Why the Straight One? | Book 1 | bxb

Entry 44 - Patience and I Don't Get Along

"Oh no. Oh no. Holy shit!" This was the moment I woke up to realize that both of us were shirtless.

"Oh thank god." I fell back onto my pillow, relieved beyond belief. We both still had our pants on at least.

Don't get me wrong, I'd have no problem with the scenario I had imagined happening, it's just that I didn't want to be drunk when it did. And having a memory of it would be nice. As things were, I couldn't even remember how I had gotten shirtless in the first place.

I looked over at Thomas who didn't appear to be asleep by the way he was breathing, but who made no reaction to my hyperventilating. It was only then that I realized just how badly my head hurt. I closed my eyes and lay there for a while, trying to imagine the pain away. Finally, tired of the silence that filled the room, I decided to speak first.

"Good morning." He shifted slightly, but continued to lay with his back facing me.

"Morning." He mumbled, and I wondered if his head hurt anywhere near as badly as mine.

"How did you sleep?" I guess I was asking this kind of question because I wanted assurance that we were okay. It seemed like anytime he had ever been vulnerable with me, it had been followed up by him trying to shut me out, and the way he was avoiding facing me felt like a reoccurrence of that.

"I didn't." He sighed and rolled over onto his back. "How's your head?"

"Awful. I should never have let myself drink that much." I rubbed my temples, trying to ease the continuous pounding.

"Yeah, you don't-"

"Handle alcohol well. I know. But how..." I cast around for the right way of saying this, looking from his bare chest to mine, and desperately searching for some sort of memory.

"You don't remember?" I shook my head and instantly regretted it as that only intensified the pain in my head. Everything felt fuzzy, especially my memory.

"Well, it was all your doing. It appears that alcohol brings out quite a bit after all." He smiled at my embarrassment, but something about it felt off. I didn't give it any thought though, as I had other things on my mind.

"Wow...I really shouldn't drink. Did I..." I trailed off, too embarrassed to ask what I was thinking. Had I tried to turn our kiss into anything else? I mean, obviously I started to, I guess. Alcohol brought out too many of my hidden thoughts apparently.

"Nothing happened." Perhaps he meant to reassure me, but it only added to my shame. I buried my head in my hands, hoping to shut out everything including the constant pounding from within.

Just then, Thomas' phone rang, and I've never been so happy to hear that sound in my life. He muttered something about how early it was, and I felt the bed dip as he got out to check his phone.

"Jonathan? Kind of early for you, I figured you'd still be sleeping." He stepped a little bit away for privacy, standing in front of the window as he talked.

Now that was a picture worthy moment if ever there was one. The light was streaming in just perfectly, accentuating each and every muscle of his chest. Damn! How the hell did I not notice his back when we had just been lying in bed together? It was in that moment hat I seriously considered working out.

He must have felt my eyes on him, because he looked over at me. Our eyes met for a moment, before I looked away. When I looked back up at him, he had moved and was looking around on the floor for his shirt while he talked. Why did everything have to be so awkward right now?

I didn't pay much attention to anything he was saying, and was trying very hard not to keep staring at him. I don't know what he thought a shirt would do, because I had no problem staring at him with one on. Actually, I was going to have a problem if I didn't stop staring at him.