what happens when everything uve held dear an instant suddenly dosent matter anymore? When everything you spent your life building suddenly is ripped in a matter of seconds u couldn't see coming ? When ur own mind betrays you and makes the self actualization that u suddenly no longer what the life uve been building for the last 10 years?When you hear only a deafing ring so deafing u cant hear anything around you, you'd think it would bother you but it doesn't. Why because your blood has run cold. When your mind smashes against itself and starts shredding itself into peices ur mind racing but your body hollow. Anger, fear sadness ,joy ,happiness, pride ,embarrassment, hit you like a flash flood freezing everything inside you, from intense emotions to nothing. you want to weep and let tears stream down your face and collapse into your knees in the shower but you cant because ur not sad your just empty staring at the same spot blank, emotionless , and empty spot for hours. While the water you can't hear or even see crashes around you. Being in the water for this long u assume the water must feel like an artic blast but you cant even feel it hitting ur skin. Your eyes bloodshot and sore from not moving. You had a passing thought to move but that's all it was a passing thought ur body heavier then concrete. Ur now soaked clothes stuck to your body because u didn't remove them in the haze. Your mind blank out of no where u tried thinking but no matter how hard you try u can't produce a single thought. When the lights are off and its pitch black but u can some how see as if they where on .When ur just typing on ur phone like I robot in the downfall of water hardly aware of what ur fingers are are saying. What do you do ? How do u survive. How did you use to breathe? Do u actually want to be saved? Do you even care to ? These where the thoughts flooding threw my head today after coming to terms with the reality of the slavery I've been chasing came crashing down around me like metors in the distant dry sky.
YOU ARE READING
Her Spirit Crying Out
Randomi suppose im writing down my souls thoughts and feelings lifes pretty strange for a bisexual transgender bdsm puppy who happened to work in law enforcement this literary work dwell's deep behind my psyche threw some of the darkest twists and turns
