Her Spirit Crying Out

gun range honor

BANG BANG tink tink tink the sound keeps repeating in my head even with noise canceling headphones that sound dosent disapear. the beautiful slide of the peice i weld so shiny and bright like the morning sun. today started out like any other day i supoose, i woke up took a shower took my estrogen and lit a cigarette. gazing at the wall i watched the flame rip through the tabbacoo and disintegrate it to nothing. my heart going piter pat, pitter pat, pitter pat well today started normal i knew it was going to be any thing but. as i submerged the butt in ice water watching it fizzle and and fade i ran the scenarios of every possible outcome in my head today. was the day i had trained for the day i picked up my first full metal jacket and blasted it threw the target with deadly precision i can do thi- my thoughts get interrupted by a ding on my phone. taking a sip of my smothie i picked it up it was dave c with 3 simple words *bleep is dead * he said i just got notified im sure it was an accidental od my heart sank *bleep* was a mutual freind of ours from back in the day she had fallin into a bad drug habit a couple of years ago one neither of us could pull her out of despite trying. *bleep* was a good kid i remember us always talking back in the day my head got pulled into the past, she looked at me what are you doing here rachel. i looked at her what do u mean i asked confused. as always she just glared angrily at me you know u dont belong here! huh i looked taking aback by her words. i watch my cigerate flame dance and devor the paper as i reflect. she said that crowd of dumb apes think there street tough and there not and that aint you, you are not one of those losers you can actually be something u could become rapidly successful! i threw my head back and exhaled as the smoke floated and silhouetted the night sky you really think so i ask? Crack i grab my ribs realizing what that feeling was my ribs just took a punch. of course i think so and you know it now stand up and find your dream she said angrily ! the ashes of my cigarette fall on my middle figure brining me back to the present. oh *bleep u could have really been something to im eternally grateful that I met you though. i stub out my cigerate and grab my keys i hope in my car and my tail lights egnite i pull out listening to my music and tearing the tires against the pavement. (im in love with an angel heaven for bid make me a beliver with the touch of her skin ) by theroy of a deadman the bands music radiated through my car. i pull in and kill the ignition i pop another cigerate in my mouth and light it this is it dont fuck up rachel just be your self ur be fine *bleeps words echoed in my head. i finshed my cigerate and got out of my car i took a breath and saw my captian and my cheif we stood in front of a large building and i knew this was it my captian walks in followed by me and the cheif. we sit making ideal chatter for a little but they put my mind at ease with casual jokes and then we clear the air about a serious problem in the department but they assure me they will handle it i thank them. as they walk around the building i notice my self staring at these two men these men ive long admired now not only because of their time and experience on the job but their kindness. these two took me in made me a part of the department and the brotherhood and now are with me for the moment of truth i - my thoughts are cut off again this time by a guy named tom. so ur the rookie i snap out of my gaze quickly yes sir okay sit down i sit in the class room looking at the board. introduction to firearms and firearm saftey he starts talking and i listen passonitly to his word for the next 4 hours, noding and ansrewing questions from time to time and then he says it the thing that catches me off guard could you shoot and kill a person right now! my eyes snap up to his as i feel my chief and captins gaze look very firmly and inquisitively at me. I look at Tom are you asking can I fire my weapon in the line of duty if I have to ? I asked curiously he said no any schmuck can fire a weapon he said do u have any moral or religious grounds to not discharge your weapon and take a life if you need to. i said no i can he smiled and said ok lets go we walk out of the room to a large counter and my cheif hand me noise canceling headphones and saftey googles smiling gently. He looks at me his steel gaze percing threw to my body i feel my cheeks get red and my body heat up he says three words to me DONT YOU FAIL.! i look nod at him and he leads me threw a door with a sliding door in front of us we approached the small table he says put on ur gear. as i put on the head phones im taking a back as everything gets much quieter captain looks at me and smiles lets go i hesitate a second but quickly follow suit. here I am with these two men I've admired for so long finally about to take the step I've been longing for BANG BANG tink tink tink the sound of gunfire smashes threw the silent barrier of my noise cancelling headphones. captain unholsters his service weapon firing two shots that rip threw their target his stance secure his face calm and determined. i knew i must impress them i watched captians every move his stance the slighest ajustment of clothes and the way he fired. the thing about my eyes is once they see someone do something once i can mimic it perfectly its a skill ive always ha- my thoughts are interrupted as chief puts his hand on my shoulder. have you ever loaded magazine? he asks i shake my head no sir. he un holsters his weapon and hands me the mag poping out the bullets load it he orders. my body quickly moves to follow his order this is a man i respect a man i want to train like to become as skilled as and he just gave me a test. my body quickly grabs the magazine and pushes the bullet down and into the mag i follow suit without being told as i feel his eyes peirce threw my body and chills go up my neck i quickly finished loading and hand it back he pops them out do it again. yes sir i nod i grab the magazine and load it quicker this time handing it back he smiles gently good he says. my heart soars and he reloads his weapon again. my captain is now facing us i jump to his attetion to meet his gaze. he waves his hand at me telling me to come and my feet move to him before my mind has time to process. he says un hook your belt and helps put the holster on me he says dont fail now smiling walking away. now my body perfectly mimics captians as tom comes back up. it was hard to hear overall the gunshots I remember the smell of the smoke in the room yet I wasn't nervous my hand was steady tom says when i tap u un holster and fire two shots. i nod my hand on my captians service weapon. tap BANG BANG tink tink tink two shots followed by the casings jumping on the floor! dead center i kept my gun foward and pointed at the floor. as my head turns 90 degress and smiles at cheif and captian who look proudly at me i nod. tom says okay two more this time only your right hand i quickly mimic my captian and tap, BOOM two more shots center mass i hear my chief and captians approval over everything else and i know im doing good. it fuels me ignites my fire within!! tom says two more left hand i do BANG BANG TINK TINK TWO MORE IN! he says two standing then two kneeling then pop ur mag insert another then two kneeling two standing i quickly comply when his fingers tap my shoulder and i hit all but two shots. he pulls the sheet up to us and says wow u might out shoot your captian i smile gently knowing i did good. he said u passed reload ur mags and we will do it again for fun this time then ill get you ur paperwork. im happy as can be Chief walks up to me did u pass? he asks i said yes sir you gave me a direct order to pass and i dont like insubordination i smile and he chuckles lighly. my captian says no way that was the first time you shot a gun i said no but it was my first time shooting full metal captain laughs and fist bumps me. he said I told Cheif that after the first five shots i smiled and i reloaded the clip and handed the firearm back to the captian thanking him for letting me use it ,i take off his holster presnting it to him. we walk out side and light a cigerate good job they say and pride from the approval from the two men i repected most shot threw my body like faster than any bullet. we took a drag of our cigarettes. as we finished tom said come on a little more class and we sat for another hour going over threat assments. then he gave me my firearms profeciency certification and i held it and thanked him. as we where walking out cheif said check the work chat tonight well mention you. i did later on and got a bunch of congrats from the rank and file could have been more happy!!!! -rachel

*Sorry guys I know it's a super long chapter in about double as long as most of my chapters I wanted to explain the joy of today in great detail*