Her Spirit Crying Out

platonic best freinds

Its an average night for me i suppose. yesterday was Christmas i spent it with my family. im not really fond of 90% of my family i guees that comes back to the fact im adopted and my family has never truly seen nor excepted the full and true me. ive just never been close with them but there are a select few with the family i actually like,like my sissy frill shes cool she is more one of my best freinds i think then one of my sisters shes married to another person in my inner circle, nate her husband one of my freinds then theres my partner chad on the job hes cool he taught me the finer points on how not to be the dumb rookie at the deparment. I guess i see him as a big brother type of guy. The last person is this amazing girl i know she has been my freind since i was 5 im now 23 but we grew up togther went threw hell togther. From our supposed massive emotional issues to just day to day we both except where not normal but i dont really see us as screwed up either we are unique cool and both have similar lifestyles. My love for bdsm started around 15 and i dove into the lifestyle hard!! For many years i was a dom but quickly figured out that wasnt me. Being trans the next thing i thought of was a sissy girl diving in to femme stuff was pretty quick and easy for me from wearing bras and panties to frilly dresses just was me but i soon realized that all that taught me was that i wanted to be a girl, and a good girl at that. With my years of exp in bdsm it was easy to know that a domme is was something i needed but still dont have :'( but none the less i digress so latley i have noticed i have been thinking more about her?! knowingly shes is a domme in the lifestyle makes me happy ! She is someone i am coftable around growing up with her i learned quickly she accepted me for who i am witch is cool. Every time we hang out we talk about anything and everything for hours on end we never run out of things to say to each other witch is nice because i like to talk a lot !! That being said there's a lot more that goes into it then that. For exsample growing up i i was a confused girl seeing as i was in a male body.! I had often confided in her with this even though it always came out weird like me asking her to dress me up (facepalm) but she always smiled and talked about things with me over the years. That i guess brings us to recently weve been hanging out more and i find every time im around her i act more and more like a puppy i guess its because im so coftable with her. I have no problems letting my true nature come out i often become more inoccent and sweet around her and while i feel the need to protect her and play the big sis role i often find shes the one protecting me both from the world and by letting me be me. This led to my recent dreams each one seems to be a little different but they always have the same aspects in common her me and some form of puppy play. now im not talking gross sexual stuff perverts this is pure inoccent sweet and not pervy!!! i often feel as if she is the warm embrace, my protector and when i dream or when im with her like the rest of the world melts away ive told her about some of my dreams but i never told her shes was one of the main characters in my dream. I always say i dont know its just some girl with long brown hair (anyway im digressing) my recent dream when this all first started was me walking around and hanging out with her you know average day to day things like shopping or going out to eat but then the dream always goes to the same place we walk into a house ive never seen before and next thing i know im on all fours and shes petting my head! I love getting my head pat it makes my whole body feel as if fireworks are erupting inside my soul but anyway then i start walking on all fours behind her and she sits on the couch and taps her lap i jump up curl up and rest my head on her leg she turns on the tv and she strokes my hair as we watch it. I often have had these dreams and theres a lot more im sure we will discuss later but i always feel warm and safe the dreams make me so happy but im always a bit sad when i wake and i always wished i had the guts to tell her i want to be a sweet inoccent puppy around her full time but i cant because if she took it the wrong way it might sever our bond and i dont know what id do if that happened, but i often wish she new and like i said this i think falls on the fact i always feel safe to be myself with her i often find my dreams turn into day dreams and i wish sometimes she'd just exstend her arm and and pet my head but part of me knows that will never happen and before u pervs think of something weird no this isnt about sex and im not in love with her she's just one of the only people in the world that i think truly appreciates and understands my soul and its needs for what it is that's why my pup side often comes out with her the other day we talked for like 8 hours on end. Easily till three am and the whole time i had my dog tags in my mouth and was playing with them but i kept hear my soul scream pet me, pet me, pet me ,pleaseeeee im a good girl but as usaual even though i was acting like a pup i tryed to keep our conversation on what we where talking about. I've never felt this sort of thing its pure, warm, safe, and inoccent i guess in layman's terms i just like being a puppy around her -rachel

*for those who are acutally intrested i actually had her read my book later on and she explained she new exsactly where i was coming from she told me its called platnoic bdsm and that i could be a pup around her always i think my tail was wagging so fast it could have cut steel*