Her Spirit Crying Out

ON YOUR MARK GET SET GO!!!

So it's been awhile since I posted an update so I kind of wanted to let you guys know what's been going on in my life I fought a lot of Crossroads in the last couple months. I grew up in a family where social status meant everything and it still does to everyone in my family to me that's a very toxic ideology at its core everyone on this Earth was given a gift something that they are special at they still have to put in tons of hard work and anything in this life that's worth it takes years of hard work it doesn't just happen overnight. I've made a lot of bad decisions in my life because I was raised on the old fashioned custom American ideology that you have get a typical 9 through 5 job and as long as you do that you're successful. What an amazing lie that was. For me I've never been one to set realistic goals I've always had big goals I've always struggled on the way and I've always continued to put the work behind those goals till I achieve what I wanted whether it was with emergency medicine or law enforcement or being a girl. Recently I had decided that I was going to be a cosmetologist so I enrolled in cosmetology school that was something I did because everyone was pressuring me to get a job in a conform to the normal social status. I realized at my core I don't f****** want to be a cosmetologist so a month into the program my teacher saw I was struggling so much because at that point it was like okay you going to be in $26,000 of debt if you don't finish but my teacher saw I was struggling and said why don't you take a leave of absence. By taking the leave I can come back anytime I want in the next hundred years it's not time specific leave of absence and my student debt freezes so I don't have to worry about it as long as I make $50 payments every month which isn't a problem for me. I spent a month after that figuring out what I really wanted to be in this world I've been through a lot of careers and that's because at the core of my ideology I believe that if you're stuck in one career and your life is very boring I want to experience thousands of different things in this world that's why I've had two high-profile careers. So after the end of all my searching I decided that I want to be an Olympic swimmer so I set a goal by 2028 I am going to swim on Team USA no question. I made up my mind set that this is what I'm dedicating my life to for the next 8 years that's a really huge thing for me normally in the past I had dedicated my things to really hide goals but they were smaller time increment goals. This is the biggest challenge of my life but I've been hitting the gym I've been training everyday I have a swim coach I have a dietician I have a nutritionist I have a sports medicine doctor and I have a whole team of swimmers behind me. I realized something as I'm going through my daily trainings with the swim team. I have never been as happy as I am at this moment in my life. This is a goal No One Believes In Me about but it's what my life's purpose is so I don't worry about what other people believe in me for because I believe in myself. And that's the key to life right there you have to have the right mentality when I walked up to my swim coach I said coach what do I have to do to be an Olympic swimmer and she gave me a list for worthy of the Mount Everest but I'm working at it and you know what I realized I struggled for so long and it hurt day after day doing something for one day isn't hard doing it for years is but that's not going to stop me and I realized in my last few practices this last week that it's getting easier it's getting a lot easier because I'm putting in more work and I'm putting in more effort I'm throwing more effort into my workout routines I'm throwing more effort into my diet I'm throwing more effort into my mentality and my optimistic views and that's what's pushing me further. On another note I realized something I began to resent my family about a year ago after I left law enforcement and they would continuously putting me down again now it's not good to hang around toxic people let me break that down if you a little bit so you understand what I mean when I say toxic someone who's toxic for you means that their ideologies clash with yours by no means does it mean that that person is not a good person it doesn't mean that you are not a good person it means that your mentality is unhealthy for each other that's it my family is made up of great people but them mentality is a so old-fashioned that they can't understand the opportunities that are in front of me. So because of that I began to resent them and for the first time in my life over the last year I began to hold grudges I started hating them and becoming aggravated anytime I was near them that was so bad for my mentality in my optimism because I didn't even realize it but by holding nose grudges I was sucking the joy out of my own life even when I was alone doing things that I loved. I realize this about 2 weeks ago so I let go of all my grudges I'm still struggling to let go of them I still think about them sometimes but it's something that I'm working on and I'm realizing that I'm loving my life more the more I'm letting go of the hatred that I harbored for them. The other day I told my dad I was going to compete in the Olympics now my dad is a very old-fashioned type of guy we all expect that dad's to say the words we need to hear it the time and you know what they're not super beings they can't do that I threw out my careers my dad has not had the best track record would saying what I needed to hear because he can't read my mind obviously LOL but when I told them I wanted to be an Olympic swimmer he made a joke and it was a silly joke but it was a joke that told me that he believed in my dream he said well I better start saving up so that I can watch you swim in the Olympics in the next few years and it took every ounce of strength I had not to cry in that moment because those words meant so much to me my dad is the only one out of my family who doesn't have toxic ideologies The Clash with mine in the one it's just me and him we can have very intellectual conversation based on this type of stuff so it was really cool when he came out and said that it really made my day I've been putting in the work for weeks now I even started a competitive swimming page on Facebook called competitive swimmer Rachel sky that's really showing all the trial and tribulation that I'm going through and it's going to be posting a that's really showing all the trial and tribulation that I'm going through I know what the future holds for me I'm going to be an Olympic Athlete and I cannot wait to get there I got a lot of hard work ahead of me there's going to be tough times and I know that but I feel so fulfilled nowadays now that I finally said you know what this is my dream this is what I want and screw what anybody else thinks about it I'm the happiest I've ever been so my advice to all you out there no matter what your goals are no matter what your dreams are is put the hard work behind your dreams develop that optimistic View and stop caring what others think cuz I promise you that if you have a goal and you put the work behind that goal and you had that positive outlook you will find that you will Limitless and you will find that you are achieving your dreams