of that door.

"It's you, " he growls.