Why the Straight One? | Book 1 | bxb

Entry 37 - I Never Did Get That Information

You would think that it would be hard to avoid someone you share a room with, right?

Up until recently, I would have thought the same. But it had been two days and Thomas was definitely avoiding me. The only meal we had attended together was dinner with the whole family. In those cases, although we sat right next to each other, we barely said a word beyond mere civilities.

And it wasn't like I could confront him. The lines of what I could ask him about were blurry and unclear. Anytime I tried to allude to what had happened, even to try and apologize, he changed the subject or remembered suddenly something he had to do. Worst of all, he wouldn't meet my eyes.

At first at thought he was mad. Angry at me for my thoughtlessness. That would have made sense to me, but if that was the case, I wish he would just come out and say it. I'd rather be yelled at then ignored.

And now the whole bet and the small progress we, as a couple, were making seemed like years ago. Had we really taken a step forward in our relationship only to take two steps back?

When we first made the bet, I got Cameron on the case. Who else would be able to find something like that out? I obviously wasn't the most tactful, but neither was I bold enough to just come out and ask the question. Cameron, on the other hand, had my such qualms, and told me he was going to ask Cole since he didn't feel comfortable asking Raymond about his relationships. I'd almost forgotten about their hook up the first time he and Jay visited.

"So, how much are you willing to pay for this information?" I was visiting Cameron's guest room in the castle, which was just a bedroom and bathroom. We were sitting on the bed, legs crossed under us, the way we always used to sit during our younger years when either of us had anything at all interesting to tell.

"I'm a poor man, Cameron. I haven't worked in ages, and it doesn't look like I'm going to anytime soon."

"You are anything but poor! Aren't you married to a prince? Hello! When you guys got married whatever he had is now yours."

"That doesn't mean I'm rich now. I have no money to offer you, so you'll have to just be a pal and tell me what you found out."

"On no. You aren't getting this kind of information that easily. Let's see, what do I want from you?" He stroked his chin thoughtfully, and waited in some apprehension for his decision. You never knew what to expect with Cameron.

"Oh I gave something that should be really easy. I want to know about this time that you had a crush on our Jay."

"He could be your Jay, you know." Something flashed across his eyes, but he was quick to subdue whatever emotion it was, covering it was an amused eyebrow raise.

"Don't try to change the subject. If I wanted him to be my Jay, he would have been by now." His face gave no sign of what he was thinking, but he lingered over his name slightly longer than the other words. Perhaps he liked the sound of calling Jay his.

"We already told you about it though." I couldn't figure out why he wanted to know more about this if all things.

"Well, I want particulars." He has that stubborn look in his eyes, and I knew he wasn't going to budge now that he had made a decision.

"Fine! It was a little after we graduated from high school. We were just hanging out one morning. Jay said something, and I let it slip that I had a crush on him. I kissed him, and needed up laughing because the situation was just too funny, and my crush was immediately gone. There, are you happy?"

"Not really. What did Jay say that made you want to admit your crush?" I wanted to not tell him. It wasn't my secret to keep. Well, it's not really that much of a secret really.

"He was talking about how he he had liked someone for two years and how he didn't think that person would ever notice him. Then I told him he needed to move on our make a move in that person, to which he replied that he didn't know how to move on. So I said that I like him and that we could see where that went, but obviously, that wasn't meant to be."

"I see." He looked thoughtful. "So, who was it he said he liked?"

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah I am. I've always wanted to know who he liked in high school. For some reason he never told me stuff like that." For some reason? Either he was playing dumb or he was really that dense.

"You! It was you. He's liked, no probably loved you since high school."

"Then why hasn't he said anything?" It had been a while since Cameron had let his guard down completely, even with me, and the emotion in his eyes was surprising.

"Cameron, everyone knows you don't stick with one person. Even in-"

"Well, I've never been with Jay, have I? Who says I can't stick with one person?"

"You do! You've always ranted about how you don't believe in love or settling down. Jay doesn't want a onetime thing that will ruin your relationship when you are tired of him. You know what he's been through. You know how badly he needs people who are constant in his life. He hasn't said anything because he's rather have you as a friend than lose another person in his life!"

I don't know where this was all coming from. I'd been thinking it for years, but finding it back in respect for Jay's decision, but today was different. I was hurt and confused about everything that had happened between Thomas and I. I was mad at myself for being so stupid, and for not knowing what to do now. And I was made that Cameron was so stupid, and always had been.

"Well, I—I need that too!" The tears in his eyes caught me off guard. I opened my mouth, but closed it quickly, not knowing what to say.

"But people don't stick around forever. Relationships don't last. I've seen it, you've seen it with your parents, and Jay for sure has seen it with his. I know I will always have Jay as a friend, but Jay as something more than that?" He shook his head, blinking rapidly to try and stop the unshed tears from falling down his face.

"You won't know if you don't try." Was all I could think to say, and he shook his head again.

"And there's no going back after you have tried!" Somehow we were both standing, facing each other from either side of the bed.

There was a slight tap on the door, and Jay walked in a second later. We both instantly stopped talking, Cameron wipe his eyes quickly.

"What's going on?" He asked warily, eyes going between the two of us, but lingering longer on Cameron.

I didn't speak, staring expectantly at Cameron, who avoided looking directly at either of us.

"Nothing. We were just...talking." Jay stepped closer to Cameron, eyebrows furrowed.

"Are you..." He looked like he was going to wrap his arms around Cameron, but he quickly brought his arms back to his sides, sensing the tension in the room.

"What the hell did you do, Alex?" He turned to face me, but still stood very near Cameron.

"Me? I didn't do anything." Jay wasn't exactly mad, but he was as close to mad as he had ever been at me.

"Cameron doesn't just cry. You must have done something." I looked at Cameron for some backup, but he was looking at the back of Jay's head in surprise and...something else I couldn't quite make out. Jay was instantly protective of him, and I think that in itself said quite a bit to Cameron.

"He didn't do anything, Jay." Cameron put his hand on Jay's shoulder from behind. "We were just talking. But really he was just leaving. He knows I have something to say to you." Jay looked at me, but I just shrugged, pretending I didn't know what was going on.

"I'll see you later." I looked back one last time to see them standing very close, Jay now facing Cameron again.

If something didn't come of this perfect opportunity, Cameron was really asking for it.