Buffy the Bachelorette

Week 4--Part 4

Location: The Middle of Nowhere, Germany

2-on-1: Roy Mustang & Zuko

Two men, one rose.

One stays, one goes.

Buffy is seen standing by herself in the middle of a field covered in snow.

"I'm really excited to have this date with Mustang and Zuko today. It's no secret that things have been a little...tense between the two of them, but that's not what I want to focus on. I'm really hoping that the two of them can set their differences aside and just relax and have a good time. I think they're really going to enjoy what I have planned for today."

Mustang and Zuko approach in the distance. Both men wearing thick coats and appear to be shivering.

"Hey, guys!" Buffy runs up to them.

Mustang steps forward but Zuko sends a quick burst of flame to where his foot would land, causing him to slip. Zuko catches Buffy in a hug. "It's good to see you," he says huskily.

They break apart and Buffy looks down at Mustang. "What are you doing down there, Roy?"

Mustang glowers.

"Well, anyway, are you guys ready for today's date? I think you're really going to enjoy it. Now I know it's pretty chilly out and neither of you are huge fans of the cold, so I thought we'd warm up...in a hot tub!" Zuko's and Mustang's faces instantly lift. "And because you're my two fiery guys, we're going to chop some wood and heat it up ourselves."

"Oh." They say in unison.

The men are led to a pile of logs and each given an axe. They set to work chopping logs, each trying to out-do the other. At some point, they both remove their shirts.

Buffy watches with mild interest for a time, then picks up one of the split logs and starts fashioning it into a stake.

After some time, the logs are completely chopped and ready. Zuko looks at Mustang's pile and Mustang looks at Zuko's. The piles are the exact same size. Both men glower.

"So what now? Do we put the logs under the tub?" Mustang asks.

Buffy looks confused. "What? Oh, no. That wouldn't be safe at all. I said we were going to chop wood and heat up the hot tub. The work you did here was just a bit of free labor for the crew so they can have a bonfire tonight. Chris Harrison gives his thanks!"

Both men glower.

"Hot tub time!" Buffy leads the men to a large tub full of cool water. "Which of you would like the honor of heating it up?"

Mustang speaks. "Do you just want us to blast the surface of water with fire? I'm not sure that's an effective method—"

Zuko blasts fire at the water until it rises to a boil. "Seems to have been plenty effective for me."

Mustang glowers.

They change into their swimsuits and enter the steaming water, each holding a glass of wine.

Buffy raises her glass. "I'd just like to thank both of you for coming into today with a good attitude—well, as good as can be expected. Cheers to a great day!" Their glasses clink, and we see Mustang smile.

Mustang uses this time to really turn on the charm. He tells funny anecdotes and is more upbeat than anyone has ever seen him. Whenever Zuko tries to assert himself into the conversation, Mustang is ready with a new hilarious tale of his times working with the Fullmetal Alchemist.