Her Spirit Crying Out

old inner circle

I often find i want a life like you see on anime. Now before u guys get the wrong idea let me exsplain. In all basic genres of anime it always starts out the same way a group of freinds that has know each other forever hang out and do avarge things like make dinner ,play games or watch tv that sort of thing i guess the word cozy comes to mind. I guess its never really going to happen for me though even though i have a bunch of life long freinds like dave v ,raven , jake and frill or even chad now a days. When i try to get a one night a week thing going it always seems to blow up in my face and so i guess its just a fletting dream one my soft hands can never hope to truly grasp but more than that i guess it comes down to my souls lonley feeling people in my inner circle are the people who truly see me and accept me like sissy frill was one of the 2 people to accept me for who i am both being a girl and being a pup she dosnt judge me but its always strange trying to open up to her more its not like it is with the girl from chapter 1 who just gents me and even when i do something stupid just smiles gently at me or giggles sissy has a diffrent feel ive gotten drunk a few times over there and my pup side has slipped out but age always just laughed or played it off like it wasnt happening i guess thats part of the reason where not as close as id like us to be she excepts me but she dosent really try to see me for who i am i guess next is dave c ive known him as long as ive know raven or my parents hes a big brother type to me and one whos always kept an eye on me hes sweet in his own tough way me and matt both have broken pasts filled with a lot of darkness but he always makes sure to pull me aside and give me advice and i know hed be the first person to have my back of i need it sadly matt works a lot so i really dont get to see him next is jake, married sissy about 5 years ago when we first met we were not fond of each other we even tried downing each other once lol but over time we became freinds i guess freind would be the title i would give him its still a little hard to know cause he preaches his anooying rants on familys a lot but we used to hang out almost every other tuesday and when we do he always kills me making me laugh so hard he also watches a lot of movies with me and weve had some pretty deep discussions at times i wished wed have more of them though i know i dont fully have his trust yet mabye that has something to do with males seems females relize quickly they can trust me but i hope one day we will get there last is chad my brother in blue my partner me and chad have been partners over 2 month but thats like a year in law enforcement i can talk about anything and everything with chad hes the only person who dosent reallt sees me he dosent fully understand it either hes irrational quick-tempered and sometimes Petty but chad has had my back many times and even thought me the ropes for being a good officer not to say i dont have more to learn i do but i find while im super close with my inner circle we dont spend much time togther especially me and raven thats something ill be working on in the future
-rachel