Nicotine // [michael gray / peaky blinders]

Thirty-Three

A month later, I'm invited to tea at Lizzie's new house. With strict implications that there will be no Thomas Shelby.

"You're really going." Jessie nods as I stand in the kitchen, dressed and ready to go.

"I'm bricking it." I say and she laughs.

"Here." She hands me a flask. "I bet there won't be booze."

"You're the best, you know that?" I ask and she smiles.

"I did know, but you know I love a reminder." She kisses my cheek. "I'll get Tillie."

"She's sleeping. I'll leave when she wakes." I wave her off. "With any luck, she'll fall asleep in the car."

"Your friend Ralph is coming, yeah?" She asks, eyeing me and I nod.

"And he's driving me back." I nod. "Business in London, so he'll be on the couch. Tell Ruth."

"We'll be staying up until your return, don't you worry." She winks and I shake my head.

She's hellbent on setting Ruth and Ralph up.

"You'll do great, love." She hugs me tightly. "I'd come for the ride, but Alfie's got a surprise for me." She says, her eyes twinkling.

"You'll love it." I say, already knowing what it is.

He bought her a new flower shop, down here in London.

"Now I'm bricking it." She says and I pinch her cheek as there's three knocks on the door, Ralph's knock. "That's you, then." She says and pinches my cheeks lightly, and I do the same, a weird tradition that's recently started between the three of us if we're nervous, the pinch is to remind you that no matter what, there are two girls with a bottle of whiskey waiting for you back at the house.

"Ralphie!" I beam, opening the door, but it's not him.

It's Tommy.

"Florence." He smiles a little at me. "Not who you expected, but he's ill."

"If you hurt him, you're not doing yourself any favors." I say and walk right past him, into the car.

"What's he doing here?" Jessie screams after me as I walk to the car.

"Fuck if I know!" I shout back, closing the door behind me. "I'm livid, Thomas." I shake my head. "I can't fucking believe you'd do this."

"I needed to see you. You're my best bet at having someone like me. Everyone fucking hates me. Even Lizzie."

"Rightfully fucking so." I laugh. I've still not properly looked at him. "Why are you here?" I ask, still not looking at him.

"I had to see you, Flo. It's been months."

"Don't call me that." I say and he starts to drive. "Why today?" A tear falls down my cheek. "It's already hard for me to go see the girls, knowing two of them hate me. But seeing you too?" A sob falls from my mouth and he harshly pulls over, tightly hugging me.

"Hate me all you want, Flo, but we're family. Fucking hug me back." He mutters into my hair and I do as I'm told, hugging him back, feeling like this hug is what I needed to patch me back up.

We stay there for a while, with me sobbing in his arms, just down the street from where I live.

"I don't think I should go to tea." I say, pulling back from him with a snotty nose and makeup running down my face.

"There's no tea." He shakes his head. "I had Liz invite you so I could pick you up and see ya." He says softly. "I can't do it anymore, Florence. I'm only here for family, and everyone's gone. Everyone hates me." He finishes and I scoff, feeling stupid for even believing that trick.