Buffy the Bachelorette

Week 7--Part 1

Week 7

Location: Still The Bahamas (because budget cuts, okay?)

Buffy stands outside a large blue beach house.

"So... I think it's pretty obvious that last week took a bit of an unexpected turn. I definitely didn't think I'd have one of those seasons were exes keep popping up all over the place. If only they were one of mi—I mean, thank God they're at least not one of mine. Gross. Anyway, even though I was sad to see Chuck go, I'm really happy with my final two men. Sure, at the beginning of all this I never thought the last two guys standing would be Wash and Merlin, but hey, it's healthy to go outside your type, right? It's absolutely crazy to think that in less than a week I could actually leave this island engaged. That still isn't processing; it seems so adult. But what's weirder is that it's just so normal. Before we get there, though, they're going to have to meet a few important people first."

Buffy heads inside the house. "Hello?"

"Buffy!" A red-haired woman rushes forward and wraps Buffy in a hug.

"Willow! Thank God you're here, I can't tell you how much I've need you these past few weeks."

"Got any hugs for us?" asks a tall young man with dark hair from further in the room, an eyepatch covering where his right eye once was. Beside his stands an older man with grey hair and glasses.

"Zander! Giles!"

They continue to hug and greet each other until they eventually settle down on two couches in the living room.

"I'm so thankful you all are here," Buffy says. "This whole process has been so much more draining than I thought it would be, but it's been worth it, too, as corny as that sounds. It's been a bit of a bumpy ride, but I'm really happy with the two guys I have left."

"Do you have any idea which one you'll choose?" Willow asks.

"None! That's why I need you all. You've been with me through so many hard times, and I value your opinions above all others. You're the closest thing I have to family left."

"What about Dawn?" Zander asks.

"Crap! I knew I was forgetting someone. Oh, well. Anyway, today you'll be meeting Wash. He's super sweet and has a great sense of humor, and he just makes me feel really special. He's had a bit of a rough time the past few years—he's actually from another planet and got stranded here. He's making the most of it, though, and I admire that."

Giles begins chuckling.

"What?"

Still smiling, Giles says, "It's just so ridiculous. From another planet? He actually said that? And you believed him? That's certainly a unique dating strategy, that's for sure. I suppose it adds an element of intrigue."

Buffy, annoyance clearly showing on her face, says, "I don't know when you became the skeptic, Giles. We deal in the supernatural every day—who says things that seem out of science fiction can't be equally true?"

"Keyword: fiction. Have you seen any proof that he's actually from another planet?"

Buffy smiles smugly. "As a matter of fact, I have. I've been on his ship."

"Did you go up into space?" Giles asks.

"Well, no, but—"

"Then I rest my case."

Buffy turns to the others. "Willow? Zander? Help me out here."

They both hesitate, and Buffy sighs in exasperation.