Getting Over You

the aftermath

I woke up the next morning and for a moment, the world seemed at peace. I was just a girl with a good life and amazing friends. 

The moment didn't last, and soon the memories of the previous night came flooding back. I covered my eyes with my hands and took a deep breath, refusing to face the truth.  

I rolled over and tried falling back asleep but my body wasn't cooperating. I looked over at the clock. 1:05pm. 

I groaned, knowing I shouldn't mope around all day. I slowly sat up and looked across the room to see my reflection in the mirror.

My dirty blonde hair was a mess, the curls barely still there from the night before. I had mascara running down my face and there were bags under my eyes. I cringed, this was definitely not an attractive sight, not that it mattered anymore. 

I dragged myself out of bed and walked over to my bathroom to wash off the remnants of the previous night. I turned on the shower and let the water get hot while I undressed. I stepped not the shower and washed my hair and body before standing in the shower for a while, feeling the hot water burning the back of my skin. 

Why me? Why did it have to be me? 

We were so happy, for two whole years, and then he goes and does that to me. I just can't believe that after two years of laughs and memories, he'd throw it all away for a make-out session with the class slut. I just couldn't understand what he saw in her, he never liked her when we were dating. She would throw herself at him and he always resisted. 

What changed? 

I shook my head, I couldn't stand to think about him any longer. I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. I dried myself off and looked in the mirror. I didn't even recognize the person I was seeing in the mirror. This wasn't me. I wasn't not the girl that cried because her world revolved around a guy. This wasn't the Alana I knew and I couldn't believe I didn't see this before. 

Two years could really change someone, and I couldn't believe the person that I had become. Ty was great but he wasn't perfect. He never wanted to go out so we never went to parties. I spent most weekends with him on dates, or I'd hangout with Elle. It was nice but as I looked back on it, I realized that I lost more than I realized. With Ty out of my life, my only friend was Elle. I lost the other half of my support system, and that alone made me want to cry again. 

"You are not going to cry for the rest of your life, it's time to pick yourself up and get it together," I said to myself. I wouldn't allow myself to waste any more tears on someone who clearly didn't care about me. 

I left the bathroom and walked over to my closet. I grabbed my nike running shorts and a tank top, quickly changing. I didn't even bother putting makeup on because there was no point. I had no one to impress and it wasn't like I was planning to leave my house any time soon. 

I opened the door to the hallway and left my room. I felt a sense of relief when I realized that the house was empty, I wasn't ready to face anyone yet. 

I walked down the stairs slowly, groaning as I made my way down and around the corner towards the kitchen. When I walked through the doorway to the kitchen, I went straight over to the fridge. I opened it and scanned the options available. There was leftover food and a salad that I could've eaten, and normally I would have, but I decided against it. I lost my appetite. 

Instead, I got a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water before walking over to the window above the sink. I rested my arms on the countertop as I stared out into my backyard. It was a beautiful, June day and the sun was shining into my yard.