Matthew 'Matt' Casey x Nurse!Reader

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Please don't hate me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

All you could see was the body on the table. You had seen the fire on the news from the nurse's station at Med. You knew that your boyfriend was there, fighting the flames. Matt Casey would be there fighting with the rest of Firehouse 51. Kelly would be there too, Herrmann and the others. You shivered hoping that Casey would be okay, that he would come home alive. Your name was called, and you saw Will Halstead looking for you. You raced over to help with the young girl he was currently tending too.

You were waiting with her for the MRI machine to get ready, you were trying to keep her occupied by asking her questions. She asked you about your boyfriend. "Well he's a firefighter."

"How did you meet?" You inhaled, "I meet him when I was involved in a car accident, a drunk driver hit my car and he pulled me out of the wreckage. He found out I worked here at Med. So, he started visiting, and eventually he asked me out."

"You didn't ask him?" You shook your head, "I was too scared he would say no." You smiled at the memory. "What was your first kiss like and when was it?" You turned to face her fully. "It was right before our first date. He looked kind of sacred to be honest. He, Matt, turned to walk to his car and I said 'oh' like I forgotten something, he, um, he turned around, so I kissed him. A short kiss, he looked really shocked. I apologised, and he said that I didn't need too, then he kissed me." You smiled as you finished the story, Will had been leaning against the doorframe. He pushed off from the doorway, "Alright, the MRI is ready if you are." The young girl nodded, and Will placed a hand on your shoulder, "Casey'll be alright."

A few hours later and a gunshot victim later Dr Charles had come up to you. He had taken you to a separate room and had explained what had happened during the fire. Kelly had been in the room with you, his eyes red and soot stained his skin. Blood stained your dark blue scrubs. The same blood stained your hands, it wasn't Matt's thankfully. But right now, it felt like it was. You stared at the body on the table. Kelly was standing behind you a comforting presence. You could feel him shuddering slightly with sobs. You walked forwards a few steps before falling to your knees, body shaking with sobs. Kelly moved to hug you from behind. You couldn't help but think of all the firsts that you had had with Matt. Now you would never to experience anything with him again. You struggled to draw breaths in, and as you did you tried to remember the last way Matt looked at you. You couldn't remember it, you wanted to remember it.

His eyes would never look at you again. Those beautiful eyes would never smile down at you. They would never again simmer with frustration whenever someone or something annoyed him, dance with amusement at Otis' pranks, shine with laughter at Kelly's terrible jokes, blaze with love that was meant for you, shine whenever they looked at you, or glitter impishly right before he kissed you.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please, please forgive me. 

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