Nicotine // [michael gray / peaky blinders]

Thirty-Two

I move into Ada's old place in London, guarded constantly by Alfie Solomon's men. Jessie moved in with me and as did my friend Ruth, who helped me give birth to my baby.

My baby girl, Matilda Elizabeth Gray. Tillie Gray.

I wrote a letter to the prison that Michael's in—that everyone is in, hoping that they'll at least tell him that he has a baby girl. I don't care if I don't hear back from him, I just want him to fucking know.

"My baby girl." I whisper against her head. "I'll never let anything hurt you. Ever." I kiss the top of her little baby head.

-

Three months later.

"I think you should see him." Jessie says, looking over my shoulder and I shake my head.

"Not yet." I shake my head. "I can't forgive him quickly. I can't." I shake my head. "He took Michael from me. He took Polly, Arthur, and John all from me. Ada had to go back to America. I have you and Ruth and my baby. And my fucking dad, but he's a twat in Birmingham."

So I write him back.

"You're an ass."

"He'll know I mean it."

"We all know you mean it." Ruth pats my shoulder. "She's sleeping." She says and I nod. "You definitely do have to talk to him soon, though. We're running low on money."

"I have more. If you think I've just been dating Michael the past few years, then you're so wrong." I giggle. "I'm a proper fucking gangster, girls. I'll have Joh-" I cut myself off, remembering John's in prison. "Ralph bring it down." I nod.

"Who's Ralph?" Ruth asks.

"He's my best mate. You'll have to meet him. With your luck, he'll get here when you're up and you'll have to make him a tea. Light, one sugar." I say and she rolls her eyes as I go to the phone, calling Ralph. "Hi mate." I say when he answers.

-

"You do know you can talk, right?" Jessie asks as I make dinner for us all.

"What're you on about?" I ask.