Getting Over You

awkward silence

Alana's POV

The next few days were hard. Every morning, I'd drive myself to school late to avoid seeing Dean first period. The second and third periods were easy for me because I knew I wouldn't see Dean, but I couldn't avoid him fourth period. 

I'd walk in fourth period right before the bell would ring. Dean would be sitting at our lab table, looking down at his notebook to avoid me. I'd walk over and sit down, opening my notebook to start taking notes. The class period would pass with complete silence between us. It felt awkward and uncomfortable, the tension definitely visible. I'd rush out of the room as soon as the bell rang and I'd go to the library for lunch. 

I knew that Mason and Elle were getting tired of dealing with the constant awkwardness between Dean and I but I couldn't help it. I needed to separate myself from him to get over him, but honestly it wasn't working. 

I'd sit in the library during lunch and think about all the fun times Dean and I would have. I thought about when we'd sit outside in the summer and talk for hours, talking about everything and anything. I thought about the day I took Dean to the beach in town, my place for thinking. 

It was a lonely life without Dean, but I was too upset and angry at him to start talking to him again. I needed space.

Soon, it was Friday. I went through my new routine of avoiding Dean all day and soon, the bell was ringing at the end of ninth period. I walked out of class and down the hall to my locker, switching my books when I felt someone's presence behind me. I turned around and noticed my friends standing there.

"Hey," Elle said with a small smile. "How are you?" 

"I've been better," I said, feeling exhausted. 

"Well, we know how to cheer you up," Mason said with a smile.

"There's a party tonight, and we're all going," Elle said.

"No," I said, closing my locker before walking down the hall. They caught up with me and continued talking.

"Come on, Lana. You need to go out and have fun," Elle said. 

"I don't want to see him and I know he's going to be there," I said, walking out of the main entrance. 

"He won't," Mason said. "He's busy tonight."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, probably with that hoe he's been hanging out with," I said in an annoyed tone. I knew I sounded jealous but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything anymore.

"You're going tonight, end of story," Elle said. "I'll be at your house in two hours and we'll get ready together."

"Well I guess I don't really have a choice, so fine," I said. "I'll see you guys later."

They waved goodbye as we parted ways and I walked over to my car, unlocking the door as I climbed in. I quickly pulled out of my spot and left the parking lot, wanting to get home fast.

I drove home quickly and when I parked the car in the driveway, I got out and grabbed my bag, heading towards the front door. I went inside and straight up to my room, closing the door behind me. I put my bag down on the floor and collapsed onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling. 

I felt so tired, so done with the situation. I hated myself because as angry at him as I was, I just wanted to be with him. But the thought of him with that girl made me want to throw up. I didn't want to think about it, or him. I needed to go out tonight and have fun, I needed an escape.

I laid there for a while before finally getting up to shower. I washed my hair thoroughly and shaved my legs before stepping out of the shower. I dried myself before putting on a robe. Then, I dried my hair thoroughly so that I could style it when Elle arrived.